The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 2: Rainbow Ride

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 2: Rainbow Ride

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Video: Rainbow Ride becomes the second course of the run, bringing difficult stars, risky jumps, and a growing appreciation for solid ground.


Course Number Two

A quick check of the castle doors revealed that there was only one place I could actually go next.

Normally this doorway would lead to Princess’s Secret Slide.

Instead, the randomizer had other ideas.

Course number two was Rainbow Ride.

Yep. Second course of the entire playthrough and already I was dealing with one of the game’s final levels.

At that point I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy run.

I spawned on the platform that would normally contain the first star in a regular playthrough. Unfortunately the star wasn’t there. What was there was the immediate problem of figuring out how I was supposed to get down.

There was really only one option available, so I checked where the platforms below were, took a leap of faith, and jumped.

I survived the landing.

My health bar didn’t come through quite as well.

Half of it disappeared on impact.

Exploring Rainbow Ride

After that less-than-ideal introduction, I worked my way towards one of the seesaw platforms and found my first star of the session.

I grabbed it and started exploring the area around me, collecting whatever coins I could along the way. Rainbow Ride is not the sort of course where I want to be careless with health, especially when the first thing it did was take half of it away for landing.

A Fly Guy decided to get involved as I reached the falling log platforms on the way towards the triangles. That gave me another hit to think about and a reminder that this course was not short on ways to become a problem.

The triangles were useful at least, since that seemed to be where the red coin star would appear. I made a mental note of that and kept moving.

Once I was satisfied there was nothing else useful nearby, I started working my way back up and spotted another star.

This one was floating above the first carpet route.

I also caught a glimpse of another star over by the maze.

So at least I knew where two of the remaining stars were.

Knowing where they were did not make them comfortable.

Backflips And Bad Ideas

The star above the first carpet looked awkward straight away. The carpet moves, the space is limited, and there wasn’t much room to stand around thinking about better options.

I only had one idea, and no real confidence that it would work.

I went for a backflip.

Somehow, it worked.

I collected the star and landed back on the carpet before the whole idea could become evidence against me.

From there I headed for the maze and used the same basic approach for the next star. Another backflip, another brief moment of concern, and another star collected.

At that point I had exhausted the stars I could clearly see. I checked the maze properly, grabbed the coins available, and looked around for anything else the randomizer might have hidden nearby.

There was nothing obvious left.

Which meant my options were starting to narrow.

The Big House In The Sky

With the easier routes running out, I headed for the big house.

That did not go well.

I failed the route twice and ended up down to two wedges of health. At that point, forcing the issue started to feel less like persistence and more like offering the castle a written invitation to end the run.

I decided to cut my losses and try again later.

There was still another route available, so I changed direction and headed for the floating ship instead.

That is probably the first point in this run where The Hostile Castle Protocol really felt like it was doing what it was meant to do. This was not just about collecting stars. It was about deciding when a route had become too expensive to keep pushing.

The big house could wait.

My remaining health could not.

The Floating Ship

The journey up the carpets towards the floating ship was tense, but it also gave me time to notice something I wasn’t expecting.

Rainbow Ride actually felt better with the background the randomizer had given it.

The music, unfortunately, did not have the same effect. It felt out of place, which is a shame, because the course itself already had enough going on without the soundtrack making things feel stranger.

Still, the route paid off.

I found another star on a box on the platform before the floating ship. Naturally, this one also required another backflip, because apparently Rainbow Ride had decided that was the theme of the session.

The ship itself had plenty of coins, which finally got me back to full health. After spending so much of the recording one bad hit away from serious trouble, that felt like its own reward.

I checked the crow’s nest and looked around the ship, but there was nothing else waiting for me there.

End Of Entry Status

By the end of the session, I had four of Rainbow Ride’s seven stars.

That sounds decent on paper.

It felt less decent while actually doing it.

Three of those stars were in awkward places, and the big house had already taken enough out of me to make it clear that charging ahead was not the smart choice.

Eventually I had to admit there was no getting around it. The big house in the sky would need to be dealt with.

Just not immediately.

After the amount of work it took to collect those four stars, I decided to stop there, pause the run, and compose myself before continuing in the next entry.

Jolly Roger Bay gave me a friendly start.

Rainbow Ride has corrected that misunderstanding.

  • Stars Collected: 11 / 119
  • Lives Remaining: 7
  • Courses Cleared: 1
  • Rainbow Ride Stars Collected: 4 / 7

Continue The Journey

← Entry 1
Entry 3 →
The Hostile Castle Protocol Hub
Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Survivor Edition

The Hostile Castle Protocol entries are written after each recording session. Every seed tells a different story. Some just start making threats earlier than expected.

Submerged: A Subnautica Survival Diary – Log 17 | The Descent Continues

Submerged: A Subnautica Survival Diary – Log 17 | The Descent Continues

Platform: Steam Deck
Mode: Survival – No Commentary

Video Entry

Apparently, the answer has been staring me directly in the face this entire time.

I checked my PDA and noticed something I had completely overlooked before: a clue mentioning a Disease Research Facility located 800 metres down near skeletal remains.

I have already been somewhere with skeletal remains 800 metres below sea level.

So naturally, I’m going back.

I take both my orange and purple tablets with me just in case. At this point I’ve learned that alien doors have a habit of refusing entry unless you happen to be carrying the correct glowing geometry.

One More Stop At The Aurora

Before descending, I decide to stop by the Aurora wreckage one more time. I had a feeling I didn’t properly loot it during my last visit.

Turns out I was right.

I found another hole in the hull leading deeper inside and eventually came across a Cyclops Thermal Module.

Very useful timing considering what I’m preparing for.

The Disease Research Facility

Once I reach the skeletal remains in the Lost River, I head left and finally find the Disease Research Facility.

To make this even worse, I realise I could have discovered this place during my previous visit if I had simply paid more attention. The only reason I found it at all was because I had been hunting for Ruby in the area and didn’t want to properly explore the structure without recording it.

Did I scout for an entrance beforehand?

No.

That would have been sensible.

Eventually I locate a way inside and immediately find somewhere to insert one of my alien tablets. The facility powers up enough for me to access alien data terminals, and suddenly several things become painfully clear all at once.

First: there may actually be a cure for the infection I’m carrying.

Second: the facility containing that cure is approximately 1.4 kilometres below sea level.

That is currently well beyond my capabilities.

For now.

While exploring further I recover Ion Cubes and additional alien data. I also learn something I already suspected: I am the last surviving crew member of the Aurora, and the quarantine enforcement platform is specifically preventing infected lifeforms from leaving the planet.

Good thing I didn’t build the Neptune Rocket yet. That would have been an incredibly brief launch sequence.

I also finally learn the true purpose of the Warpers.

They are effectively hunter-killers designed to eliminate infected targets.

Which means every encounter I’ve had with them suddenly makes a lot more sense.

So now I know what happened to the Aurora crew.

And likely what happened to the Degasi survivors too.

The Time Has Come

But now I finally have direction.

The cure exists.

It is below me.

And if I want to reach it, I need to descend another 600 metres beyond my current limit.

Which means the time has finally come.

I’ve spent the last several entries preparing for this off camera: building infrastructure, gathering materials, expanding the base, stockpiling supplies and trying to make sure I don’t descend into the planet completely unprepared.

I return to my larger base, empty out the lockers containing all the materials I’ve gathered and head for the Mobile Vehicle Bay.

I even wait for sunrise because if I’m about to construct giant survival vehicles, I may as well make it look cinematic.

The Prawn Suit

First up: the Prawn Suit.

It still doesn’t have a proper name or colour scheme yet. That sounds like a problem for future me.

But the important thing is that it exists.

And unlike Valentino, it can already reach 900 metres below sea level without immediately complaining about pressure.

That alone makes it valuable.

The Cyclops Problem

Then came the real objective: the Cyclops.

I press the button and immediately get informed that the water is too shallow.

Excellent start.

I briefly consider dragging everything back to the larger base before remembering my original base should still be located in deeper water.

So naturally I load the Mobile Vehicle Bay onto my back, climb into the Prawn Suit and begin walking across the seabed.

It is slower than travelling in Valentino.

But honestly?

Possibly just as entertaining.

Eventually I reach deeper water and try again.

Attempt number two succeeds.

I officially have a Cyclops.

The onboard AI calmly informs me the vessel is designed for a three-person crew.

Unfortunately for the Cyclops, there is only me.

We will adapt.

Preparing For The Descent

Before ending the expedition, I install a MK1 depth module into the Cyclops to improve its diving range.

Eventually it will need a MK2 or MK3 upgrade if I want to reach the 1.4 kilometre facility.

But for now, the next objective is preparation.

I want both the Cyclops and Prawn Suit outfitted as thoroughly as possible before continuing deeper into the Lost River.

I still have no idea what ultimately waits below the planet.

I only know one thing for certain:

I would rather face it prepared.


Continue The Journey

Previous Log: Submerged Log 16
Next Log: Coming Soon
Series Hub: Subnautica Hub


Related Subnautica Content

KRUNCH% Entry 2 | Darkmoon Caverns And The Five Lap Disaster

KRUNCH% Entry 2 | Darkmoon Caverns And The Five Lap Disaster

Seed: 232968 • Platform: Steam Deck • Character: Krunch • Format: No Commentary


Back Into Snowflake Mountain

With progression still fairly limited, I decide to return to Snowflake Mountain to investigate what waits behind the six-balloon door.

Apparently, the answer is Dino Domain.

So if I want to visit Dino Domain in this randomizer, I now need to take a detour through Snowflake Mountain first. That feels entirely normal and not concerning whatsoever.

I briefly consider checking where Snowflake Mountain itself has been relocated to, but curiosity wins out. I want to know what the randomizer has hidden behind Dino Domain’s doors first.

The results are already questionable.

Darkmoon Caverns now occupies Hot Top Volcano’s slot, while Smokey 2 has been shoved behind Fossil Canyon’s door.

So naturally, I decide to fight Smokey 2.


Smokey 2 Goes Better Than Expected

Beating Smokey 2 would secure the second piece of the Wizpig amulet and remove another major boss from the campaign early. Unfortunately, the randomizer has once again decided this should happen on the mirrored Adventure 2 version of the race.

Over four laps.

Could be worse, I suppose.

I get the best possible boost at the start of the race and immediately fly directly into a fireball, which feels like an excellent summary of KRUNCH% so far.

Thankfully, the recovery goes significantly better than the opening corner.

Between aggressive flying, momentum preservation, and two blue balloon speed boosts, I manage to overtake Smokey shortly before the end of lap one. Once Krunch gains momentum, he becomes surprisingly difficult to stop, even if controlling him still feels like negotiating with heavy machinery.

From there, I hold the lead for the remainder of the race and secure the second Wizpig amulet piece.

For a character widely considered one of the worst racers in the game, Krunch becomes genuinely dangerous once the speed starts building.


Whale Bay And A Quick Reconnaissance Mission

With Smokey 2 defeated, I investigate the remaining balloon doors inside Dino Domain.

One leads toward Dragon Forest.

The other leads to Whale Bay.

I choose Whale Bay first. The randomizer grants me a relatively merciful version of the race this time: only two laps on the mirrored Adventure 2 layout.

Compared to everything else happening in this seed, the race feels surprisingly stable. I secure first place without much resistance and continue exploring the island to see what other horrors the randomizer has prepared.

Fire Mountain’s entrance now leads to Sherbet Island, which somehow feels completely believable at this point.


The Return To Darkmoon Caverns

Then I remember something important.

The music in Darkmoon Caverns.

I spent an unreasonable amount of time in this course back when I originally played Diddy Kong Racing, and now that it has appeared early in the randomizer, there is no chance I am leaving without revisiting it properly.

So I head into Darkmoon Caverns.

The randomizer responds by handing me my first five-lap race of the campaign.

And very quickly, I realise this was a mistake.

Darkmoon Caverns is normally one of the later tracks in the game. It expects you to already understand your chosen racer. Meanwhile, I am still actively fighting Krunch every time I attempt to take a corner cleanly.

After a failed attempt and a restart, I finally remember an old technique from years ago: holding the brake button during drifts to tighten turns.

Suddenly, everything starts making sense again.

The race transforms from complete instability into five laps of uninterrupted concentration.

Five laps later, I secure first place, although I am fairly certain my hands have partially cramped in the process.

The silver coin challenge for Darkmoon Caverns still remains waiting in the future, but that can wait for another day.

Right now, I just want to sit in Darkmoon Caverns and listen to the music for a while.


Episode Video


Progress Log

  • Current Seed: 232968
  • Balloons: 8
  • Bosses Defeated: Bubbler 2, Smokey 2
  • Wizpig Amulet Pieces: 2
  • Current Threat Level: Escalating instability

Continue the Journey


Entry 1 | Snowflake Mountain Was Not Supposed To Be Here ←


Krunch% Archive

— All entries in this run.


Super Mario ROM Hacks Archive

— All Mario ROM hack content.


Entry 3 | Darkmoon Caverns Fights Back →

Super Mario Galaxy 63 Entry 9 – Bowser in the Dark World

Super Mario Galaxy 63 Entry 9 – Bowser in the Dark World

Apparently Peach’s painting was a trap. Looking back, that probably should have been obvious.


The Double Door

I still have a few options on this floor. There’s a painting I’ve noticed that feels like it probably has something hidden behind it, but I decide to investigate the double door beside the entrance to Bob-Omb Battlefield Galaxy first.

As soon as I see Peach’s painting, I immediately know what is supposed to happen.

Only nothing happens.

I jump.

The painting changes to Bowser.

The floor opens beneath me.

So apparently we’re doing Bowser in the Dark World now.

Or at least this hack’s version of it.


Bowser in the Dark World

And honestly, I really like this course.

For me, it captures that feeling of entering Bowser in the Dark World in Super Mario 64 for the first time and somehow makes it feel even more dangerous.

It genuinely feels like something that could have existed in an official Super Mario Galaxy game.

The only thing that probably could have made it better would have been the original Bowser music, but even then, the music they do use fits this place really well.

It just feels right.


Comet Coins and Checkpoints

I have two Comet Coins to grab here and I sort of immediately know where both of them are going to be once I get close enough.

One floats above two rotating platforms.

The other is sitting on top of a Thwomp.

I also unintentionally activate the checkpoint before Bowser.

I jumped because I thought there was either a hidden path above me or maybe even a shortcut.

There wasn’t.

Still, once that checkpoint activated, I immediately felt a lot more relaxed about the rest of the course.

If I fell now, at least I knew I wasn’t starting from the beginning again.


The First Grand Shine

With the course complete, it’s time to face Bowser.

Of course he delivers the usual villain speech first.

The fight itself is basically the first Bowser fight from Super Mario Galaxy 2, which honestly helped because at least I already knew what I was dealing with.

There’s also a strange symbol on the planet during the fight.

I still have absolutely no idea what it means.

Three hits later and the first Grand Shine is mine.

Only instead of returning to the castle, I get sent somewhere else entirely.

Bowser’s Evil Dome.

Apparently the Grand Shine I just grabbed is cursed.

So I guess I’ve still got a bit more work to do before I can return to the castle grounds.


The Run

This is how it actually went.


Continue the Journey

← Entry 8: Beneath the Snow Blocks


Super Mario Galaxy 63 Hub

— All entries in this run.


Super Mario ROM Hacks Archive

— All Mario ROM hack content.


Dolphin Setup Guide

— How this run is even possible.


Entry 10 →

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 1: Back Into The Castle

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 1: Back Into The Castle

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Video: Jolly Roger Bay, seven stars collected, and the first discoveries about Non-Stop Mode.


Back Into The Castle

I told myself I wouldn’t come back to this anytime soon.

Apparently that plan lasted about as long as most of my attempts at sticking to a schedule.

At the time of writing this, Krunch% is still ongoing, but the more I thought about my original Super Mario 64 Randomizer run, the more I found myself wanting another trip through the castle.

Before long, I was setting everything up again.

This time the difficulty has been increased a little. To keep things fair, I deleted the test save file I’d been using while checking the settings and started fresh.

Non-Stop Mode is enabled this time around, which means once I enter a course, I stay there until I choose to leave, run out of health, or the game decides to remove me from the level.

Given my previous experiences with randomizer chaos, none of those possibilities can be ruled out.

The Castle Opens Its Doors

With the settings chosen, it was time to see what the randomizer had prepared for me.

Its answer was Jolly Roger Bay.

That wasn’t what I expected.

In my original randomizer run, Jolly Roger Bay ended up being one of the more straightforward courses. I wasn’t about to complain, although the course itself seemed determined to make sure I didn’t become too comfortable.

The balancing pillars inside the cavern appeared to have developed a personal interest in my whereabouts and spent much of the session trying to introduce me to the water below.

Despite that, progress came quickly.

Seven Stars In Jolly Roger Bay

One by one the stars started falling.

The objectives themselves weren’t especially difficult, but the randomizer had added just enough uncertainty to keep me paying attention.

While working on the 100 Coin Star, I remembered that I would eventually need to raise the sunken ship guarded by the eel.

My assumption was that collecting the star inside the ship would force me to leave the course and re-enter before I could finish the final objective.

Apparently Non-Stop Mode had other plans.

After collecting the ship star, I was simply placed back into Jolly Roger Bay with the final objective still available.

That left only Can the Eel Come Out to Play?

Convincing the eel to cooperate took a few attempts. During that time I was fully expecting the randomizer to have hidden the star somewhere completely different.

Thankfully, tradition survived the randomization process.

The eel eventually emerged with the star still attached to its tail, allowing me to collect the seventh and final star of the course.

Jolly Roger Bay was officially cleared.

An Unexpected Discovery

With the course complete, I decided to experiment with the menu options.

Choosing to exit the course launched Mario out of the level and immediately cost me a life.

Useful information to have.

Not information I was particularly pleased to discover.

To make sure it wasn’t some strange one-off, I entered the course again and selected the option to return to the lobby instead.

This time Mario simply appeared back inside the castle with no life penalty attached.

Lesson learned.

The castle apparently charges a fee for leaving incorrectly.

End Of Entry Status

The first course is complete and seven stars are already on the board.

I also learned a few important things about how Non-Stop Mode behaves, which is knowledge that will hopefully save me from losing additional lives in the future.

I forgot to check how many stars are required for the various doors throughout the castle, but that’s a problem for the next entry.

I’m also not sure whether the Boos have appeared in the courtyard yet.

Those are both questions for future me.

For now, the castle has been surprisingly cooperative.

I’m sure that won’t last.

  • Stars Collected: 7 / 119
  • Lives Remaining: 5
  • Courses Cleared: 1

Continue The Journey

Entry 2 →


The Hostile Castle Protocol Hub


Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Survivor Edition

The Hostile Castle Protocol entries are written after each recording session. Every seed tells a different story. Some are simply more hostile than others.

Submerged: A Subnautica Survival Diary – Log 16 | The Descent Begins

Submerged: A Subnautica Survival Diary – Log 16 | The Descent Begins

Platform: Steam Deck
Mode: Survival – No Commentary

Video Entry

The new base is finally operational.

Honestly, I’m pleased with how it turned out. I had a rough vision in my head while building it, and somehow the result actually resembles what I imagined instead of a collection of underwater tubes held together by panic and titanium.

That said, construction was not exactly smooth. The base developed leaks almost immediately after expansion started, which explains why the walls are now covered in reinforcements. I would love to add more windows eventually, but considering the ocean already tried to force its way inside once, restraint may be the smarter option.

The important systems are online. I’ve got hydroponics running, a water filtration unit producing clean water, and a Gel Sack farm outside. For anyone playing along, once you finally find a Gel Sack, hit it with a knife a few times before harvesting it. The seeds can then be planted in an exterior growbed, saving you from repeated trips into increasingly worrying cave systems every time Aerogel becomes necessary.

The Call From Lifepod 2

During the time spent working on the base, another radio message arrived. I deliberately left it alone until this entry. If I’ve learned anything on this planet, it’s that distress calls rarely improve the situation.

This one came from Lifepod 2.

The coordinates placed it roughly 500 metres below sea level, which is now comfortably within Valentino’s range. Since the last entry, Valentino has received a MK3 depth module, allowing him to descend to 900 metres. I also installed sonar. During testing, it picked up a Reaper Leviathan nearby, so at least now I can detect incoming nightmares slightly earlier than usual.

I still had Lifepod 13 sitting on my HUD as well, so I decided to clear that first. Naturally, I got distracted by wreckage along the way, because apparently I cannot pass abandoned technology without investigating it.

The wreck did not offer much, and neither did Lifepod 13. I suspect I had already visited it earlier and simply forgot to remove the marker. Efficient? No. Consistent? Sadly, yes.

Below 500 Metres

Lifepod 2 was exactly as expected: empty.

No survivors. Just another quiet reminder that everyone else who tried to survive this planet appears to have failed.

While using sonar near the pod, I noticed something else nearby. An opening.

Dark. Deep. Wide enough to continue downward.

With Valentino upgraded and the sonar active, I convinced myself this was a good idea.

That confidence lasted until I saw what looked like an enormous crab with an exposed brain. I briefly considered turning back, but I had already come this far, and apparently that now counts as decision-making.

The deeper I travelled, the stranger the environment became. An underwater river flowed through the cavern, with glowing green fog drifting through the darkness. I scanned what I could and picked up anything that looked useful, because if this planet insists on becoming stranger, I may as well keep stealing from it.

The Waterfall Rule

Eventually I found a waterfall.

Years of gaming have taught me that waterfalls are legally required to hide something, so naturally I investigated.

The passage beyond could not take Valentino with it. It looked like there was breathable air inside, or at least something close enough that I was not immediately dying. Unfortunately, I was also sure I had seen a Leviathan somewhere nearby, along with Warpers moving through the area.

Leaving Valentino outside did not feel great.

I parked him as close as I could and went in anyway.

The Structure Beneath The Planet

Behind the waterfall, I found a giant alien structure buried deep beneath the surface.

I looked for a way to power it, scan it, or interact with it in some useful way, but nothing responded. It just sat there in the silence, which was not comforting.

I returned to Valentino much faster than I entered.

Thankfully, he was still there.

By this point, I was around 800 metres down, and it looked like the route continued even deeper. Before leaving, I found something else: a massive skeleton.

The scan identified it as the remains of a Sea Dragon.

That felt like the planet politely suggesting I leave.

I dropped a beacon to mark the route. I can go further this way later, but not yet. I need the ability to go deeper, and I need more than Valentino if I am going to survive what comes next.

New Targets Unaccounted For: 1

Back at base, another message was waiting.

New targets unaccounted for: 1.

I am assuming that “1” is me.

Which means something knows I exist.

That changes things.

The deeper I go, the clearer it becomes that Valentino alone is no longer enough. If I am going to keep descending into these caverns, I need a mobile base. Somewhere to store supplies, recharge equipment, carry resources, and support longer expeditions far below the surface.

And if something down there decides it wants me dead, I would also like something capable of meeting the problem head-on.

So the time has come.

I said I needed to go deeper.

Now I do.

Which means it is finally time to build a Cyclops and a Prawn Suit.


Continue The Journey

Previous Log: Submerged Log 15
Next Log: Coming Soon
Series Hub: Subnautica Hub


Related Subnautica Content

KRUNCH% Entry 1 | Snowflake Mountain Was Not Supposed To Be Here

KRUNCH% Entry 1 | Snowflake Mountain Was Not Supposed To Be Here

Seed: 232968 • Platform: Steam Deck • Character: Krunch • Format: No Commentary


The Island Introduces Itself

The genie of the island greets me by explaining that he is here to help and wishes me good luck. Given the state of the randomizer and my choice of driver, I can only assume this was less encouragement and more a warning.

I begin by collecting the overworld balloons. There are four available immediately, all reachable using the plane, which conveniently gives me a chance to relearn how flying works before the randomizer fully starts dismantling the island around me.

It goes about as well as expected.

I am already crashing into objects I had no intention of crashing into, which unfortunately feels very on-brand for both Krunch and the challenge itself.

One balloon in particular sits near the entrance that should normally lead to Dino Domain. Somehow I manage to collect it cleanly, which may genuinely be the most surprising moment of the episode.


Snowflake Mountain Is Apparently Dino Domain Now

With enough balloons collected, I enter the first available door expecting Dino Domain.

Instead, the randomizer reveals that Dino Domain has been replaced entirely by Snowflake Mountain.

So this is how the island intends to behave.

At this point, my available options are still limited. Two doors remain locked behind additional balloon requirements, leaving only a couple of places to investigate. I enter the first available track and discover Ancient Lake waiting for me.

Except it is not really Ancient Lake anymore.

It is the Adventure 2 mirrored version of Ancient Lake, and the race has been reduced to two laps.

The Dino Domain key is also available.

I briefly consider trying to win the race and collect the key simultaneously before remembering that I am driving Krunch through a mirrored randomizer while relearning how Diddy Kong Racing functions in the first place.

I used to main Tiptup back in the day. Krunch handles like someone replaced the steering wheel with a polite suggestion.


The First Reset

The key attempt immediately turns into a disaster.

I grab a boost balloon, panic slightly, and instead of reversing properly, Krunch launches himself forward like he has suddenly remembered somewhere else he needs to be.

T.T. politely informs me I am going the wrong way while I attempt to recover what little dignity remains.

Attempt number two goes far better. I secure the key successfully, although by that point the race itself is completely lost, so I restart the event and focus purely on survival.

Without the distraction of the key, the mirrored Ancient Lake race becomes surprisingly manageable. I take first place cleanly and secure the Dino Key without much additional trouble.

For a brief moment, the island allows optimism.


Bubbler 2 Appears Far Earlier Than Expected

Door number two immediately removes that optimism.

Behind it waits Bubbler 2.

So apparently we are doing this already.

The race is mirrored again thanks to the Adventure 2 setting, although this time the randomizer grants me four laps instead of two. Given how the fight starts, I absolutely need all four of them.

Fortunately, I feel much more comfortable using the hovercraft than the kart. Even with Krunch handling like an active mechanical dispute, the hovercraft gives me enough control to keep the situation from collapsing completely.

That does not stop me from landing in bubbles repeatedly.

Three laps in and I am still sitting in second place, but I can feel the race stabilising. My mistakes become less frequent each lap, the homing rockets start connecting consistently, and Krunch slowly transforms from an uncontrollable disaster into a very fast uncontrollable disaster.

And once Krunch builds momentum, he builds momentum quickly.

At the start of lap four, I finally overtake Bubbler and manage to hold the lead for the remainder of the race.

The first piece of the Wizpig amulet is mine.


The Car Challenge

Leaving Snowflake Mountain triggers the next event immediately: the car challenge.

Thankfully, the randomizer decides not to become completely unreasonable just yet.

One lap.

Simple enough.

I clear the challenge successfully and secure balloon number six.

For now, progression remains limited, but the next destination is already obvious. There is still one locked door waiting back in Snowflake Mountain, and whatever sits behind it is probably not going to improve the situation.

Still, for a first proper look at KRUNCH%, this was a surprisingly strong introduction to what this randomizer intends to become.

Unstable. Confusing. Occasionally hostile.

And somehow still survivable.


Episode Video


Progress Log

  • Current Seed: 232968
  • Balloons: 6
  • Keys Collected: Dino Key
  • Bosses Defeated: Bubbler 2
  • Wizpig Amulet Pieces: 1
  • Current Threat Level: Controlled instability

Continue the Journey


Krunch% Archive

— All entries in this run.


Super Mario ROM Hacks Archive

— All Mario ROM hack content.


Entry 2 | Darkmoon Caverns and The Five Lap Disaster →

Super Mario Galaxy 63 Entry 8 – Beneath the Snow Blocks

Super Mario Galaxy 63 Entry 8 – Beneath the Snow Blocks

Apparently every frozen floor in this galaxy has collectively decided it wants Mario dead.


One Last Shine Sprite

With one more shine sprite and two more Comet Coins left to collect, it’s time to head back into Snowman’s Land Galaxy for Beneath the Snow Blocks.

I instantly know where this shine sprite is going to be.

As soon as I land, there’s a suspicious set of snow blocks sitting off to the right.

That usually means one thing.

I grab the Fire Flower because I have a feeling spinning into the blocks probably isn’t going to work this time.

Sure enough, burning the blocks reveals a pipe.

Honestly, I was half expecting the shine sprite itself to just be sitting there.

But apparently that would have been too simple.


More Frozen Lava

Inside the pipe is another platforming course built over frozen floors that still somehow count as lava.

At this point I’m just accepting that ice is no longer safe in this galaxy.

The first Comet Coin involves moving platforms and disappearing blocks, which is already enough to make me nervous.

The second coin is even worse.

I have to create a path towards it, but every jump destroys one of the blocks leading up to the coin.

Thankfully I manage to grab it before running out of floor completely.

Probably closer than it needed to be.


The Final Stretch

The final part of the course involves rotating platforms and logs that immediately start sinking into the frozen lava the second I touch them.

Which definitely helps with the stress levels.

Thankfully though, the shine sprite is mine.

Snowman’s Land Galaxy complete.


Three Galaxies Down

Three galaxies down now, and honestly I’ve been having a lot of fun with this hack so far.

I’m pretty sure I’m nowhere near finishing it either.

Honestly, I’m completely fine with that.


The Run

This is how it actually went.


Continue the Journey

← Entry 7: Inside the Igloo


Super Mario Galaxy 63 Hub

— All entries in this run.


Super Mario ROM Hacks Archive

— All Mario ROM hack content.


Dolphin Setup Guide

— How this run is even possible.


Entry 9 →

Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Epilogue: Thirty Years Later

Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Epilogue: Thirty Years Later

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Why This One Needed an Epilogue

It has been a while since I last wrote an epilogue, but this run felt like it deserved one.

Nearly thirty years ago we were given the game that set the standard for 3D platformers, and in many ways for games in general. Very few titles can be called truly influential, but Super Mario 64 is one of them. Even decades later people are still playing it, still finding new tricks, and still discovering ways to push the game further than anyone expected.

I have watched world records being broken, seen people complete the game blindfolded, and watched runs that make it look effortless. That was never what this was about for me. I wanted something familiar, but different enough that I couldn’t rely on memory alone.

That is why I chose the randomizer.

Familiar, But Never Safe

I could have played through the original game again without any problems, but the randomizer forces you to slow down and think. Stars are not where you expect them to be, levels don’t behave the way your memory says they should, and suddenly a course you know inside out becomes something you have to learn all over again.

It didn’t take long for the run to remind me of that. Getting Rainbow Ride and Tick Tock Clock early in the run felt like the game was testing me right from the start. Those are not the levels you expect to deal with when you are still trying to figure out where everything is.

And then there was the hunt for the Wing Cap Switch Palace. For a while I genuinely thought it might end up being in the very last place I could possibly check. That search alone made the randomizer worth doing.

The Stars That Fought Back

If there was one type of star that caused the most trouble, it was the red coins. A lot of them turned into puzzles I wasn’t expecting to solve.

Bowser in the Fire Sea was one of the worst. The coins were placed in spots where grabbing them felt like a risk every time. It wasn’t enough to know the level, I had to work out how to reach them without burning Mario in the process.

Rainbow Ride was another one that stuck with me. Collecting the red coins there only to see the star appear at the opposite end of the course felt like the game reminding me that nothing in a randomizer run is ever simple.

Even near the end the run kept finding ways to surprise me. Wet-Dry World being the final course felt a little anticlimactic, but that is the nature of a randomizer. You don’t choose the order. The seed does.

Thirty Years Later, Still Worth Playing

What surprised me the most about this run is how well the game still holds up. Even after all this time, Super Mario 64 is still fun to play, still satisfying to finish, and still able to throw challenges at you when you least expect them.

That is probably why people are still playing it after all these years. Not because of nostalgia alone, but because the game itself is strong enough to keep people coming back.

The Journey Ends

I don’t know if I will do another randomizer run in the future, but I’m glad I did this one. It turned a game I already knew into something unpredictable again, and it made the final credits feel earned in a way they normally wouldn’t.

This journey took longer than I expected, gave me more trouble than I planned for, and reminded me why this game became a classic in the first place.

For now, I’m happy to say the run is finished.

And I had a blast doing it.

Not Quite the End

As much as this feels like the end of the run, it doesn’t feel like the end of the experience.

Super Mario 64 might be finished, but I’m not done with it yet.

So instead of stopping here, I’m taking it further. The same ideas, the same structure, but rebuilt on a much larger scale.

Next, I’m stepping into a version of this game that doesn’t stay contained in a castle.

A galaxy-sized version of it.

Continue the Journey

← Log 25

🧢 Mario 64 Randomizer Hub

Some games never really get old. Sometimes you just need a different way to play them.

Super Mario Galaxy 63 Entry 7 – Inside the Igloo

Super Mario Galaxy 63 Entry 7 – Inside the Igloo

Apparently inside the igloo is where the ice itself becomes the problem.


Back Into Snowman’s Land Galaxy

No prizes for guessing where I’m heading for this entry.

Back into Snowman’s Land Galaxy I go, this time for Inside the Igloo.

Hopefully this version is a little different from the one back in Super Mario 64.

I remembered passing the igloo while climbing towards the giant snowman, so I had a feeling there would be a shine sprite hidden in there somewhere.

Would have been disappointed if there wasn’t.


Ice Mario Returns

Before heading inside, I grab the mushroom that gives Mario an extra three hits.

My theory was that the extra health would carry over into the igloo.

It doesn’t.

So already off to a strong start.

Inside the igloo introduces the next power-up for this hack: the Ice Flower.

Which means Ice Mario returns.

Inside the igloo, the frozen floor is basically lava unless I’m using the power-up, so staying Ice Mario becomes fairly important.


Snowballs and Comet Coins

Before long I’m rolling snowballs around to make them larger.

The idea is to push them into the frozen floor so they create paths I can safely cross.

The first Comet Coin takes a few attempts.

That one needs a triple jump into a spin, followed by a wall jump to actually reach it.

The second one isn’t quite as awkward, although I do mess up my timing with the Ice Flower power-up slightly.

Nothing to do with Mario suddenly deciding to show off his acrobatic skills of course.

That mistake does leave me sitting on one health though.


One Health Left

Thankfully, I manage to take that single remaining hit point all the way to the shine sprite.

I do briefly consider immediately going for the final shine sprite in this galaxy while I’m already here.

Then I remember how lucky this run felt at several points.

I decide not to push it.

The shine sprite is mine, and honestly, I’m happy enough taking the win.


The Run

This is how it actually went.


Continue the Journey

← Entry 6: Red Coins on The Summit


Super Mario Galaxy 63 Hub

— All entries in this run.


Super Mario ROM Hacks Archive

— All Mario ROM hack content.


Dolphin Setup Guide

— How this run is even possible.


Entry 8 →

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