The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath โ€“ Day Four

Day 4 of my Grounded permadeath run ends in tangled webs and tragedy. I go on a grub hunt, dodge danger, and fall victim to a tag team of Crab Weavers in a very sticky situation.

Missed the previous day? Find it here:The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath โ€“ Day Three


๐ŸŒ… Morning Optimism and Muddy Water

I wake up ready to dig. A shovel in hand and dreams of juicy grubs in my head, I set off convinced today will be the day I solve my hydration issues.

The game disagrees.

Despite digging around like a hyperactive mole, I canโ€™t find a single grub. My thirst levelโ€™s tanking faster than my optimism, so I do the one thing I swore Iโ€™d never do againโ€”drink the dirty water.

Letโ€™s just say it quenched the thirst, but also quenched a small part of my soul.


๐Ÿ”Ž Exploration… and a Red Flag

With no grubs in sight, I pivot to exploration. Maybe Iโ€™ll find a new science pod. Maybe Iโ€™ll find some dew. Maybe Iโ€™ll finally catch a break.

I find another science podโ€”score!

I also find a Crab Weaverโ€”less of a score.

I do a tactical retreat (read: panic sprint) and live to fight another moment. Once the coast seems clear, I try heading back in.


๐Ÿ•ธ๏ธ The End Comes in Eight-Legged Waves

What I donโ€™t realise is that a Crab Weaver Jr. is nearby. It spots me. Itโ€™s faster than me. And worse, my weapons might as well be cocktail sticks.

I attempt a second retreat.

Thatโ€™s when Crab Weaver Sr. shows up again. I get stuck in a web.

Iโ€™d love to say I fought bravely. I didnโ€™t. I flailed, screamed, and got tag-teamed into the afterlife by two angry arachnids.


๐Ÿชฆ Farewell to the Backyard For Now

Run ends: Day 4

Cause of death: Crab Weaver Jr. and Sr. โ€“ A United Front
Final thoughts: If you’re thirsty, drink dew. If you canโ€™t find dew… maybe just accept your fate.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Eleven

Loki the MVP, and Ustengrav Gets Sneaky

Day 11 of my Skyrim Survival Mode playthrough on Nintendo Switch. I cure my vampire disease, nearly lose the run to disconnected controls, and finally become the stealth archer I keep pretending to be.

Missed the previous day? Find it here: Skyrim Survival Day Ten


Cured, Not Cursed

After some internal debate, I decided to cure the disease before I fully turned vampire. Iโ€™m not ruling out the vampire lifestyle forever, but for now I prefer my Argonian warm-blooded and not photophobic. Maybe next time.


Ustengrav Ambush: Hooves First, Questions Later

Outside Ustengrav, Iโ€™m ambushed by three bandits and a necromancer. Couldโ€™ve been the end of the runโ€”especially when my Joy-Cons disconnected mid-fight. Nothing like fumbling for a controller while enemies swing for your skull.

Luckily, Loki stepped in. I dismounted and used hit-and-run tactics while my horse quite literally stomped the threat out of them. Between the panic, arrows, and hooves, we made it through.


Depths of Ustengrav: Stealth Archer, Finally

Inside, I finally commit to the stealth archer lifestyle I keep pretending Iโ€™ve mastered. Draugr fall one by one to well-placed arrows, never knowing what hit them. This is the dream.

For a brief moment, I wonder if thereโ€™s a way to bring Loki into dungeons. Probably not. Still, the mental image of a stealth horse sneaking past Draugr is one Iโ€™ll cherish.


The Horn Is… Missing?

Reach the end of Ustengrav, expecting to claim the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller. Instead, I find a note. Great. Someoneโ€™s stolen it and wants a private meeting at the Sleeping Giant Inn in Riverwood. Because thatโ€™s not suspicious at all.


Back to Morthal

With the dungeon cleared and no horn in sight, I head back to the inn in Morthal to thaw out and call it a day. Iโ€™ll deal with mystery notes and secret meetings tomorrow. For now, Iโ€™ve earned some warm food and sleep.

The Cold Chronicles Day Eight: A Voyageur’s Tale of The Long Dark

The Cold Chronicles โ€“ Day 8: Blizzard Brain, Coffee Dreams, and the Wolf-Bear Gauntlet

Difficulty: Voyageur
Optional Features: Cougar enabled (because why not add another predator?)

On Day 8 of my The Long Dark Voyageur playthrough, a blizzard delays my journey to Mystery Lake, a wolf ruins my wardrobe, and a bear guards the one safe house I actually needed.

Missed Day 7? Read it here.

The World Says “No”

I woke up in the garage feeling ready. It was finally time to leave Mountain Town. I had supplies, a rifle, semi-repaired clothes, and a general sense of purpose. I opened the doorโ€”and immediately closed it again.

A blizzard. Whiteout conditions. Zero visibility. It sounded like the wind was trying to eat the building.

So instead of forging ahead, I read a sewing book for three hours. Not the action-packed survival story Iโ€™d hoped to tell, but heyโ€”knowledge is warmth, and warmth is survival.

Loot Cache and a Coffee Blessing

When the blizzard passed, I made use of the break in weather to drop off excess gear in the garage and go hunting for anything I mightโ€™ve missed before I left the region. Turned out to be a smart call.

I found a few food items, a fishing book for future lakeside relaxation, and a couple precious packets of coffeeโ€”liquid courage for the road ahead. I also stumbled on a note tucked inside one of the buildings. It mentioned someone heading for Mystery Lake in search of shelter. That was the nudge I needed. If someone else thought it was a good spot to survive, it was good enough for me.

Destination: Mystery Lake. All I had to do was make it there alive.

A Wolf, a Cabin, and a Bear

I started my journey out of Coastal Highway with cautious optimism. I knew the route wouldnโ€™t be easy, but I wasnโ€™t expecting the game to throw both a wolf and a bear at me before I hit the transition zone.

The wolf spotted me and started trailing from behind. I lit my only torch, hoping to ward it off. The flame sputtered and died immediately. Classic.

I sprinted toward a nearby cabin, figuring I could slam the door behind me and catch my breath. That plan fell apart the second I saw the bear casually loitering near the entrance. Just vibing. Just existing. In my exact path.

I did a full 180 and ran like my life depended on itโ€”because it did.

Firearms and Failure

The wolf was still chasing me. Desperate, I turned, pulled out my rifle, aimed, and missed completely. Either the cold got to me or I was too panicked to aim. Probably both.

The wolf lunged and took me down. I fought it off, but not before it shredded one of my best hats and ripped into some of my gear. More repairs. More cloth. More silent rage.

Back to the Garage

Wounded, frustrated, and very much not at Mystery Lake, I limped back to the garage like a defeated scavenger. I spent the rest of the evening repairing what I could, drinking some of that hard-earned coffee, and trying not to think about the bear still blocking the one safe house that couldโ€™ve saved me.

On the bright side, I survived. Barely. Day 9 will be my next attempt to leave this place behindโ€”for real this time.

Unless it blizzards again. Or the bear moves in permanently.

Continue the journey:
Day 7 |
Day 9

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Ten

Vampires, Arrows, and Question Footwear

Day 10 of my Skyrim Survival playthrough on Nintendo Switch. I finally track down the Master Vampire, get cursed, loot a backpack, and question one vampireโ€™s strange obsession with boots.

Missed the previous entry? Find it here: Skyrim Survival Day Nine


Cave of Arrows and Errors

I picked up where I left offโ€”tracking down the Master Vampire whoโ€™d been making Morthal miserable. The cave wasnโ€™t far, but it was full of surprises. The first being how embarrassingly bad I am with a bow.

Two frostbite spiders greeted me, and I introduced them to about fifteen arrowsโ€”most of which missed. Somehow they didnโ€™t notice. Either Iโ€™m too stealthy or they were too busy being creepy in the dark.

Thralls, Vampires, and the Great Boot Hoard
Things picked up after that. I managed to sneak around and take out two thralls without them raising the alarm. They dropped quietly, like they knew it was their time.

Then I stumbled across a vampire sleeping off the night shift. One solid sneak attack and it was nap time forever. They didnโ€™t have much, but their bookshelf was packed with boots. Not books. Boots. One of them boosted my sneaking, so I took the hint and left the rest.


Alva, Infection, and Indecision


Further in, Alva reappearedโ€”clearly still in a mood after her last defeat. A thrall decided to help me by attacking her, which made things easier. But before I could finish the job, she tagged me with Sanguinare Vampiris. So now Iโ€™m infected. Not thrilled, but not rushing to cure it either. Still weighing the pros and cons of turning undead.

Mission Complete, Bonus Backpack Secured
Eventually I found and eliminated the Master Vampire. No dramatic boss fightโ€”just a clean, quiet finish. I headed back to Morthal, where the Jarl thanked me and promised the Thane title if I helped the locals.

While doing some casual burglaryโ€”I mean, investigatingโ€”I came across a backpack enchantment that boosts bow damage by 10%. I took it as divine intervention for my earlier archery shame.


Rest, Recovery, and Ustengrav Awaits


With the vampire threat handled (for now), I rested at the inn and prepped for tomorrowโ€™s journey to Ustengrav. Hopefully no more spiders. Or at least fewer boots.

Customloper Diaries Day Three: Charcoal Maps, Rabbit Stew, and a Surprise Wolf Hug

Customloper Diaries โ€“ Day 3: Charcoal Maps, Rabbit Stew, and a Surprise Wolf Hug

Weather: Cold start, blizzard pockets, clearing skies

Loot Highlights: Memento cache supplies, birch saplings (for later), Paradise Meadows key, rabbit + fish dinner

Mood: Cocky โ†’ practical โ†’ โ€œwhy is that wolf sprinting?โ€

Missed Day 2? Read it here.  | 
What is Customloper?

Early Start, No Light, No Dignity

I wake up at an hour only owls respect. Rather than burn a match in Grey Motherโ€™s house, I feel my way to the door like a bargain-bin escape room contestant. After negotiating with every chair leg in Milton, I finally make it outside to a slate-blue morning and a bitey wind.

Holy Cache, Batman!

The church memento cache pays out: matches, food, and an energy drink. With the essentials secured, I hop between cars toward Milton Bridge, using charcoal to sketch the town like a freezing Bob Ross. The map fills in; my fingers disagree with the artistic direction.

Gun Dreams, Birch Realities

Confidence high, I angle for Paradise Meadows Farm in the faint hope of finding a rifle. Birds circling drag me off-trail toward a body that contributes precisely nothing to my survival except the reminder that I will absolutely chase birds every time.

Nearby I spot birch saplings. Cue a hopeful bow-crafting fantasyโ€ฆ promptly crushed when I re-remember itโ€™s maple I need. I leave the birch to cure anywayโ€”Future Me loves having options.

Bunny Catch, Farm Key, and Yes, Wolves Exist

One clean stone throw nets a rabbit. Moments laterโ€”bingoโ€”Paradise Meadows Farmhouse key. Also: my first wolf sighting of the run. So they do exist on Customloper; they were just waiting for dramatic timing.

Inside the farmhouse itโ€™s open-season on usefulness:

  • Wool long johns
  • A fish stashed in the freezer
  • A skillet lounging atop the fridge
  • Two more cooking pots (apparently I run a wilderness diner now)

Dinner Is Served

I harvest the rabbit, spot the recipe, and make rabbit stewโ€”with the freezer fish as a bonus course. Water boils, gear gets sorted, excess clothes hit the floor. Feeling very competent, I decide to haul the skillet back to Grey Motherโ€™s. This hubris will be important later.

Wolf Attack Outta Nowhere

Cutting back through Milton, I take one curious corner too many andโ€”bamโ€”wolf sprint. I backpedal for a door, take a hit, and tumble inside with the grace of a sack of sticks. Painkillers down, bandage on, dignity postponed.

I repair what I can until the fatigue meter taps out, then finish the day with rabbit stew and the kind of silence that says โ€œweโ€™ll try that route again tomorrowโ€ฆ smarter.โ€

End of Day 3.

Continue the Journey

โ—€ Customloper Diaries โ€“ Day 2: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion

Customloper Diaries โ€“ Day 4: Locked Trunks, Blizzards, and Pancake Promises โ–ถ

The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath โ€“ Day Two

Day Two of my Grounded Permadeath run. Panic still lingering, but Iโ€™ve secured food, water, armor, and narrowly avoided becoming ant food. Progress!

Missed day one and want to find out how this journey started? Find it here: The Backyard Trials Day One

Thirst, Hunger, and the Panic Begins Anew

I wake up to a familiar feeling: low-level dread. Iโ€™m hungry. Iโ€™m thirsty. I have very little idea what Iโ€™m doing. Survival in the backyard is a constant balancing act between problem-solving and quiet panic.

Thankfully, some form of insect-based miracle has occurred overnight. Thereโ€™s an aphid corpse conveniently placed right next to my lean-to. Did it explode? Was it eaten and discarded? I donโ€™t know โ€” but in my current state, itโ€™s dinner.

The thirst problem is less cooperative. Another ill-advised sip of dirty water reminds me that my standards need to rise if I want to avoid adding โ€œconstant food poisoningโ€ to my growing list of concerns.

Salvation in the Form of Dew

In the midst of my slight panic spiral, I spot a glimmer of hope: dew, perched high on a blade of grass. After some awkward jumping that likely looked ridiculous to any nearby insects, I manage to secure a drop of clean water. The panic dial lowers slightlyโ€ฆ but only slightly. I still canโ€™t carry any extra, so the problem is only delayed, not solved.

Workbench, Roasting Spit, and Progress (Sort Of)

Back at the science station, I start trying to piece my situation together. I craft a Workbench, which unlocks more options, including a Roasting Spit. Finally, I can cook meat instead of risking stomach-churning raw snacks. My diet now consists of roasted aphid and weevil. Itโ€™s not exactly fine dining, but Iโ€™m not dead โ€” which is honestly my only metric of success right now.

Clover Armor: The Fashion of Fear

With food and water temporarily under control, my brain returns to its default state: “Whatโ€™s going to kill me next?” The answer, probably, is โ€œeverything.โ€ So I decide to take the edge off by crafting Clover Armor โ€” a full set covering my head, chest, and legs.

It won’t stop anything truly dangerous, but it’s comforting. Like wearing a raincoat in a hurricane. It technically helps, but you wouldnโ€™t want to test it.

Early Combat Lessons (And More Panic)

Armed with a spear and new-found confidence (read: mild overconfidence), I pick a fight with an ant. It goes wellโ€ฆ until his buddy shows up. The fight escalates, I take some hits, apply a bandage, and add โ€œdon’t poke ants unless absolutely necessaryโ€ to my mental rulebook.

Later, while trying to understand how my hotbar works, I accidentally hurl my spear at a completely innocent patch of grass. At least I didnโ€™t spear myself. Small victories.

The Baseball, Tactical Retreats, and Nightfall

Before dark, I scout a little further and discover a giant baseball, which offers a perfect vantage point for surveying my surroundings. Unfortunately, I also nearly stumble into a fight with a soldier ant and two backup dancers. A brief surge of panic kicks in again, but I manage a tactical retreat before things get ugly.

Nighttime approaches. I may have a torch now, but Iโ€™m not insane enough to go wandering in the dark just yet. Panic management remains the most critical skill in my early days.

Wrapping Up Day Two

Day Two ends with clean water, cooked food, basic armor, and a strong undercurrent of low-level panic. Progress has been made, mistakes have been narrowly avoided, and tomorrow Iโ€™ll venture even further โ€” anxiety levels permitting.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Nine


Day 9 takes me from ancient tombs to icy swamps. I dodge frost magic in a wooden shack, fight a dragon on a mountain, and uncover a vampire plot in Morthal. Janessa doesnโ€™t make it.

Missed day eight? Find it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Eight



Draugr Light: Dustmanโ€™s Cairn (Not That One)

The plan for the day? A classic dungeon crawl through Dustmanโ€™s Cairn. The reality? I walked into what might have been the worldโ€™s most disappointing annex. One room. A handful of draugr. Zero dramatic ambushes. Either I wandered into the wrong entrance, or the rest of the dungeon had a day off.

I poked around for secret doors because this is Skyrim and you never know, but found nothing. Just cobwebs, bad lighting, and the distinct feeling that Todd Howard was laughing somewhere.

Loot? Forgettable. Mood? Slightly stabby.


Bear vs. Blade at Greenspring Hollow

Onwards to Greenspring Hollow. As expected, it came with the usual occupant: a bear with severe anger management issues. True to form, it attacked on sight and asked no questions.

A few solid strikes put the beast down. I looted what little there was and handed the haul to Janessaโ€”my trusted pack mule and silent partner in crime. I didnโ€™t realize at the time that this might be her final job.


Drelaโ€™s Cottage: Hospitality Denied

A bit further along, I stumbled across Drelaโ€™s Cottage. Hopeful for shelter or at least a warm fire, I stepped inside.

That was my mistake.

Without so much as a hello, Drela greeted me with frost magic to the face. Fortunately, this wasnโ€™t my first time dealing with homicidal wizards. I chugged a Resist Frost potion, ducked behind the suspiciously durable wooden pillar in the center of the room, and played peek-a-boo until Drela ran out of breathโ€”and life.

The loot was unimpressive, but I left with my body temperature (mostly) intact and my life expectancy extended for at least another few hours.


Goodbye Janessa, Hello Dragon

At this point, I decided to cut across the mountains instead of following the road. Direct lines are always faster in theoryโ€”less so when those lines involve climbing sheer cliffs in sub-zero weather.

Halfway up, the weather turned, and I heard the familiar sound of a dragon announcing its presence.

The battle was brutal. I managed to land the final blow, but at a terrible cost: Janessa was gone. Whether she was roasted or knocked off the mountain mid-fight, Iโ€™ll never know. There was no body, no dramatic final wordsโ€”just an empty follower slot and a heavy sense of loss.

RIP Janessa.
Overburdened. Underpaid. Better than most.


Welcome to Morthal: Population, Suspicious

I limped into Morthal alone. Freezing. Exhausted. Perfect conditions to stumble into a vampire conspiracy.

The innkeeper filled me in: rumors of bloodsuckers, a burned-down house, and strange happenings. The Jarl, apparently too busy to care, delegated the matter to me after some light investigative work revealed Alva wasnโ€™t quite as human as advertised.

Following a brief round of sleuthing, a confrontation, and the discovery of vampire tomfoolery, I returned to the Jarl. With the truth exposed, she finally took noticeโ€”and handed me a new assignment: eliminate the so-called Master Vampire controlling things from the shadows.

Because of course, thereโ€™s always a hierarchy.


End of Day Nine

No warmth. No Janessa. And now I’m tasked with taking out a vampire overlord while half my gear capacity disappeared along with my companion.

Classic Skyrim.


If you want to know more, please check out The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Survival Hub

The Cold Chronicles Day Seven: A Voyageur’s Tale of The Long Dark

The Cold Chronicles โ€“ Day 7: Dead Ends, Rifle Finds, and Aurora Skies

Difficulty: Voyageur
Optional Features: Cougar enabled (because paranoia keeps you alive)

Day 7 on Coastal Highway brings dead-end roads, beachcombing, Barbโ€™s rifle, and my first aurora. I almost fall through the ice (again), stash gear on Jackrabbit Island, and cook meat like a man possessed. Soโ€ฆ a productive day?

Missed Day 6? Read it here.

The Road That Goes Nowhere

Another sunrise, another overambitious plan. Today, I decide Iโ€™m going to follow Coastal Highway all the way to its mysterious conclusion. Maybe Iโ€™ll find a new transition zone. Maybe Iโ€™ll find a wrecked truck with some rifle rounds and a can of dog food. Maybe Iโ€™ll find peace.

Spoiler: itโ€™s a rockfall.

But I donโ€™t know that yet. I set out early, dragging my increasingly reluctant survivor across the snow. First stop: the bridge just beyond the garage. Itโ€™s held up surprisingly well for the end of civilization. On the far side, I spot a car, and inside itโ€”a note. Someone left a tip about a hidden cache near the garage. Tempting. Very tempting. But I decide to keep pushing forward for now. Eyes on the prize.

The road gets quieter. No wolves, no wind. Just snow crunching underfoot and the occasional groan from my guy whoโ€™s still mad about the 40kg backpack Iโ€™m making him haul. Eventually, the highway ends not with loot or glory, but a literal wall of boulders. No secret passage, no helpful signage. Just a dead end.

Rifles, Ice, and Intrusive Memories

With the highway goal dashed, I backtrack. But Iโ€™m not going to waste the day. I decide to poke around under the bridge I crossed earlierโ€”because thatโ€™s a normal survival instinct now. Good thing I do, too.

Tucked under the support beams, half-buried in snow, is Barbโ€™s rifle. No note, no explanation. Just the long-forgotten tool of someone else’s survival story. I take it, check the condition (not bad), and immediately feel 30% more powerful. Rifle > revolver. Every time.

Feeling cocky, I veer off the road and make my way across the ice toward Jackrabbit Island. The ice creaks and pops in that threatening way it always does, but I push forward, ignoring the very obvious signs that I am not welcome here. My screen does that โ€œyouโ€™re about to dieโ€ wobble. I shuffle back to solid ice just in time. Somehow, I donโ€™t fall in. Survival roulette wins again.

The Jackrabbit Hoard

I reach the house on Jackrabbit Island and decide to use it as a makeshift drop zone. I ditch the revolver, some food, a spare lantern, and whatever else I can live without. The rifle stays with me, obviously.

Loot-wise, Jackrabbit delivers. I find:

  • A skill book for rifles (Barb would be proud)
  • Another lantern (my thirdโ€”clearly I have a problem)
  • More food, because Coastal Highway is just one big buffet if you know where to look

My inventoryโ€™s still ridiculous, but a little lighter. Temporarily.

Seagulls and Sketchy Ice

On the way back, I decide to risk a little beachcombing. I hug the shoreline, watching for anything shiny poking out of the snowโ€”and get rewarded. A couple of arrows just sitting on the ice, half-frozen but perfectly usable. I swipe them up and head for Misanthrope Island.

As I get close, I see birds circling. That means one thing: a carcass. The ice between me and it looks about as stable as my guyโ€™s calorie intake, but I edge closer anyway. Itโ€™s a deer, still fresh. I manage to harvest the meat and pull back without falling in. That makes two ice victories today, which honestly feels greedy.

Inside the house on Misanthrope, I findโ€”surpriseโ€”more food and clothing. Nothing game-changing, but enough to keep the โ€œloot goblinโ€ part of my brain happy. I stow what I can, then head back toward the garage with a torch in hand in case wolves decide theyโ€™re hungry for man meat.

A Spark in the Static

Back at the garage, somethingโ€™s different. Thereโ€™s a glow. A hum. The computer whirs to life.

The aurora has arrived.

Itโ€™s my first one in this run, and itโ€™s just as eerie as I remember. The air crackles, the sky pulses green, and the electronicsโ€”dormant and useless for daysโ€”suddenly flicker back to life. Itโ€™s beautiful in a โ€œshould I be worried?โ€ sort of way.

I donโ€™t have time to dwell on it. Iโ€™ve got meat to cook, water to boil, and coffee to brew. Lots of coffee. My survivorโ€™s probably 80% caffeine at this point. I do my best diner cook impression, juggling pots and pans, and by the end of it the place smells like scorched venison and instant espresso. Not the worst way to end a day.

I eat what I can, dump the rest into storage, and crawl into bed. The aurora flickers through the window as I drift off.

Final Thoughts

Day 7 gave me a rifle, some arrows, a hidden cache hint, and a front-row seat to the aurora. Sure, I nearly fell through the ice twice and carried half my body weight in gear the whole way, but it was worth it.

Still alive. Still hoarding. Still hallucinating predators.

Continue the journey:
Day 6 |
Day 8

The Backyard Trials: Grounded Day One โ€“ Honey, I Lost Myself in the Backyard

Day One of my Grounded permadeath run. I wake up microscopic, clueless, and desperate for clean water. Let the backyard chaos begin.

The Day I Became Smaller Than an Ant (Not by Choice)

I wake up. I don’t know where I am, how I got here, or why everything around me is suddenly the size of skyscrapers. I’m not ant-sized. I’m smaller than an ant. That’s never a great start to the day. But if panic has taught me anything, it’s that panic can wait. First, I need to get my bearings.

Pebblets. Lots of pebblets. I grab a handful because even tiny rocks feel better than empty hands. As I cautiously scout my surroundings, I stumble across a strange science station. Naturally, I press every button that doesn’t scream “self-destruct.” Turns out, I can analyze items here. Good news.

Science and Sharp Objects

I analyze the pebblets and some plant fibers I’ve picked up. That unlocks some basic blueprints. More importantly, I can now craft an axe. Primitive, sure, but it’s better than yelling at bugs and hoping they go away.

Water quickly becomes a concern. I sip some nasty puddle water because desperate times, but I know I can’t rely on swamp juice forever. Clean water will need to become a priority.

The Big Machine and Mysterious Tapes

While wandering, I discover a massive machine, along with a tape left behind by someone who sounds a little too excited about being tiny. I hit the giant power button (as you do). Only two lasers fire properly. One’s blocked. Clearly, there’s a puzzle here, but it’s not my priority while I still have a growling stomach.

First Blood: The Weevil Incident

Food is now problem number one. Aphids sprint away from me like they’ve seen this horror movie before, so I craft a spear to even the odds. After confirming that yes, I can throw it, a weevil helpfully volunteers to be my first meal. The spear works. The weevil doesn’t.

A short time later, I find an aphid who wasn’t paying attention and deal with it too. I then stumble upon a patch of mushrooms. Crisis temporarily averted.

Lean-To and Level Ups

The game suggests building a lean-to. For once, I listen. A few quick chops and gathers later, I’ve got my shelter set up right next to the science station. I analyze my newly acquired bug remains, unlock more blueprints, and watch my brainpower level go up. Apparently scanning stuff makes you smarter.

As night falls, I set my respawn point (which, letโ€™s be honest, I probably wonโ€™t need in permadeath) and call it the end of Day One.

Survived the first day. No spiders yet. That counts as a win.

Current Status: Alive

Location: Science Station Lean-To

Major Achievements: Crafted axe and spear, discovered giant machine, avoided spider-related trauma.

Biggest Threat: The growing suspicion that things will only get worse.




Stay tuned for Day Two of The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath.

If you want more information on what this is, please check out: The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Eight

Missed the previous day? Find it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Seven


You Can’t Just Plant Cabbages & Hope For The Best

The day began innocently enough: me, a farmer. I planted crops. I surveyed my new property. I even admired the way the fence sort of stood up straight if you squinted.

Then came the harsh truth: someone needs to run the place. A steward, apparently. I considered Janessa. But Iโ€™ve seen what happens when I leave her behind โ€” bandits get braver, and I get deader. So the plantation gets to manage itself for now. Iโ€™ve got adventuring to do.

Rorikstead Road Trip & Unwanted Job Offers

headed west toward Rorikstead, thinking I might find a decent recruit or just a quiet village to loot โ€” I mean, explore.

Thatโ€™s when the courier found me. Another letter. This time from the Jarl of Falkreath, who has apparently heard great things about me. Which is wild, considering Iโ€™ve never been to Falkreath. Either heโ€™s got spies, or the Skyrim rumor mill is on fire.

The jarl wants to make me his thane. Which Iโ€™m sure is perfectly normal and not part of some elaborate trap.

Also in Rorikstead: the Alikโ€™r warriors from Whiterun were waiting to follow up on the Redguard woman situation. They asked me to lure her to the stables. Classic bait job. I agreed because gold.

Quest Cleanup, Sneaky Illnesses & Ambush Season

I polished off the โ€œWhile the Catโ€™s Awayโ€ questline and handed some newly found armor to Janessa, who continues to be my personal vault and bodyguard.

Then I realized I had ataxia, which explained why I suddenly couldnโ€™t pick locks to save my life. One quick sip of a cure disease potion, and we were back in business. No need for a healer when you carry your pharmacy.

On the road again, things took a turn. First East Empire guards ambushed me. Then bandits showed up, probably thinking I was weak from the first fight. Jokeโ€™s on them โ€” I was just angry.

I took a torch off one of the guards. Light is life out here. Especially when you’re a lizard.

Broken Fang Cave: Mistakes Were Made

For reasons even I donโ€™t understand, I went into Broken Fang Cave. It looked vampire-y, smelled vampire-y, and yes โ€” it was vampire-y.

Two of them. One was a master vampire, which seems overkill when the total staff is two. I barely made it out alive, with Janessa doing most of the heavy lifting. I now hate caves even more than I did yesterday.

Also: I lost my horse. Twice. I parked it near the cave, then it vanished. Reappeared later. Skyrim horses operate on pocket dimensions. I refuse to believe otherwise.

Whiterun Wrap-Up & Moral Ambiguity

Back in Whiterun, I sold off excess loot and completed the Redguard woman questline. Yes, I lured someone into a trap. No, I donโ€™t feel great about it. Yes, I took the 500 gold. We all have bills to pay.

That shouldโ€™ve been the end of the day. It wasnโ€™t

A Red Horse, A New Bond, & Horse Armor

On my way out of town again โ€” this time for Ustengrav and the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller โ€” I got distracted. Again. By a red horse. A wild one.

Naturally, I tamed it. Took it back to Whiterun. Named it Loki, because itโ€™s clearly a chaos beast in horse form. Gave it armor. Declared it mine.

Silent Moons Camp: I Finally Stealth Archer Properly

I made one last attempt to head toward Ustengrav, but Silent Moons Camp was too close to ignore. And finally โ€” finally โ€” I had a stealth archer moment worth writing about. I took down bandits without being spotted. Just arrows in the dark and confused grunts. Beautiful.

Found good loot. Gave it to Janessa. Called it a night.

What Actually Got Done Today

โ€ข Planted some vegetables

โ€ข Discovered I own a farm I donโ€™t want to manage

โ€ข Was scouted for a thaneship I didnโ€™t apply for

โ€ข Got ambushed โ€” repeatedly

โ€ข Became a vampire hunter (reluctantly)

โ€ข Caught a chaos horse named Loki

โ€ข Lived the stealth archer dream

โ€ข Delayed the Greybeards. Again.


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