Category: customloper

Customloper Diaries – Day 7: Bow Before the Blizzard

Customloper Diaries – Day 7: Bow Before the Blizzard

Weather: Clear start → freezing winds → blizzard
Loot Highlights: Survival Bow, cooking pot, skillet
Mood: Excited → frozen → grateful to still have toes

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 6: Blizzard Send-Off, Ptarmigan Detour, and the Great Cooking Pot Tragedy  | 
What is Customloper?

Morning Discoveries: Max’s Last Stand

Today’s goal was simple: reach the Camp Office without becoming a wolf’s breakfast. That’s really the only bar for success these days. On the way, I spotted one of The Long Dark’s most reliable signals that something is worth investigating: birds circling in the sky, waiting patiently for either my demise or someone else’s.

Luck was on my side for once — it wasn’t my turn. At Max’s Last Stand, a corpse lay frozen in place, and right beside it sat the holy grail of early-game weaponry: a Survival Bow. I snatched it up with the speed and enthusiasm of a raccoon finding a half-eaten cheeseburger.

All I needed now were arrows. With them, I could finally graduate from “rock-throwing medieval PE teacher” to “slightly competent hunter.”

Deadfall + Hypothermia = Great Life Choices

Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I decided to swing by the Deadfall area. That’s when my overconfidence caught up with me. The temperature dropped faster than my optimism during an Interloper run, and I was soon staring at the dreaded red text: Hypothermia.

I lit a fire in the nearby stove, boiled some water, and cooked… something. I’d like to say it was a hearty stew, but given my supplies, it was probably just porridge or whatever counted as “hot food” in my pack. Once I had a bit of warmth and hydration, I grabbed a torch from the fire and pressed on toward my main goal.

Lesson learned: Interloper weather waits for no one, especially those who think they can “just pop over” somewhere.

Camp Office and Instant Regret

The rest of the walk to Camp Office was blissfully uneventful — a rare thing in Mystery Lake. Inside, I scored a skillet and cooking pot. Not exactly a rifle or a quiver of arrows, but after yesterday’s cooking pot debacle, I wasn’t about to complain.

Then I made the fatal mistake: I decided to “just explore the area” before settling in. First came the snow. Then came the blizzard. In minutes, visibility dropped to “guess and hope” territory. Navigation became a mix of scent, instinct, and blind luck.

Somehow — and I truly do not know how — I managed to stagger back to the Camp Office without being eaten, freezing to death, or wandering onto thin ice. The blizzard roared outside as I slammed the door shut, my heart still hammering.

Evening Wrap-Up

Back inside, I set about cooking more porridge, boiling as much water as I could, and letting my core temperature crawl back to something survivable. The bow was now mine. The arrows? Still a distant dream. But tomorrow, I’d change that.

Tomorrow’s Goal

Find arrows. Or a rifle. Or, failing that, a pointy stick and a really bad attitude.

Continue the Journey

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 6: Blizzard Send-Off, Ptarmigan Detour, and the Great Cooking Pot Tragedy
Customloper Diaries – Day 8 ▶

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Customloper Diaries – Day 6: Blizzard Send-Off, Ptarmigan Detour, and the Great Cooking Pot Tragedy

Customloper Diaries – Day 6: Blizzard Send-Off, Ptarmigan Detour, and the Great Cooking Pot Tragedy

Weather: Blizzard → calm → chilly dusk
Loot Highlights: Maple syrup, ptarmigan, teas
Mood: Mildly triumphant, then deeply betrayed by my own memory

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 5: Moose Standoff, Bullet Disappointment, and Frostbite Gordon Ramsay  | 
What is Customloper?

Mountain Town Farewell Tour

The plan was simple: head for Mystery Lake. Naturally, The Long Dark decided my departure needed to be as unpleasant as possible. I stepped outside, full of optimism and travel plans… straight into a wall of snow. The blizzard hit so hard I half-expected the wind to demand my boarding pass.

Not keen on becoming a frozen cautionary tale before I even left Milton, I retreated back inside. While the storm roared outside, I repaired my climbing socks — because if I’m going to dangle from a rope over a death drop, my feet should at least be comfortable.

When the snowstorm finally lost interest in my destruction, I made a quick supply drop at my blizzard cache in Milton Park: food, flares, and a little hope for future me. If my track record says anything, future me will absolutely need them.

En route, I spotted a couple of ptarmigans. One made a clean getaway, but the second wasn’t so lucky — a quick stun and scoop secured dinner. My frame rate then staged its own protest against survival, solved with the ancient ritual of a one-hour nap and a full restart.

A Quick Rope-Climbing PSA

For anyone following along at home:
1. Over your carry weight? You’re not climbing.
2. Too tired? You won’t make it far before the rope wins.
3. Both? Prepare for a long fall and a high hospital bill (if hospitals still existed).

The climb up was almost suspiciously smooth. No wolves lurking at the bottom, no moose guarding the top. Just crisp air, creaking rope, and the growing certainty that something unpleasant was saving itself for later.

At the top, my guy was winded but not dying — a personal best. It was a short slog to the transition cave, where I took one last look at Mountain Town and stepped into the dark unknown.

Cave Navigation Pro Tip

Pick a wall — left or right — and stick to it the entire way. You’ll either find the exit or discover you’ve been walking in circles for hours. Either way, you’ll feel like a pro.

The cave was mercifully straightforward. I found a pre-built campfire setup and used it as an excuse for a much-needed coffee break. The simple act of brewing coffee pushed my Cooking skill to Level 2: Novice — still a long way from “Chef,” but I’ll take it.

With caffeine restored, I pressed on until daylight spilled through the cave mouth. Welcome to Mystery Lake.

Mystery Lake: The Training Wheels Region (With Wolves)

The Hunt for a Rifle… and a Cooking Pot

The sun was already sliding toward the horizon, so I aimed straight for Trapper’s Cabin. First thing I checked: the rifle rack. Empty. The loot gods remain cruel.

The safe offered a small consolation prize in the form of maple syrup — proof that at least one deity in this frozen world still cares about my morale.

Finally, I harvested the ptarmigan… and immediately remembered that every single one of my cooking pots was still back in Milton. All of them. My dreams of a hearty stew crumbled faster than my willpower in a wolf chase.

Instead, I brewed a round of reishi and rose hip teas, boiled water, and contemplated the life choices that had brought me to “hot leaf juice” as my primary meal. The only upside? I now have a reason to return to Milton, assuming I survive long enough.

Day 6 Summary

  • Location: Mountain Town → Mystery Lake
  • Finds: Maple syrup, ptarmigan
  • Wildlife Watch: Ptarmigan spotted and secured
  • Conditions: Blizzard start, calm finish
  • Status: Alive, caffeinated, cookware-less

Continue the Journey

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 5: Moose Standoff, Bullet Disappointment, and Frostbite Gordon Ramsay
Customloper Diaries – Day 7 ▶

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Here’s What You Missed This Week on Survivor Incognito – Crashes, Farewells, and Frozen Toes

Another week of survival stories has wrapped up over at Survivor Incognito, and here’s what went live:

  • 🌴 Tuesday: Sunburnt & Sinking – Stranded Deep: Day One. A plane crash, some aggressive crabs, and the beginning of another deeply questionable survival journey.
  • ❄️ Wednesday: Customloper Diaries – Day Five. Moose encounters, torchlit panic, and the continuing battle to not freeze to death in The Long Dark.
  • 🦎 Thursday: Goodnight, Sweet Lizard – A heartfelt (and mildly roasted) farewell to my first Skyrim survivor. Gone, but not forgotten. Or fully thawed.
  • 🚚 Friday: SnowRunner Survival – Day Three. I made it to the top of a mountain. That was the easy part. Getting down? That’s Future Me’s problem.
  • 🛤️ Saturday: Day One Diary – Choo Choo Charles. A train with spider legs, eggs with suspicious importance, and absolutely no time to process anything.

🧭 We also updated the Start Here page with better guidance for new readers and easier access to key blog content.

It’s been a week of rough starts, fond farewells, and terrain I was never meant to cross — just how we like it.

Next week: the official start of the Subnautica permadeath run, a bit more trucking, and probably something trying to kill me with a leaf. Stay tuned.

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Customloper Diaries Day Five: Moose-terious Happenings

Customloper Diaries – Day 5: Moose Standoff, Bullet Disappointment, and Frostbite Gordon Ramsay

Weather: Overcast → blizzard remnants → cold, tense calm
Loot Highlights: 32 revolver bullets (without the revolver), coffee, stew ingredients
Mood: Caffeine-fueled paranoia

◀ Missed Day 4? Read it here  | 
What is Customloper?

Moose-terious Happenings and Bullet Mockery

I wake up cold, hypothermic, and shivering in a shelter that feels like it’s holding back winter by sheer stubbornness. Outside, the air is still heavy with yesterday’s storm. I light a torch—not for light, but for morale—and step outside to grab sticks for a fire.

That’s when I hear it. A low, deliberate snort. Snow crunching under something big. My brain takes about two seconds to put it together: the Moose is still here. Still patrolling. Still grumpy. All I’ve got is a flare gun, three flares, and zero confidence this will be anything but moose-poking practice.

Later research confirmed flare guns actually can scare or even injure moose. At the time, though, I pictured wasting all three shots and ending up as hoof-print art in the snow.

Sidebar: Flare Guns vs Wildlife

  • Wolves: Scared of everything, including your hesitation. Flare gun = instant retreat.
  • Bears: Works if you’re quick and accurate. Miss, and you’ve just upgraded it to “angry bear.”
  • Moose: Vulnerable, but charging moose leave little margin for error. Pray your aim is better than your panic management.

Fire, Coffee, and False Confidence

I retreat inside, break down a couple of stools, and get a fire going. Coffee brews while my temperature climbs from “freezer aisle” to “slightly uncomfortable.” Caffeine courage in place, I decide to make another break for it.

I crack the door. Two cautious steps outside—then I hear it again. This time I actually see the moose, casually stomping away from me like it owns the place. Which, frankly, it does.

I seize the chance to sneak toward the picnic area, hoping I’ll finally find a revolver or rifle. Spoiler: no. Just more snow, more silence, and the nagging sense I’m on borrowed time.

Panic Sprint to Orca

Plan B forms in my head: head to Orca Gas Station and regroup. The snow crunches under my boots, the wind whistles between the trees—and then I hear a noise behind me. Could be the wind. Could be antlers. I don’t check. I just run. Full panic sprint, torch flaring wildly, straight to Orca’s door.

Inside, adrenaline still in overdrive, I make a silent vow: if I live through this, I’ll cook everything I can get my hands on. Meals will be my legacy.

Bullets Without a Gun

The walk back to Grey Mother’s is uneventful, which feels like winning the lottery. I throw myself into cooking: rabbit stew, venison stew, boiling water—anything to nudge my Cooking skill higher. Somewhere in the process, I drop off 32 revolver bullets into storage. The universe clearly thinks this is funny.

Three separate attempts to repair my climbing socks all fail. Morale drops. I sweep Grey Mother’s house again just in case a revolver is hiding in the corner. It’s not.

I end the day reading a book to boost my harvesting skill, the flickering lantern light casting long shadows. Outside, the moose is probably still wandering. Inside, I’m still stubborn, still alive, still armed with only a flare gun and misplaced optimism.

Day 5 Summary

  • Location: Milton Region
  • Finds: 32 revolver bullets, coffee, stew ingredients
  • Wildlife Watch: Persistent moose
  • Conditions: Cold and tense
  • Status: Warm, fed, moose-adjacent

Continue the Journey

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 4: Prybars, Pancake Plans, and the Blizzard Lock-In
Customloper Diaries – Day 6 ▶

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Here’s What You Missed – Week of July 15th

Another week, another batch of survival stories wrapped in chaos and questionable decisions. Here’s what went down on Survivor Incognito this week:

  • Tuesday: Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival – Final Entry
  • Wednesday: The Cold Chronicles (Customloper) – Day Four
  • Thursday: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat – Day Twelve
  • Friday: SnowRunner Survival: The Permagear Diaries – Day One

That’s one series wrapped, one launched, and two still going strong.

Also, a quick thank you — last week the blog saw nearly 200 views. Whether you read one post or all of them, I appreciate you surviving alongside me (or at least watching me not survive).

On another note, the next few weeks are going to be busy for me. But I’ll do my best to keep the chaos here going

More mayhem next week.

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Customloper Diaries Day Four: Locked Trunks, Blizzards, and Pancake Promises

Customloper Diaries – Day 4: Prybars, Pancake Plans, and the Blizzard Lock-In

Weather: Clear morning, moose-level tension, full blizzard finale
Loot Highlights: Prybar, Storm Lantern, memento cache hint, acorns
Mood: Energised → cautious → “nope, not stepping outside”

Missed Day 3? Read it here.  | 
What is Customloper?

Moose Tracks and Memory Trunks

Morning at Paradise Meadows Farm is deceptively calm—blue skies, crisp air, and the kind of silence that makes you think “safe.” Which, as I’ve learned, is usually the universe setting you up for trouble. My goal is simple: get back to Grey Mother’s without freezing, starving, or becoming wildlife entertainment.

Before I even make it to the main road, I spot circling birds. If you’ve read my blog before, you know this usually means a corpse. And corpses mean loot. Sure enough, today’s offering is a prybar lying beside the unlucky owner. I take a respectful moment—then take the prybar. Survival first, sentiment later.

Milton’s Got Loot

With my new tool in hand, I march into Milton like a one-person locksmith service. Every locked trunk and locker I’d previously ignored is now fair game. The results? A couple of sodas, some gloves, and various odds and ends. Not exactly jackpot material, but the sense of clearing my “to-open” list is its own reward.

My real prize comes at Orca Gas Station. Perched on top of a ladder, basking in the weak winter sunlight, is a Storm Lantern. I’d have climbed Mount Timberwolf itself for this. It’s not just light—it’s morale. No more groping around in the dark like an amateur escape artist.

Signs in the Snow

Lantern in my pack, I head toward Milton Park. That’s when I see it—moose rubbings etched into a tree. My mood shifts instantly from “pleasant stroll” to “scan every shadow for large, angry silhouettes.” I haven’t actually seen a moose yet this run, but I’m not eager to test my odds.

Nearby, I gather acorns. They’re a small thing, but they bring me one step closer to Lily’s Pancakes—my long-term culinary goal. The catch? I still need Cooking Level 4. Which means at least seventy cups of tea, or possibly cooking every edible thing on the island. Twice.

Before heading out, I also find a memento cache hint. A promise of future loot, assuming I make it that far. If past runs are anything to go by, the odds are… let’s call them “variable.”

Blizzard Becomes the Boss Fight

By the time I start for my shelter, the snow is falling thicker. A few minutes later, I’m in the middle of a full blizzard. Visibility drops to “couldn’t find your own footprints,” and the wind is howling like it’s trying to blow the entire town off the map. Somewhere out there, I think I hear movement—could be a wolf, could be my imagination. Either way, the door stays closed.

Inside, I get a fire going, boil water, and cook whatever’s left in my pack. The mattress here is old, musty, and about as supportive as a wet paper bag, but compared to freezing to death, it’s luxury. Outside, the storm rages. Inside, I’m dry, warm, and in possession of a prybar, a storm lantern, and a future pancake dream. Could be worse.

Day 4 Summary

  • Location: Milton Region
  • Finds: Prybar, Storm Lantern, memento cache hint, acorns
  • Wildlife Watch: Potential moose spawn
  • Conditions: Blizzard-bound
  • Status: Warm, fed, slightly paranoid—but alive

Continue the Journey

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 3: Charcoal Maps, Rabbit Stew, and a Surprise Wolf Hug
Customloper Diaries – Day 5 ▶

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Here’s What You Missed This Week – Survivor Incognito Recap

A look back at the survival chaos from this week on Survivor Incognito: from haunted seas and freezing wilderness to dino disasters and exploding oaks.

It’s been a week full of questionable decisions, close calls, and new beginnings here at Survivor Incognito. In case you missed any of the madness, here’s your survival cheat sheet!

🌊 Tuesday – Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival – Day Five

The search for one stubborn fish continued, along with a steady descent into darkness and dread.

🐇 Wednesday – Customloper Diaries Day Three

Charcoal maps, rabbit stew, and a sudden storm — because survival in The Long Dark is never boring.

🗺️ Wednesday – Behind the Blog: ARK Map Page Expansion

A behind-the-scenes update! I’m working on expanding the ARK Survival Evolved map page to cover all Switch maps. All the regions, all the doom.

🏹 Thursday – Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival – Day Ten

Vampires, arrows, and highly questionable footwear choices. My Argonian had quite the day.

🐜 Friday – The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath – Day Three

The lasers were fixed, the oak tree exploded (as it does), and the backyard remains terrifying.

🦖 Saturday – ARK: Aberration – Day One Diary

Punching trees, hallucinating plants, and being reminded why Aberration is not the friendliest place to spawn.

What’s Next?

More chaos, more permadeath, and maybe even a few victories (no promises). Stay tuned!

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Customloper Diaries Day Three: Charcoal Maps, Rabbit Stew, and a Surprise Wolf Hug

Customloper Diaries – Day 3: Charcoal Maps, Rabbit Stew, and a Surprise Wolf Hug

Weather: Cold start, blizzard pockets, clearing skies

Loot Highlights: Memento cache supplies, birch saplings (for later), Paradise Meadows key, rabbit + fish dinner

Mood: Cocky → practical → “why is that wolf sprinting?”

Missed Day 2? Read it here.  | 
What is Customloper?

Early Start, No Light, No Dignity

I wake up at an hour only owls respect. Rather than burn a match in Grey Mother’s house, I feel my way to the door like a bargain-bin escape room contestant. After negotiating with every chair leg in Milton, I finally make it outside to a slate-blue morning and a bitey wind.

Holy Cache, Batman!

The church memento cache pays out: matches, food, and an energy drink. With the essentials secured, I hop between cars toward Milton Bridge, using charcoal to sketch the town like a freezing Bob Ross. The map fills in; my fingers disagree with the artistic direction.

Gun Dreams, Birch Realities

Confidence high, I angle for Paradise Meadows Farm in the faint hope of finding a rifle. Birds circling drag me off-trail toward a body that contributes precisely nothing to my survival except the reminder that I will absolutely chase birds every time.

Nearby I spot birch saplings. Cue a hopeful bow-crafting fantasy… promptly crushed when I re-remember it’s maple I need. I leave the birch to cure anyway—Future Me loves having options.

Bunny Catch, Farm Key, and Yes, Wolves Exist

One clean stone throw nets a rabbit. Moments later—bingo—Paradise Meadows Farmhouse key. Also: my first wolf sighting of the run. So they do exist on Customloper; they were just waiting for dramatic timing.

Inside the farmhouse it’s open-season on usefulness:

  • Wool long johns
  • A fish stashed in the freezer
  • A skillet lounging atop the fridge
  • Two more cooking pots (apparently I run a wilderness diner now)

Dinner Is Served

I harvest the rabbit, spot the recipe, and make rabbit stew—with the freezer fish as a bonus course. Water boils, gear gets sorted, excess clothes hit the floor. Feeling very competent, I decide to haul the skillet back to Grey Mother’s. This hubris will be important later.

Wolf Attack Outta Nowhere

Cutting back through Milton, I take one curious corner too many and—bam—wolf sprint. I backpedal for a door, take a hit, and tumble inside with the grace of a sack of sticks. Painkillers down, bandage on, dignity postponed.

I repair what I can until the fatigue meter taps out, then finish the day with rabbit stew and the kind of silence that says “we’ll try that route again tomorrow… smarter.”

End of Day 3.

Continue the Journey

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 2: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion

Customloper Diaries – Day 4: Locked Trunks, Blizzards, and Pancake Promises ▶

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🎉 500 Views of Portable Chaos – Thank You for Stopping By!

Survivor Incognito has crossed 500 views! A huge thank you to everyone who’s joined the portable survival chaos. Here’s to more maps, more diaries, and probably more regrettable decisions.

57 Days. 500 Views. And At Least That Many Bad Spear Throws.

Somehow, this little survival corner of the internet has crossed 500 views—and I want to say a huge thank you to everyone who’s visited, clicked, or accidentally found the blog while looking for something else entirely. (Hey, I’ll take it.)

When I started Survivor Incognito 57 days ago, it was just a space to share:

Survival game stories (usually featuring questionable decisions)

Maps and guides (so you don’t get lost like I do)

And a lot of Switch-based chaos


Fast forward to today, and I’m genuinely thrilled that over 500 views’ worth of folks have joined in. Whether you came for ARK maps, The Long Dark Customloper settings, Skyrim survival mishaps, or just to watch the chaos unfold—thank you.

🚀 What’s Next?

The chaos continues:

The Day One Diaries: ARK Edition is launching soon, filling the weekend gaps with fresh prehistoric panic.

The map pages and hubs will keep growing as I explore (and inevitably die in) new places.

More survival stories, more bad ideas, and probably more pinecone tea. Expect more information soon.

🧭 Thanks for Joining the Journey

I’m just getting started. If you’ve enjoyed the blog so far: ➡ Bookmark the site
➡ Share it with fellow Switch survival fans
➡ Or just stick around for the next 500 views of portable disaster.

Here’s to the next milestone—and to thriving, not just surviving.

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🧭 Weekly Recap – Survive, Sleep, Repeat

Catch up on the latest survival stories from Survivor Incognito, including permadeath tips, The Long Dark’s Customloper progress, Skyrim Survival struggles, and our chaotic first steps in Grounded. Your weekly roundup of cozy chaos and portable panic is here!

Monday:

💀 How I Handle Permadeath (And Still Sleep at Night)
I laid out my personal rules for permadeath, how I cope when a character dies a stupid death (usually of my own doing), and why it somehow keeps me coming back for more. Survival tip: Sleep helps. So does sarcasm.

Read it here: How I Handle Permadeath (and Still Sleep at Night)

Tuesday

📜 Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival – Day Three
We went further out to sea, saw things we probably shouldn’t have, and learned that fish aren’t the only things lurking in the dark. Spoiler: sanity is overrated.

Read it here: Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival – Day Three

Wednesday

🏔 Customloper – Day Two
Mountain Town continues to be less “cosy alpine retreat” and more “conveniently located death trap.” At least we are still in one piece. Mostly.

Read it here: Customloper Diaries Day Two: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion

Thursday

🗡 Skyrim Survival – Day Eight
Frostbite, bandits, and the general annoyance of being overencumbered after picking up one too many cabbages. Classic Skyrim survival energy.

Read it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat Day Eight

Friday:

🏡 Grounded – Day One
Honey, I Shrunk the Panic. First day in the backyard brought bugs, dehydration, and a steep learning curve. That aphid had it coming.

Read it here: The Backyard Trials: Grounded Day One – Honey, I Lost Myself in the Backyard

Coming next week:

🧊 More Long Dark, more Dark Waters, more Skyrim, and a deeper dive into the backyard horrors of Grounded. If we’re lucky, there may even be fireflies. If not, probably just death by thirst.

I’ll also hopefully have the Day One Diary for Don’t Starve up. And will explain the the rules for Snowrunner Survival. But these are both hopefully as I’m currently under the weather at the time of this going up. Thank goodness for being able to schedule posts though.

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