Goodnight, Sweet Lizard: A Farewell to My First Skyrim Survivor

After 13 in-game days of sneak attacks, harsh weather, and a deeply unfortunate troll encounter, my Argonian Skyrim survivor meets his end. This is his legacy โ€” and a lesson in knowing when not to go into caves.

Read his full journey here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival


In Loving Memory of One Very Cold, Reluctantly Landed Argonian

He was cold-blooded. He was quiet. He preferred to solve most problems from the shadows with a well-placed arrow โ€” because melee is for people with frostbite and regrets.

And yet, after surviving everything Skyrim threw at him, it wasnโ€™t bandits, dragons, or starvation that claimed him. It was two angry trolls and one very bad decision to poke around in Darkshade Cave.


The Life of a Lizard Who Tried His Best

This wasnโ€™t just another survivor.
This was a stealth archer, which is to say: a Skyrim classic.
He lived by the code of โ€œsnipe first, loot later, probably run if it doesnโ€™t work.โ€

In just under two weeks, he:

Escaped Helgen

Lost Lydia

Hired and lost a mercenary

Earned Goldenhills Plantation the way every true adventurer dreams of: by completing a creepy quest and forgetting to farm anything afterwards

Rescued a horse he named Loki, who became the real MVP of the run

Became a part-time necromancer, part-time landowner, and full-time weather complaint generator

Climbed the 7,000 Steps in survival mode without dying of frostbite. Which is frankly a flex.


He even tried to get back to Riverwood like a responsible protagonist.

And then he saw a cave.


Final Moments: The Troll Toll

It started with a stop in Windhelm to offload loot and maybe warm up.
Then came the cave โ€” just a quick look inside, a moment of curiosity.

The first troll nearly killed him.
He chugged potions like they were mead.
The second troll hit harder.
Somewhere in the middle, Gutworm joined the party.

And that was it.

No shouts. No slow-motion kill cam. Just two trolls and a regrettable sense of exploration.


What Weโ€™ve Learned

If there are bones outside a cave, leave them and the cave alone.

Gutworm is not an edgy band name โ€” itโ€™s a problem.

Owning property does not make you immune to stupid decisions.

Trolls are not โ€œstarter enemies.โ€

And stealth archery cannot save you if you’re cornered with no exit and 12% stamina.


Final Thoughts

He never had a name. But he had a farm, a horse, and a bow.

He stood on mountaintops. He summoned undead to do his dirty work.
He shot first, looted later, and almost made it to two weeks.

And then he did what every Skyrim player eventually does:
He got Skyrimโ€™d by a cave.

Rest in peace, my scaly shadow-dweller. You tried. And in Skyrim Survival Mode, thatโ€™s more than enough.

And like they always say, I don’t know who they are, but they do: Finish on a song

Eulogy: The Backyard Wins This Round!

She never asked for this.
She never wanted to be shrunk down and tossed into a backyard where everything โ€” ants, mites, bees, spiders, the wind โ€” wanted her dead.
She just wanted to craft a lean-to, maybe roast some gnat meat, and figure out why the grass was taller than a skyscraper.

But she was brave.
She fixed lasers. She investigated an oak tree that promptly exploded.
She learned to fear the sounds of tiny feet in the grass.
She fought valiantly with spears, fists, and panic as her most reliable tools.

In the end, it was the bugs that got her. As they always do.
Not the spiders, no โ€” that wouldโ€™ve at least made sense.
No, her end came via something smaller. Meaner. Possibly several somethings.
The logs are unclear. The screaming was not.

She will be remembered for her resilience, her questionable armor choices, and her ability to stay alive just long enough for things to get interesting.

Rest in pieces, Backyard Explorer.
You were small, but your chaos was mighty.

Read their tale here: The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath

Here’s What You Missed This Week โ€“ Permadeath and Prybars

Survival, strategy, and a fair bit of falling into things.

Itโ€™s been another chaotic but oddly satisfying week at Survivor Incognito, where the snow is endless, the bandits are clingy, and my survival strategy often involves โ€œrun first, question everything later.โ€ Here’s what dropped this week:

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Day 3

A High Elf ambush kicked off the day, because Skyrim doesnโ€™t believe in subtlety. Our Dragonborn-in-training wandered into Whiterun with no torch, accidentally handed in a quest theyโ€™d already completed, became Thane, fought a dragon, and looted half the cityโ€™s cheese stockpileโ€”all without a working flashlight.
Read the chaos here:
Day 3 โ€“ Whiterun Welcomes Me

The Cold Chronicles – Day 4

Our Voyageur finally escaped Crumbling Highway, stepping into Coastal Highway only to meet gale-force winds, a casual bear, and wolves with a personal vendetta. Despite blizzards and a questionable cliff descent, they found shelter, loot, and just so many prybars.
Read it here:
Day 4 โ€“ A Voyageurโ€™s Tale of The Long Dark

New Pages Launched

The Graveyard

Where runs go when theyโ€™ve goneโ€ฆ poorly. From unexpected wolf attacks to permadeath pratfalls, this page memorializes your greatest โ€œoops.โ€
Visit The Graveyard

Rules of Survival

A breakdown of how I play survival games on the blog: permadeath is non-negotiable, no cheats, no take-backs, no mercy. Also includes series-specific rules for The Long Dark, Skyrim, and No Manโ€™s Sky.
Read the Rules

Customloper Settings

Tired of Interloper crushing your soul but still want a challenge? Enter: Customloperโ€”Interloper weather with settings that donโ€™t make you cry into your bedroll. Full settings list, and a FAQ included.
See the Settings

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