After 13 in-game days of sneak attacks, harsh weather, and a deeply unfortunate troll encounter, my Argonian Skyrim survivor meets his end. This is his legacy — and a lesson in knowing when not to go into caves.
Read his full journey here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival
In Loving Memory of One Very Cold, Reluctantly Landed Argonian
He was cold-blooded. He was quiet. He preferred to solve most problems from the shadows with a well-placed arrow — because melee is for people with frostbite and regrets.
And yet, after surviving everything Skyrim threw at him, it wasn’t bandits, dragons, or starvation that claimed him. It was two angry trolls and one very bad decision to poke around in Darkshade Cave.
The Life of a Lizard Who Tried His Best
This wasn’t just another survivor.
This was a stealth archer, which is to say: a Skyrim classic.
He lived by the code of “snipe first, loot later, probably run if it doesn’t work.”
In just under two weeks, he:
Escaped Helgen
Lost Lydia
Hired and lost a mercenary
Earned Goldenhills Plantation the way every true adventurer dreams of: by completing a creepy quest and forgetting to farm anything afterwards
Rescued a horse he named Loki, who became the real MVP of the run
Became a part-time necromancer, part-time landowner, and full-time weather complaint generator
Climbed the 7,000 Steps in survival mode without dying of frostbite. Which is frankly a flex.
He even tried to get back to Riverwood like a responsible protagonist.
And then he saw a cave.
Final Moments: The Troll Toll
It started with a stop in Windhelm to offload loot and maybe warm up.
Then came the cave — just a quick look inside, a moment of curiosity.
The first troll nearly killed him.
He chugged potions like they were mead.
The second troll hit harder.
Somewhere in the middle, Gutworm joined the party.
And that was it.
No shouts. No slow-motion kill cam. Just two trolls and a regrettable sense of exploration.
What We’ve Learned
If there are bones outside a cave, leave them and the cave alone.
Gutworm is not an edgy band name — it’s a problem.
Owning property does not make you immune to stupid decisions.
Trolls are not “starter enemies.”
And stealth archery cannot save you if you’re cornered with no exit and 12% stamina.
Final Thoughts
He never had a name. But he had a farm, a horse, and a bow.
He stood on mountaintops. He summoned undead to do his dirty work.
He shot first, looted later, and almost made it to two weeks.
And then he did what every Skyrim player eventually does:
He got Skyrim’d by a cave.
Rest in peace, my scaly shadow-dweller. You tried. And in Skyrim Survival Mode, that’s more than enough.
And like they always say, I don’t know who they are, but they do: Finish on a song
Survivor Incognito 