Tag: survival blog

Quick Campfire Update

Life rolled a natural 1 on me recently, so a few things behind the scenes went sideways. Nothing I’m getting into here, but let’s just say the last couple of weeks have been… a mood.

Because of that, you might have seen some series haven’t been getting entries. This is because some series are getting a short pause. I’m not shelving anything — just conserving energy and picking the things I can actually handle without setting myself on fire in the process.

For now, the Mario 64 Randomizer stays active, because jumping into chaos with a plumber is about the level of brain power I have. The bigger, heavier series will return once real life stops speed-running me.

Thanks for sticking around while I respawn a bit.

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Customloper Diaries – Day 6: Blizzard Send-Off, Ptarmigan Detour, and the Great Cooking Pot Tragedy

Customloper Diaries – Day 6: Blizzard Send-Off, Ptarmigan Detour, and the Great Cooking Pot Tragedy

Weather: Blizzard → calm → chilly dusk
Loot Highlights: Maple syrup, ptarmigan, teas
Mood: Mildly triumphant, then deeply betrayed by my own memory

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 5: Moose Standoff, Bullet Disappointment, and Frostbite Gordon Ramsay  | 
What is Customloper?

Mountain Town Farewell Tour

The plan was simple: head for Mystery Lake. Naturally, The Long Dark decided my departure needed to be as unpleasant as possible. I stepped outside, full of optimism and travel plans… straight into a wall of snow. The blizzard hit so hard I half-expected the wind to demand my boarding pass.

Not keen on becoming a frozen cautionary tale before I even left Milton, I retreated back inside. While the storm roared outside, I repaired my climbing socks — because if I’m going to dangle from a rope over a death drop, my feet should at least be comfortable.

When the snowstorm finally lost interest in my destruction, I made a quick supply drop at my blizzard cache in Milton Park: food, flares, and a little hope for future me. If my track record says anything, future me will absolutely need them.

En route, I spotted a couple of ptarmigans. One made a clean getaway, but the second wasn’t so lucky — a quick stun and scoop secured dinner. My frame rate then staged its own protest against survival, solved with the ancient ritual of a one-hour nap and a full restart.

A Quick Rope-Climbing PSA

For anyone following along at home:
1. Over your carry weight? You’re not climbing.
2. Too tired? You won’t make it far before the rope wins.
3. Both? Prepare for a long fall and a high hospital bill (if hospitals still existed).

The climb up was almost suspiciously smooth. No wolves lurking at the bottom, no moose guarding the top. Just crisp air, creaking rope, and the growing certainty that something unpleasant was saving itself for later.

At the top, my guy was winded but not dying — a personal best. It was a short slog to the transition cave, where I took one last look at Mountain Town and stepped into the dark unknown.

Cave Navigation Pro Tip

Pick a wall — left or right — and stick to it the entire way. You’ll either find the exit or discover you’ve been walking in circles for hours. Either way, you’ll feel like a pro.

The cave was mercifully straightforward. I found a pre-built campfire setup and used it as an excuse for a much-needed coffee break. The simple act of brewing coffee pushed my Cooking skill to Level 2: Novice — still a long way from “Chef,” but I’ll take it.

With caffeine restored, I pressed on until daylight spilled through the cave mouth. Welcome to Mystery Lake.

Mystery Lake: The Training Wheels Region (With Wolves)

The Hunt for a Rifle… and a Cooking Pot

The sun was already sliding toward the horizon, so I aimed straight for Trapper’s Cabin. First thing I checked: the rifle rack. Empty. The loot gods remain cruel.

The safe offered a small consolation prize in the form of maple syrup — proof that at least one deity in this frozen world still cares about my morale.

Finally, I harvested the ptarmigan… and immediately remembered that every single one of my cooking pots was still back in Milton. All of them. My dreams of a hearty stew crumbled faster than my willpower in a wolf chase.

Instead, I brewed a round of reishi and rose hip teas, boiled water, and contemplated the life choices that had brought me to “hot leaf juice” as my primary meal. The only upside? I now have a reason to return to Milton, assuming I survive long enough.

Day 6 Summary

  • Location: Mountain Town → Mystery Lake
  • Finds: Maple syrup, ptarmigan
  • Wildlife Watch: Ptarmigan spotted and secured
  • Conditions: Blizzard start, calm finish
  • Status: Alive, caffeinated, cookware-less

Continue the Journey

◀ Customloper Diaries – Day 5: Moose Standoff, Bullet Disappointment, and Frostbite Gordon Ramsay
Customloper Diaries – Day 7 ▶

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Here’s What You Missed This Week on Survivor Incognito – Crashes, Farewells, and Frozen Toes

Another week of survival stories has wrapped up over at Survivor Incognito, and here’s what went live:

  • 🌴 Tuesday: Sunburnt & Sinking – Stranded Deep: Day One. A plane crash, some aggressive crabs, and the beginning of another deeply questionable survival journey.
  • ❄️ Wednesday: Customloper Diaries – Day Five. Moose encounters, torchlit panic, and the continuing battle to not freeze to death in The Long Dark.
  • 🦎 Thursday: Goodnight, Sweet Lizard – A heartfelt (and mildly roasted) farewell to my first Skyrim survivor. Gone, but not forgotten. Or fully thawed.
  • 🚚 Friday: SnowRunner Survival – Day Three. I made it to the top of a mountain. That was the easy part. Getting down? That’s Future Me’s problem.
  • 🛤️ Saturday: Day One Diary – Choo Choo Charles. A train with spider legs, eggs with suspicious importance, and absolutely no time to process anything.

🧭 We also updated the Start Here page with better guidance for new readers and easier access to key blog content.

It’s been a week of rough starts, fond farewells, and terrain I was never meant to cross — just how we like it.

Next week: the official start of the Subnautica permadeath run, a bit more trucking, and probably something trying to kill me with a leaf. Stay tuned.

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Goodnight, Sweet Lizard: A Farewell to My First Skyrim Survivor

After 13 in-game days of sneak attacks, harsh weather, and a deeply unfortunate troll encounter, my Argonian Skyrim survivor meets his end. This is his legacy — and a lesson in knowing when not to go into caves.

Read his full journey here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival

In Loving Memory of One Very Cold, Reluctantly Landed Argonian

He was cold-blooded. He was quiet. He preferred to solve most problems from the shadows with a well-placed arrow — because melee is for people with frostbite and regrets.

And yet, after surviving everything Skyrim threw at him, it wasn’t bandits, dragons, or starvation that claimed him. It was two angry trolls and one very bad decision to poke around in Darkshade Cave.

The Life of a Lizard Who Tried His Best

This wasn’t just another survivor.
This was a stealth archer, which is to say: a Skyrim classic.
He lived by the code of “snipe first, loot later, probably run if it doesn’t work.”

In just under two weeks, he:

Escaped Helgen

Lost Lydia

Hired and lost a mercenary

Earned Goldenhills Plantation the way every true adventurer dreams of: by completing a creepy quest and forgetting to farm anything afterwards

Rescued a horse he named Loki, who became the real MVP of the run

Became a part-time necromancer, part-time landowner, and full-time weather complaint generator

Climbed the 7,000 Steps in survival mode without dying of frostbite. Which is frankly a flex.


He even tried to get back to Riverwood like a responsible protagonist.

And then he saw a cave.

Final Moments: The Troll Toll

It started with a stop in Windhelm to offload loot and maybe warm up.
Then came the cave — just a quick look inside, a moment of curiosity.

The first troll nearly killed him.
He chugged potions like they were mead.
The second troll hit harder.
Somewhere in the middle, Gutworm joined the party.

And that was it.

No shouts. No slow-motion kill cam. Just two trolls and a regrettable sense of exploration.

What We’ve Learned

If there are bones outside a cave, leave them and the cave alone.

Gutworm is not an edgy band name — it’s a problem.

Owning property does not make you immune to stupid decisions.

Trolls are not “starter enemies.”

And stealth archery cannot save you if you’re cornered with no exit and 12% stamina.

Final Thoughts

He never had a name. But he had a farm, a horse, and a bow.

He stood on mountaintops. He summoned undead to do his dirty work.
He shot first, looted later, and almost made it to two weeks.

And then he did what every Skyrim player eventually does:
He got Skyrim’d by a cave.

Rest in peace, my scaly shadow-dweller. You tried. And in Skyrim Survival Mode, that’s more than enough.

And like they always say, I don’t know who they are, but they do: Finish on a song

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ARK: Aberration – Day One Diary: Punching Trees, Hallucinating Plants, and a Cliff Dive of Doom

My first day in ARK: Aberration on Nintendo Switch. From punching trees to cliff diving for water, join me for a chaotic survival tale featuring hallucinations, heat, and questionable choices.

Not sure where I am? Please check out the  ARK: Survival Evolved Maps

Welcome to Aberration

I decide to spawn at the Portal—the game assures me this is the easiest spot to start, so naturally, I trust it. I materialize in my underwear (as you do) and am immediately told I’m too hot. How? I’m practically naked!

Undeterred, I begin my search for trees to punch and rocks to grab. It sounds simple, but this is ARK. The landscape is full of creatures, including a Tek Stegosaurus!

I want it. I want it badly. But I’m level one, with zero taming ability. So I sigh, and return to foraging.

Tools, Berries, and the Great Stone Hunt

Before long, I’ve got a healthy stash of berries, thatch, and wood. I cobble together some primitive clothing—so long, underwear! Now for stones. The game clearly enjoys messing with me. Stones are everywhere, yet my button presses achieve nothing. After several failed attempts, I finally manage to pick some up. Tools: crafted.

Next problem: water. I’m parched, and the nearest source is… at the bottom of a cliff. What’s a survivor to do? I jump. If I die, hey—at least the Graveyard page gets a funny new entry. Miraculously, I survive.

The Hallucination Plant

Feeling triumphant, I approach a strange plant. Surely nothing bad could happen. The plant proves me wrong. I’m instantly hallucinating, defecating like it’s a competitive sport, and generally regretting my life choices. After about 30 seconds, it stops. Do I consider touching the plant again? Absolutely. Do I? Thankfully, no.

Night Falls, Chaos Rises

Darkness sets in. I light a torch—instant overheating. My options are: see where I’m going and melt, or stumble blindly in comfort.

And then, I become overencumbered. I offload a ton, even dip below my carry limit. Still can’t move. Can crouch, can look around, but walk or jump? Nope. At this point, I call it a day.

Final Thoughts

Not how I imagined my first day in Aberration ending, but I had a blast. Stay tuned—surely it can only get weirder from here.

If you enjoyed this one, please check out my other Day One Diaries | Survival Game Playthroughs & First-Day Survival Challenges

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The Backyard Trials: Grounded Day One – Honey, I Lost Myself in the Backyard

Day One of my Grounded permadeath run. I wake up microscopic, clueless, and desperate for clean water. Let the backyard chaos begin.

The Day I Became Smaller Than an Ant (Not by Choice)

I wake up. I don’t know where I am, how I got here, or why everything around me is suddenly the size of skyscrapers. I’m not ant-sized. I’m smaller than an ant. That’s never a great start to the day. But if panic has taught me anything, it’s that panic can wait. First, I need to get my bearings.

Pebblets. Lots of pebblets. I grab a handful because even tiny rocks feel better than empty hands. As I cautiously scout my surroundings, I stumble across a strange science station. Naturally, I press every button that doesn’t scream “self-destruct.” Turns out, I can analyze items here. Good news.

—

Science and Sharp Objects

I analyze the pebblets and some plant fibers I’ve picked up. That unlocks some basic blueprints. More importantly, I can now craft an axe. Primitive, sure, but it’s better than yelling at bugs and hoping they go away.

Water quickly becomes a concern. I sip some nasty puddle water because desperate times, but I know I can’t rely on swamp juice forever. Clean water will need to become a priority.

—

The Big Machine and Mysterious Tapes

While wandering, I discover a massive machine, along with a tape left behind by someone who sounds a little too excited about being tiny. I hit the giant power button (as you do). Only two lasers fire properly. One’s blocked. Clearly, there’s a puzzle here, but it’s not my priority while I still have a growling stomach.

—

First Blood: The Weevil Incident

Food is now problem number one. Aphids sprint away from me like they’ve seen this horror movie before, so I craft a spear to even the odds. After confirming that yes, I can throw it, a weevil helpfully volunteers to be my first meal. The spear works. The weevil doesn’t.

A short time later, I find an aphid who wasn’t paying attention and deal with it too. I then stumble upon a patch of mushrooms. Crisis temporarily averted.

—

Lean-To and Level Ups

The game suggests building a lean-to. For once, I listen. A few quick chops and gathers later, I’ve got my shelter set up right next to the science station. I analyze my newly acquired bug remains, unlock more blueprints, and watch my brainpower level go up. Apparently scanning stuff makes you smarter.

As night falls, I set my respawn point (which, let’s be honest, I probably won’t need in permadeath) and call it the end of Day One.

Survived the first day. No spiders yet. That counts as a win.

—

Current Status: Alive

Location: Science Station Lean-To

Major Achievements: Crafted axe and spear, discovered giant machine, avoided spider-related trauma.

Biggest Threat: The growing suspicion that things will only get worse.


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Stay tuned for Day Two of The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath.

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If you want more information on what this is, please check out: The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath

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Customloper Diaries Day Two: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion

Customloper Diaries – Day 2: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion

Weather: Blizzard with a side of regret

Loot Highlight: Mariner’s Pea Coat, Maple Syrup, Three Matches

Mood: Optimistic, then crushed by cooking requirements

Missed the start of this adventure? Read Day 1 here.

Blizzard-Hopping in Milton

I start the day in Grey Mother’s house, do some quick inventory management, and drop 2.5 litres of water—hydration is important, but weight limits are brutal. I also find a third cooking pot beside the fireplace, which I immediately move to the kitchen like the house-proud survivalist I am.

Outside? Blizzard. Naturally.

First stop: the post office. It gives me nothing but disappointment, but the car loot makes up for it—three matches from four vehicles is an impressive haul in a whiteout.

I hop from building to building, clothes getting wetter, warmth draining faster than my optimism. Still, I find a pair of work boots—a welcome upgrade from my starter footwear.

Weather Clears, Map Expands

Eventually, the blizzard dies down. I whip out some charcoal and start sketching like a freezing Bob Ross, mapping out more of Milton.

The improved visibility leads to some solid loot:

  • Rabbit meat in a freezer
  • A glorious Mariner’s Pea Coat (cue dramatic coat-swirling montage)

Loot, Syrup & Sadness

In another house, I pick up a can opener and a cozy pair of wool long johns. Back at Grey Mother’s, I drop off my spoils—deer and rabbit meat, sticks, and reclaimed wood. My outdoor meat stash is growing nicely.

With some time left in the day, I loot another house and find maple syrup. I get stupidly excited. Lily’s Pancakes are within reach! Or so I think…

Turns out I need Cooking Level 4 and acorn grounds. Who knew pancakes were an advanced skill? The disappointment is real.

Also found: another chunk of deer meat in the freezer. I’ll take it.

Peak Chaos: The Baseball Cap Incident

I end the day attempting to harvest a baseball cap for cloth. Instead, I drop it. Then I drop it again. Then I drop it somewhere else. Apparently, I’ve been out in the cold too long.

Back at base, I drop the last of my meat stash outside, harvest some clothes, fill up on food and drink, and wrap up Day 2. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll make it to that memento cache.

Continue the Journey

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Survivor’s Shorts: The Rabbit Got Up and Left Like I Wasn’t Even Worth It

In Pleasant Valley, I stunned a rabbit in The Long Dark. I walked over, ready to claim victory—only for it to stand up, look at me, and run away. I’ve never felt so insulted by a ball of fluff.

Ah, Pleasant Valley.

Land of blizzards, wolves, and soul-crushing optimism.

I was low on food, lower on morale, and spotted a few rabbits hopping around like they hadn’t a care in the world. I grabbed a rock and let instinct take over.

Thwack.
Direct hit. Rabbit down. I stunned it.

Heart racing, I walked over like a proud predator. This was it—my big win.
Dinner secured. Survival extended. The tundra had finally thrown me a bone.

But when I reached it?

The rabbit got up. Looked at me. And left.

No panic. No zigzag. Just a calm, confident hop back to its fluffy little life—like I hadn’t just concussed it with a rock.

I tried to chase it, failed. I just stood there, rock still in hand, questioning my worth.
Turns out in The Long Dark, you don’t get the kill unless you earn it fast.
And that rabbit clearly decided… I wasn’t worth the effort.

Final Thoughts

The Long Dark is full of brutal wildlife encounters.
Turns out, sometimes the smallest animals don’t need claws or teeth — they just need perfect timing to humiliate you.

If you enjoyed this one, please check out my other Survivor’s Shorts | Survival Game Clips, Fails & Funny Playthrough Highlights

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Customloper Diaries Day One: A Woollen Windy Welcome to Milton

Customloper Diaries – Day 1: Socks, Soup, and Stubbornness

Spawn Point: Spruce Falls Bridge, Mountain Town

Weather: Windy, with a 100% chance of optimism

Loot Highlight: Hunting knife, Cowichan sweater, two cups of coffee

Visit the Mountain Town map:
Check it out here.

First Steps and First Socks

I spawn near Spruce Falls Bridge, spot a sign for Milton, and like any wanderer with no better plan, I follow it. Along the way, I grab rose hips and reishi mushrooms because nature said so.

The bridge cars turn into an early-game care package: wool socks (luxury), a parka (yes please), matches (liquid gold), and a hunting knife I immediately form an unhealthy attachment to.

Bridge car loot in Mountain Town

Shelter from the Storm (Sort of)

A nearby trailer offers a fire barrel, but I only duck in long enough to warm up and snag a wool toque—stylish and slightly smelly.

Down at the church I harvest cattails for calories, spot a deer carcass, and attempt to start a fire. The wind laughs. First attempt: fail. Second: also fail. Third: success… which the wind immediately blows out mid-harvest. Rude.

Deer carcass near the church
Can you spot it?

Redemption at the Altar (and in the Glovebox)

Inside the church, RNG finally smiles. One match, one try, one roaring fire. I cook the meat, boil water, and brew reishi tea. A nearby pickup coughs up a hatchet—huge early-game win.

Back in Milton, a glovebox note reveals a memento cache… at the church I just left. Classic.

Memento note found in Milton

Coffee, Cowichan, and Canadian Comfort

The bank delivers coffee grounds, two brewed cups, and a Cowichan sweater hidden in the safe like national treasure. Grey Mother’s house becomes base: two cooking pots, some deer meat, a ski jacket, hockey jersey, and wool mittens. Team motto: Not Dead Yet.

Winding Down with Tea and Triumph

I end the day with boiled water, cooked meat, and a cup of herbal tea to patch up condition. A windy start, but a strong finish. Customloper is officially underway.

Continue the Journey

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The Moose Behind the Tree – A 5% Spawn, 100% Panic Sprint

I thought I was alone on Coastal Highway. Then I saw antlers. This is the story of how a moose turned a quiet walk into an Olympic-level panic sprint.

—

It was just another day in The Long Dark.

I was walking the road near Quonset Garage on Coastal Highway. Light fading, stomach grumbling, the usual post-loot shuffle home. Everything felt quiet. Calm. Deceptively safe.

Then I saw it.

Not a charging bear. Not a distant wolf. No, this was worse.

A moose.

It wasn’t running.
It wasn’t stomping.
It was just… standing there.
Behind a tree.

Image taken from The Long Dark Wiki. Mainly because I didn’t think to take a screenshot or a video when it happened

—

Staring at me like it had been waiting for its cue in a survival horror play.

And then—it took the stance.
The head lowered. The hooves shifted. You know the one. The “say the word and I’ll flatten you” stance.

That was my sign to go.

I turned and ran for the nearest building like I’d just insulted its family. My survival instincts kicked in, my inventory was forgotten, and my dignity stayed behind by the tree.

—

Final Thoughts

The Long Dark Wiki says that moose in particular has a 5% chance to spawn for 48 hours. This one spawned right behind a tree and in front of my will to live.

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Got a favourite chaotic moment?

Let me know in the comments or tag me on social—I’m always looking for new disasters to celebrate.
And if you enjoy these shorts, consider sharing the page with a fellow survivor.
Because nothing says “friendship” like a moose silently judging you from behind a tree.

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If you enjoyed this story, please check out my other: Survivor’s Shorts

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