Tag: Steam Deck

Retro Reflections: Banjo-Kazooie

Nearly Thirty Years Later, the Rare Magic Is Still There

Revisiting the Games That Shaped a Lifetime of Gaming

Gruntilda had been defeated.

Every Jiggy had been collected. Every musical note had been found. Every Jinjo had been rescued. The final Honeycomb Pieces were mine.

There was nothing left to collect.

After working my way through Grunty’s Furnace Fun and climbing to the top of the lair for one final battle, Banjo and Kazooie’s adventure was over.

Nearly thirty years after the game was first released, I had completed Banjo-Kazooie again.

And somehow, the magic was still there.

Following Super Mario 64

In 1998, Banjo-Kazooie was released to the world, two years after Super Mario 64 had helped establish what a 3D platformer could be.

Rare have never been shy about the fact that Banjo-Kazooie took inspiration from Mario’s first 3D adventure, and playing the two games makes some of those influences fairly easy to see.

Both send you into self-contained worlds filled with objectives. Both gradually open up a larger hub as you progress. Both are built around exploring 3D spaces in a way that was still relatively new at the time.

But Banjo-Kazooie never felt like it was simply trying to copy Super Mario 64.

Rare took that foundation and built something with an identity of its own.

Nearly thirty years later, the obvious question is whether Banjo-Kazooie still holds up in the same way.

For me, the answer is yes.

That Rare Magic

There was something about Rare during that period that gave their games a character all of their own.

It is difficult to properly define what that Rare magic actually was.

The characters were part of it. The music was part of it. The humour certainly helped. Even the way their worlds were designed had a particular feeling that was difficult to find anywhere else.

You just knew when you were playing a Rare game.

Banjo-Kazooie has that feeling running through almost everything it does.

Even Yooka-Laylee, developed many years later by a team that included former Rare developers, carries some of that same DNA. It isn’t a Rare game, but there are moments where that familiar feeling manages to break through.

Going back to Banjo-Kazooie reminded me just how strong that identity originally was.

Every World Had a Personality

One of the things that still impresses me is how different each world feels.

Mumbo’s Mountain doesn’t feel like Treasure Trove Cove.

Bubblegloop Swamp doesn’t feel like Freezeezy Peak.

Mad Monster Mansion couldn’t be further removed from Rusty Bucket Bay.

They might all follow the same basic idea of exploring, finding Jiggies and collecting musical notes, but Rare gave every location its own personality.

The music changes.

The enemies change.

The characters change.

Even the way you interact with the world changes depending on where you are.

Freezeezy Peak has you climbing an enormous snowman and helping a family of polar bears. Mad Monster Mansion turns Banjo into a pumpkin and sends him squeezing through places he normally couldn’t reach. Rusty Bucket Bay replaces bright open landscapes with polluted water, machinery and the inside of a cargo ship.

Then there is Click Clock Wood.

Rather than simply creating one final large world, Rare built the same location around four different seasons.

Spring, Summer, Fall and Winter all use the same basic landscape, but what you do during one season can affect what happens later.

Something planted in Spring grows by Summer.

Characters change as time passes.

Paths open and disappear.

By Winter, you are still standing in Click Clock Wood, but the world feels completely different from the place you first entered.

It remains one of my favourite ideas in the entire game.

The Little Details

Then there are the things that don’t really matter at all.

Those might be some of my favourite parts.

One example is the Blue Jinjo.

Something I have always noticed is that whenever a world gives Rare the opportunity, the Blue Jinjo has a habit of appearing in or around water.

It became one of those little patterns I found myself looking for whenever I entered another world.

Freezeezy Peak and Click Clock Wood don’t really follow it, but by then the association had already been made.

Blue Jinjo.

Find the water.

It doesn’t affect the game.

There is no reward for noticing it.

Rare didn’t need to do it.

But those are exactly the kinds of details that make the worlds feel like somebody was having fun putting them together.

A Collectathon That Still Works

At its heart, Banjo-Kazooie is absolutely a collectathon.

There are Jiggies.

There are musical notes.

There are Jinjos.

There are Honeycomb Pieces.

There are Mumbo Tokens.

There is always something else waiting around the next corner.

What surprised me was how rarely that collecting felt like I was simply clearing items from a checklist.

Most Jiggies have something attached to them.

A character needs help.

A puzzle needs solving.

A new ability opens somewhere that couldn’t previously be reached.

Mumbo turns Banjo into something increasingly questionable and suddenly the world can be explored from a completely different perspective.

There were still moments where the collecting fought back.

Apparently my greatest enemy throughout this expedition wasn’t Gruntilda.

It was groups of five musical notes.

Bubblegloop Swamp left me wandering around trying to work out where the final five had gone.

Then Rusty Bucket Bay decided to do exactly the same thing.

There is something uniquely frustrating about knowing you have collected ninety-five notes and that the remaining five are sitting somewhere in a world you have already searched.

Still, I found them.

Eventually.

Always Looking Ahead

Something else I appreciated more during this playthrough was how often Rare seemed to be looking towards whatever came next.

Gobi provides one of the more memorable examples.

After spending the game having his water taken from him, he finally reaches his limit in Click Clock Wood and runs off, declaring that he is heading for the lava world.

He seems fairly confident Banjo and Kazooie won’t follow him there.

Anyone familiar with Banjo-Tooie knows how well that worked out for him.

Whether Rare always intended that line to lead directly into the sequel or simply returned to the idea later, it now feels like a small thread connecting the two games.

Mumbo gets in on it as well.

Although it didn’t happen during my playthrough, his magic can occasionally go wrong and transform Banjo into a washing machine.

He also talks about being able to turn Banjo into a T-Rex, before deciding that transformation is too powerful and should be saved for the next game.

Both ideas would eventually return in Banjo-Tooie.

Even after Gruntilda has been defeated, Rare isn’t quite finished teasing the future.

Banjo, Kazooie and Mumbo are already talking about the next adventure.

The game gives you an ending.

It just never really says goodbye.

Grunty’s Final Examination

Before reaching that ending, there is one last obstacle waiting inside Gruntilda’s Lair.

Grunty’s Furnace Fun.

I had forgotten how much I liked the idea behind it.

Instead of immediately throwing you into another difficult platforming section, the game effectively gives you an exam.

Questions test your knowledge of the worlds you’ve explored, the characters you’ve met and the sounds you’ve heard throughout the adventure.

Even Brentilda’s strange pieces of information about her sister suddenly become useful.

After spending the entire game travelling through Gruntilda’s Lair, Furnace Fun asks whether you were actually paying attention.

Then, once that is finished, the game tests something else.

Your ability to play it.

The Final Battle

By the time Banjo and Kazooie finally reach Gruntilda, there are no more moves left to learn.

You already have everything you need.

The final battle expects you to prove that you know how to use it.

Eggs become important.

Golden Feathers become important.

Flight returns.

The Beak Bomb returns.

Eventually even the Jinjos you’ve spent the game rescuing become part of the fight.

I like that structure.

Grunty’s Furnace Fun tests your knowledge of the adventure.

Gruntilda tests the skills that should have been honed throughout it.

One tests what you remember.

The other tests what you’ve learned.

It makes the final stretch feel like an examination of the entire game rather than simply another boss waiting at the end.

Then Gruntilda falls.

And suddenly there is nothing left.

The Journey

This journey through Banjo-Kazooie was recorded as a complete no-commentary playthrough, following Banjo and Kazooie from Spiral Mountain through every world of Gruntilda’s Lair and eventually into the final battle itself.

Every Jiggy was collected.

Every musical note was found.

Every Jinjo was rescued.

Every Honeycomb Piece was collected.

If you’d like to follow the expedition from the beginning, you can watch the complete Banjo-Kazooie expedition on YouTube.

New expeditions begin on the Survivor Incognito Facebook page, where videos are released first before joining the weekly YouTube archive.

Still Magical After All These Years

So, nearly thirty years after its original release, does Banjo-Kazooie still hold up?

For me, absolutely.

That doesn’t mean everything has aged perfectly.

The camera can occasionally decide that cooperation is optional.

Some of the platforming shows its age.

Searching an entire world because five musical notes remain unaccounted for isn’t an experience I’m desperate to repeat regularly.

But none of those things came close to taking away from what Rare created.

Every world still has its own personality.

Grant Kirkhope’s music gives those worlds even more character.

Banjo and Kazooie remain a brilliant pairing.

The humour still works.

The transformations are still memorable.

And the constant little details make Gruntilda’s Lair feel like a place somebody actually enjoyed creating.

Super Mario 64 helped establish what the 3D platformer could become.

Banjo-Kazooie took that foundation and did something unmistakably Rare with it.

By the time I entered Winter in Click Clock Wood, I knew the journey was coming to an end.

Then the final Jiggy was collected.

The final musical note was found.

The last Jinjo was rescued.

The final Honeycomb Piece was mine.

Grunty’s Furnace Fun was completed.

Gruntilda was defeated.

The expedition was over.

It didn’t hit me in quite the same way as finally defeating Wizpig during my Diddy Kong Racing journey.

But the tears were still there.

Maybe that says more than anything else could.

Nearly thirty years after Banjo and Kazooie first left Spiral Mountain, Rare’s strange little bear and bird adventure can still make me feel something.

That magic hasn’t disappeared.

It was waiting in Gruntilda’s Lair the entire time.

0

Survivor’s Log: If We Don’t Own Our Games, What Exactly Are We Buying?

There are plenty of reasons I buy games digitally.

My Steam Deck alone should probably make it obvious that I am not standing on a hill waving a physical game case around and demanding that everyone return to 1998. The same goes for my Switch. I own a mixture of physical and digital games for it, and if anything, the digital side probably outweighs the physical.

Digital distribution is convenient. My library travels with me, I can install something without hunting for a disc, and sales have allowed me to pick up games I probably would never have bought otherwise.

Digital games are not the problem.

The problem begins when digital becomes the only option while the amount of control we have over the things we pay for continues to shrink.

Sony has now announced that physical disc production for new games releasing on PlayStation consoles will end in January 2028. Games already released on disc, or released before that cutoff, are unaffected. After that point, new PlayStation releases will be digital-only. Sony says the change reflects the broader shift in consumer preference towards digital media. PlayStation’s announcement can be read here.

I can understand the business logic.

That does not mean I have to like where it leads.

A Very Different PlayStation

There is something particularly strange about this coming from Sony.

Back in 2013, Microsoft managed to turn the Xbox One reveal into a lesson in how quickly you can annoy your own customers. Its original plans surrounding used games, online authentication and sharing created enough backlash that Sony had an extremely easy target.

PlayStation responded with one of the simplest demonstrations in gaming history.

How do you share a PlayStation 4 game?

You hand somebody the disc.

Sony’s own PS4 FAQ was equally clear. A PS4 disc could be traded in, sold to another person, lent to a friend or kept. Sony also said disc-based used games would not require activation steps or additional usage fees. The original PlayStation 4 FAQ is still available here.

It was an effective message because everyone understood it immediately.

You had the game.

You could hand it to somebody else.

Thirteen years later, PlayStation is heading towards a future where that option disappears for new releases.

The irony is difficult to ignore.

Apparently We Never Owned Them Anyway

The timing becomes even more awkward when combined with Sony’s current position on digital purchases.

PlayStation users have recently been reminded that digital software is licensed rather than sold. At almost the same time, Sony has been defending that distinction in court.

A proposed class action in California argues that the PlayStation Store’s use of terms such as “buy” and “purchase” does not make it sufficiently clear that customers receive a licence rather than ownership of the digital game. Sony has responded that its terms already make the distinction clear and that it is not plausible for reasonable customers to believe they are obtaining ownership of a digital game in the same way they would own a physical copy. Tom’s Hardware has a useful breakdown of the filing here.

Legally, the idea that software is licensed rather than sold is nothing new.

What bothers me is what happens when you combine the two positions.

Physical games are being phased out.

Digital games are licences.

And customers are apparently expected to accept that the thing replacing physical ownership gives them less control over what they paid for.

That leaves me with a fairly simple question.

If physical ownership is disappearing, why shouldn’t digital customers be given more control rather than less?

Steam Isn’t Quite the Answer Either

This is also where I have to be fair to Sony.

Steam isn’t some perfect digital ownership paradise.

Valve’s own Steam Subscriber Agreement says that Steam content and services are licensed, not sold, and that the licence does not give the user title or ownership of that content. Some games may also require the Steam client or an internet connection depending on the title and its licence terms. Valve’s Steam Subscriber Agreement is available here.

So I can’t point at Steam and say, “There. Valve solved digital ownership.”

They haven’t.

What Steam has done extremely well is make digital distribution convenient enough that most of the time I don’t particularly think about that distinction.

I buy a game. It sits in my library. I install it on my Steam Deck. I play it.

For everyday use, that works.

But convenience and ownership are still two different things.

And that’s where GOG becomes much more interesting.

GOG Shows That Digital Doesn’t Have To Mean Less Control

GOG is also a digital storefront.

There are no boxes being delivered to my house when I buy something there.

The difference is what I can do afterwards.

GOG requires games released on its platform to be DRM-free. Its Galaxy client is optional, and GOG provides offline installers that can be downloaded independently of the client. Its own developer documentation says games should remain playable regardless of Galaxy authentication, whether Galaxy is installed, or whether an internet connection is available. GOG explains its DRM-free requirements here, and its offline installer system here.

I can download an installer.

I can put it on an external drive.

I can make another backup.

If I want, I can store that copy somewhere completely separate from GOG.

That doesn’t magically erase copyright law or mean I suddenly own the intellectual property.

Obviously I don’t.

What it does mean is that my ability to reinstall that game does not have to depend entirely on whether the storefront still exists ten or twenty years from now.

That is a meaningful difference.

Microsoft Is Already Trying Another Approach

Microsoft has now added another interesting possibility to the conversation.

In August 2026, Xbox announced a new disc-to-digital feature for supported Xbox One and Xbox Series X games. Xbox Insiders began testing it on 31 August.

The system allows a player to insert a supported physical game into a compatible Xbox console and claim a digital entitlement. Microsoft says most Xbox One and Xbox Series X disc-based games support the feature, with eligibility depending on technical and licensing factors. Xbox’s announcement is available here.

That entitlement can then provide some of the advantages normally associated with owning a digital version, including access through Xbox Play Anywhere or Xbox Cloud Gaming where those features are supported.

There is, however, an important limitation.

This is not Microsoft permanently converting a physical game into an independent digital copy.

Microsoft’s own usage rules describe it as a limited-access digital licence. The entitlement remains conditional on continued possession of the qualifying disc. Microsoft can require the disc to be revalidated, and if the player no longer possesses it, access to the associated digital licence can be suspended or revoked. The digital licence also cannot be transferred separately from the physical disc. Microsoft’s Digital Goods Usage Rules explain those conditions here.

That distinction matters.

This is not the same solution GOG offers, and it does not solve every preservation problem.

But the underlying idea is still interesting.

You bought this physical game. We can recognise that purchase digitally too.

Rather than treating physical and digital libraries as completely separate worlds, Microsoft is at least building a bridge between them.

Steam shows how convenient a digital ecosystem can become.

GOG shows that digital distribution can coexist with DRM-free offline copies.

Microsoft is now showing that a physical purchase can be recognised inside a digital ecosystem too.

None of those systems is perfect.

But taken together, they make it much harder to argue that less consumer control is simply an unavoidable consequence of going digital.

Preservation Isn’t Just About Old Games

This is where the discussion stops being purely about which shop has the nicer refund policy.

Games disappear.

Servers close.

Licences expire.

Stores shut down.

Hardware eventually fails.

Sometimes a game becomes difficult or impossible to obtain legally despite thousands or millions of copies once being sold.

Physical media was never indestructible, but a functioning disc and compatible hardware gave you something important: a copy that did not need permission from a remote storefront every time you wanted to revisit it.

DRM-free digital files can provide something similar.

They can be copied.

They can be archived.

They can survive the storefront that originally sold them.

That matters to me because I’ve recently found myself returning to older games, and it’s a reminder of how important it is that those games remain accessible years after their original release.

I’ve spent plenty of time revisiting games from systems that disappeared from shop shelves decades ago. The idea that today’s games could become tomorrow’s preservation problem because customers were never allowed to retain useful copies of what they bought seems completely avoidable.

The technology is not the obstacle.

The policy is.

I’m Not Asking For The Disc To Survive Forever

Physical media probably was always going to decline.

Downloads are convenient. Publishers don’t have to manufacture discs, ship them around the world and hope retailers sell them.

I understand why the industry is moving this way.

And given how many digital games I own, it would be slightly ridiculous for me to pretend I’m opposed to it.

I’m not.

What I don’t accept is the idea that moving to digital inherently means customers must surrender control.

If you’re going to remove the physical copy, give me something meaningful in its place.

Maybe that’s a DRM-free installer like GOG.

Maybe it’s a system that recognises an existing physical purchase and gives it useful digital benefits, like Microsoft is now testing.

Maybe somebody comes up with an even better solution.

I don’t particularly care which approach ultimately wins.

What I care about is that the answer isn’t simply:

Physical media is disappearing, and you’ll have less control over what replaces it.

Give me offline installers.

Let me create backups.

Let me keep those backups without requiring authentication from a service that might not exist thirty years from now.

You can still have cloud saves.

You can still have automatic updates.

You can still have achievements, multiplayer services, storefronts and all the other conveniences modern platforms provide.

Digital distribution does not require digital dependence.

What Exactly Am I Paying For?

Maybe that’s the part of this whole situation I find most uncomfortable.

Publishers are increasingly comfortable using the language of purchasing when they want my money, then the language of licensing when questions of ownership arise.

The button says Buy.

The receipt looks like a purchase.

The money certainly leaves my bank account like a purchase.

But apparently expecting lasting control over the thing on the other side of that transaction is where things become unreasonable.

I’m not convinced.

Sony once demonstrated the benefits of physical ownership by handing a PlayStation game from one person to another.

It was funny because there was nothing complicated about it.

You bought something.

You possessed it.

You decided what happened to your copy next.

If that future really is disappearing, then I don’t think the answer should be to shrug and accept that we now control less.

Digital can be better than that.

We already know it can.

The industry just has to decide whether giving customers that control is something it actually wants to do.

For me, that’s the distinction.

Digital distribution is fine.

Digital convenience is great.

But if physical games are going away, I want the replacement to give players more control over the games they’ve paid for, not less.

Because one day the servers will go quiet.

And when they do, I’d quite like the games to survive them.

3

Retro Reflections: Diddy Kong Racing Adventure 1

When the Familiar Journey Became a Different Challenge

Revisiting the Games That Shaped a Lifetime of Gaming

I did not expect to write another Retro Reflection about Diddy Kong Racing quite so soon.

At the time of writing this, only a few weeks have passed since I finished my reflection on the Diddy Kong Racing Randomizer. That journey saw me take Krunch, widely considered the worst racer in the game, through a completely unpredictable version of one of my favourite childhood adventures.

Wizpig had been defeated twice. The randomizer was complete. I had proven everything I had set out to prove.

At least, that was what I told myself.

After the challenge ended, I found myself watching the races against Wizpig again and again. I could not say how many times I replayed them. There was something satisfying about watching Krunch cross those finish lines after everything it had taken to reach them.

Yet while I watched, another thought began settling into the back of my mind.

No matter what else I played or worked on, it stayed there.

What if I completed the original Diddy Kong Racing as Krunch?

No randomised tracks. No relocated bosses. No unexpected vehicles or rearranged progression.

Just Krunch, the original adventure and one clear objective: complete everything Diddy Kong Racing had to offer using him.

That meant completing Adventure 1 and Adventure 2. It meant unlocking Drumstick and eventually unlocking T.T. It meant beating every race, every Silver Coin Challenge, every boss and every Trophy Race with the same Kremling behind the wheel.

It was not a small commitment.

Naturally, I started almost immediately.

The First Leg of the Journey

Adventure 1 is now complete.

The first leg of this journey is over, and I can still hardly believe I have done it.

Before sitting down to write this, I was editing the final race against Wizpig. I watched the footage back to make sure the recording flowed properly and that the ending felt right.

As Krunch approached the penultimate corner, I remembered exactly what I had been thinking while I was playing.

That was the moment the realisation hit me.

I had just beaten Adventure 1 as Krunch.

The finish line was still ahead, but the outcome already felt settled. After every race, boss and Silver Coin Challenge that had led to that moment, I knew I was about to complete the first adventure with the character so many players dismissed as the worst in the game.

It was not the finish line itself that stayed with me.

It was the moment just before it, when my mind finally caught up with what I had done.

Still Learning Krunch

It would be fair to argue that I entered this playthrough with an advantage.

I had only recently completed the randomizer, so the feel of Krunch’s handling was still fresh. I knew how slowly he rebuilt his speed after a mistake. I understood how much planning his turns required, and I had already learned that trying to force him around a course like one of the lighter racers usually ended badly.

That familiarity helped.

It did not make the journey easy.

Krunch still had the same weaknesses. His acceleration remained poor, his handling remained heavy and tight corners continued to punish even small errors.

His greatest enemy, however, appeared to be anything resembling an upward incline.

The races against Tricky proved that repeatedly.

Krunch has enough speed to compete once he gets moving, but climbing slows him down and exposes how difficult it can be for him to regain momentum. Against a boss already charging towards the summit, losing even a small amount of speed could turn an otherwise strong attempt into another restart.

Tricky was not impossible, but he made sure each victory felt earned.

When Familiar Races Felt Wrong

Bluey created a different kind of frustration.

I remember racing Bluey repeatedly when I first owned Diddy Kong Racing on the Nintendo 64. His second race became something I could complete without giving it much thought. It was one of those challenges that had once felt difficult but eventually became routine.

Returning to it as Krunch changed that.

This time, I had to work for the victory.

That felt wrong at first.

My memory insisted Bluey should have been easy. The game in front of me disagreed.

That conflict between memory and reality appeared several times throughout Adventure 1. I remembered the tracks, shortcuts and general rhythm of each world, but Krunch forced me to approach them differently.

Routes that once felt comfortable became awkward. Corners I barely noticed as Tiptup demanded more care. Mistakes that might have cost another racer a second could cost Krunch the entire race.

The game was familiar.

The experience was not.

Learning to Drive Krunch

That is probably the biggest thing Adventure 1 taught me.

Krunch is not necessarily a bad character.

He is a demanding one.

When I played Diddy Kong Racing as a child, I never spent enough time with him to understand how he needed to be driven. I would occasionally select him, notice that he felt heavier than Tiptup and move on without thinking much more about it.

Completing an entire adventure with him forced me to stop comparing him with the other racers.

I had to learn Krunch on his own terms.

I began planning corners instead of reacting to them. I learned when to ease off rather than force the turn. I became more conscious of maintaining momentum because rebuilding it could take too long.

Eventually, I stopped trying to make Krunch drive like Tiptup.

I started learning how to make Krunch drive like Krunch.

That did not suddenly transform him into the best racer in the game. T.T. still holds that position for a reason.

Krunch’s weaknesses remain obvious, and some races are undeniably harder with him. The comments on my videos repeatedly reminded me of that.

People called him the worst character in the game. They asked why anyone would choose the crocodile. Some claimed he had no aura, while others simply said that he sucked.

They were not entirely wrong about his reputation.

What mattered was that he still completed every challenge placed in front of him.

The Original Adventure Still Works

Returning without the randomizer also reminded me how well the structure of Diddy Kong Racing still holds together.

Timber’s Island remains more than a menu between races.

Each new world feels like a destination. Balloons open doors, keys reveal hidden challenges and boss victories change what becomes available. The island gives the adventure a sense of place that many racing games never attempt.

Even after knowing where everything was, completing each world still felt like meaningful progress.

Dino Domain introduced the journey.

Snowflake Mountain tested whether Krunch could maintain momentum through ice and uphill sections.

Sherbet Island shifted the focus towards hovercraft races and tighter lines.

Dragon Forest brought the last major stretch of Timber’s Island before the first confrontation with Wizpig.

Then Future Fun Land opened and reminded me why reaching it felt so significant when I was younger.

It still feels separate from the rest of the game. The tracks, music and setting give it the sense of a final hidden chapter waiting beyond the adventure players thought they had already completed.

Unlocking it still felt earned.

Unlocking Drumstick

Before returning to Wizpig, there was one other unfinished piece of business.

Drumstick still needed to be unlocked.

Most of the work had already been completed by that point. All that remained was finding the correct frog wandering around Timber’s Island and flattening it with the car.

It remains one of those wonderfully strange secrets that feels completely natural within a Rare game.

A racer had been transformed into a frog, and the solution was to drive over him.

Once Drumstick returned to normal and joined the roster, the final preparations were complete.

Wizpig was waiting.

Facing Wizpig Again

The first race against Wizpig was always going to demand attention.

Even without Krunch, it remains one of the biggest roadblocks in Diddy Kong Racing for anyone who is not a speedrunner or someone who has spent years mastering the game.

There are no balloons to rescue a bad attempt. There are no weapons to slow Wizpig down. The race depends on hitting the zippers, carrying speed and avoiding the water.

Krunch makes each of those requirements less forgiving.

Missing a zipper costs momentum. Touching the water makes his poor acceleration immediately obvious. A bad turn can allow Wizpig to build a lead that feels impossible to recover.

I had beaten this race before.

I had beaten it during the first randomizer attempt, then again during the complete randomizer run.

That experience did not make this victory automatic.

It still took multiple attempts.

There were runs where I knew almost immediately that it was not going to happen. There were others where I stayed close enough to believe, only for one small mistake to end the attempt.

Then everything held together.

The zippers connected. The corners worked. Krunch stayed close enough to keep the race alive.

As I reached the penultimate corner, the finish line came into view.

That was when it hit me.

I was not simply about to beat Wizpig again.

I was about to complete the first major stage of this journey as Krunch.

For the third time, the character considered the worst racer in Diddy Kong Racing had beaten Wizpig 1.

Future Fun Land was open.

The Final Chapter of Adventure 1

Future Fun Land still had to be completed.

The four races, their Silver Coin Challenges and the final Trophy Race all stood between Krunch and the true ending of Adventure 1.

By that stage, the journey had developed a steady rhythm.

Each race was familiar, but familiarity no longer meant carelessness. Krunch still demanded attention, particularly on tracks where narrow sections or sharp turns punished poor positioning.

There was also a different atmosphere to Future Fun Land.

Everything felt closer to the end.

Every completed race removed another obstacle. Every Silver Coin Challenge opened the path a little further. The final Trophy Race became the last formality before the final encounter with Wizpig.

Once that trophy had been claimed, nothing remained between Krunch and the last race of Adventure 1.

One Final Race

The second encounter with Wizpig is a very different challenge from the first.

Krunch trades the car for a plane and follows Wizpig through tunnels, machinery and open space.

I had already beaten this race during the randomizer, including a version stretched across four laps.

Even so, completing it here carried a different weight.

This was not the end of an unpredictable seed.

This was the conclusion of the original Adventure 1 journey.

During the race, I was focused on the same things I had been thinking about throughout the entire playthrough: maintaining speed, staying clean through corners and avoiding the kind of mistake that could undo everything.

Then came the final section.

As I approached the penultimate corner, the realisation returned.

I had done it.

Not just the race.

Adventure 1.

After every world, every boss, every Silver Coin Challenge and every Trophy Race, Krunch was about to cross the final finish line.

That was the moment that stayed with me.

Not the credits.

Not the celebration afterwards.

The moment just before the finish, when I realised the first leg of this journey was complete.

What Adventure 1 Changed

The randomizer proved that Diddy Kong Racing could still surprise me.

This playthrough proved something different.

It proved that a familiar game could feel new without changing any of its content.

All it took was changing the character.

Using Krunch altered the pace of the races and forced me to reconsider routes I thought I already understood. It made easy victories less reliable and difficult races even more demanding.

It also changed how I viewed him.

I began this wider KRUNCH% journey because I had learned that Krunch was considered the worst racer in the game. That reputation made him the obvious choice for a challenge.

Somewhere along the way, he stopped feeling like a restriction.

He became my racer.

I no longer selected him because the challenge required it.

I selected him because playing Diddy Kong Racing without him had started to feel wrong.

That may be the strangest outcome of all.

I began this journey intending to prove that Krunch could complete the game.

Instead, I ended Adventure 1 understanding why I wanted him to be the one who did it.

The Journey

This first stage of Krunch%: The Complete Adventure was recorded as a complete no-commentary playthrough on Steam Deck.

The journey covers every world of Adventure 1, every Silver Coin Challenge, every Trophy Race, the unlocking of Drumstick and both races against Wizpig.

New expeditions arrive first on the Survivor Incognito Facebook page before joining the weekly YouTube archive.

▶ Watch Krunch%: The Complete Adventure

If you would like to experience the journey from the beginning, the full playlist is available on YouTube.


Watch Krunch%: The Complete Adventure on YouTube

📘 Follow Survivor Incognito on Facebook

Facebook is where each new expedition begins before becoming part of the weekly YouTube archive.


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Support Survivor Incognito on Patreon

Videos also arrive on Patreon before reaching YouTube. Everything remains free to watch, with Patreon offering early access and an optional way to support future expeditions.


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Adventure 2 Awaits

Adventure 1 may be complete, but this was only the first stage of the journey.

Adventure 2 still waits.

The Silver Coin Challenges will change. Familiar tracks will demand different routes, and the bosses will return for another series of rematches.

Beyond that, T.T. still needs to be unlocked.

That means beating the required staff time on every standard track, unlocking T.T.’s ghost and then defeating him.

All of it will be done as Krunch.

By the end of this journey, I will have defeated Wizpig 1 five times and Wizpig 2 four times using the character so many people insist is the worst racer in the game.

Perhaps they are right.

Krunch may be slow to recover. He may struggle with inclines, tight turns and anything that interrupts his momentum.

None of that has stopped him yet.

Adventure 1 is complete.

Adventure 2 awaits.

0

Retro Reflections: Diddy Kong Racing Randomizer

When a Childhood Favourite Became Unpredictable

Revisiting the Games That Shaped a Lifetime of Gaming

Wizpig had been defeated.

Not once, but twice.

The first time by a Kremling driving a car. The second by that same Kremling piloting a plane.

It sounds ridiculous when you put it like that, but then this was never an ordinary playthrough of Diddy Kong Racing.

To understand why this challenge meant so much, it’s probably best to start back in 1997.

A Childhood Favourite

Diddy Kong Racing was one of the first games I owned for the Nintendo 64, and from the moment I first played it, I was hooked.

Contrary to what many people might expect, my character of choice wasn’t Krunch. It was Tiptup.

That little turtle carried me through everything the game had to offer. Adventure 1, Adventure 2, unlocking Drumstick, unlocking T.T., and eventually reaching 100% completion.

Looking back, I think Rare captured something special with Diddy Kong Racing. Timber’s Island wasn’t just a menu. It was a world to explore. New doors opened, bridges appeared, balloons unlocked fresh routes, and every boss victory felt like genuine progress.

The world felt enormous, every new area felt like an adventure, and simply exploring the island was almost as enjoyable as the races themselves.

It had a magic about it that only Rare seemed capable of creating.

Rediscovering the Adventure

Years later, I discovered that fans had created a randomizer for the game.

Instead of following the familiar progression, races, bosses, Silver Coin Challenges, keys, and other objectives could appear in completely unexpected places. Every seed offered a different journey.

The idea immediately interested me, but not enough to actually start playing.

Around the same time, I also discovered something else.

Krunch was widely considered the worst character in the game.

That surprised me.

I remembered using him occasionally as a child, but I’d never really thought much about how much more difficult he could make the game. T.T. being regarded as the best character made perfect sense considering what it took to unlock him, but Krunch being at the opposite end of the scale wasn’t something I had ever considered.

Krunch’s handling was always his biggest weakness. He had speed, but turning him could feel like steering a shopping trolley with one stubborn wheel. On tighter tracks, that could make the difference between winning and watching the rest of the field disappear into the distance.

Why Krunch?

Everything changed in 2026.

I came across someone attempting to complete both Adventure 1 and Adventure 2 as Krunch. Watching them struggle against Wizpig 1, a race responsible for frustrating countless players over the years, planted an idea in my mind.

Why not combine the two?

Rather than simply replaying Diddy Kong Racing, why not tackle a randomizer seed using the character many people considered the game’s weakest?

Most randomizer videos I had seen were completed by players using T.T. and speedrunning through carefully planned routes.

That wasn’t what I wanted.

I wanted to experience Diddy Kong Racing all over again.

Playing the challenge on Steam Deck also made it feel strangely fitting. Decades after first exploring Timber’s Island on the Nintendo 64, I was now revisiting one of my favourite childhood games on a handheld PC, chasing the same sense of adventure I remembered from years ago.

After experimenting with several seeds, I finally found one that felt right.

Almost immediately, something unexpected happened.

The sense of wonder I remembered from childhood returned.

The island no longer felt physically huge like it once had, but thanks to the randomizer, it became unpredictable again.

For the first time in decades, I didn’t know what was waiting behind the next door.

A Childhood Nightmare Returns

The first major obstacle came sooner than expected.

The randomizer had placed Wizpig 1 behind a door, allowing me to challenge him far earlier than normal.

For many players, Wizpig 1 was one of the defining challenges of childhood.

Speedrunners make the race look straightforward, but without extensive practice, Wizpig has a habit of reminding you exactly who’s in charge.

This time I wasn’t racing as Tiptup.

I was racing as Krunch.

My first victory took well over an hour of repeated attempts.

When I finally crossed the finish line ahead of Wizpig, something unexpected happened.

I started crying.

It genuinely felt as though I had healed a small piece of my childhood.

Oddly enough, once that race was over, it almost felt like the seed itself had reached its natural conclusion.

I had completed an unspoken challenge I hadn’t even realised I had set for myself.

When the Randomizer Fought Back

That wasn’t enough.

I wanted to complete an entire randomizer.

I generated another seed, this time making sure Wizpig 1 appeared at the end of a more traditional progression.

Every victory had to be earned.

Some of the biggest roadblocks weren’t where I expected them to be.

Tricky 2 became one of the toughest challenges in the entire run.

Despite already defeating him once in a previous seed, he repeatedly humbled me. I learned A-Tapping, watched experienced players, studied alternative strategies, and even experimented with climbing the mountain differently as Krunch.

This wasn’t just a case of throwing attempts at the same problem until the game gave in. I had to learn. I had to improve. I had to understand why I was failing instead of simply hoping the next attempt would work.

Eventually, something clicked.

I still don’t know exactly what changed, but I reached the summit and finally defeated him.

Then came Greenwood Village’s Silver Coin Challenge.

Five laps sounded generous.

The relocated coins told a very different story.

One awkwardly placed coin repeatedly ruined otherwise perfect attempts until, once again, persistence eventually won.

The randomizer also seemed determined to prove that planes solved almost everything. At times it felt as though every major objective involved taking to the skies. It became a running joke throughout the challenge that the randomizer may have forgotten cars existed.

By the time I reached Wizpig 1 for the second time, I genuinely felt I had earned another chance.

This victory took around half the time of the first.

The tears returned.

But there was still one final challenge waiting.

One Last Race

Wizpig 2.

The randomizer wasn’t finished making life difficult either.

Instead of the normal three laps, the final race became four.

Attempt after attempt ended with mistakes, restarts, or Wizpig reminding me that the finish line was still a long way away.

Then one run felt different.

Throughout the challenge I’d developed a strange habit of trusting my instincts. Sometimes I knew within moments that an attempt wasn’t going to be the one.

This time, that feeling never arrived.

Everything flowed.

Every corner connected.

Every boost landed.

Krunch, supposedly the worst racer in the game, felt unstoppable.

When I crossed the finish line, I simply stared at my Steam Deck.

The challenge was over.

I had completed a randomizer of one of my favourite childhood games using the character many people consider the weakest.

The emotion didn’t arrive immediately.

It wasn’t until the following morning that it finally sank in.

Only then did the tears come.

The Journey

This journey through Diddy Kong Racing Randomizer was recorded as a complete no-commentary playthrough using Krunch. If you’d like to experience the challenge from beginning to end, you can watch the full playlist on YouTube.

New adventures begin on the Survivor Incognito Facebook page, where videos are released first before joining the weekly YouTube archive.


▶ Watch the complete KRUNCH% – DKR Randomizer 2.0 playthrough on YouTube


📘 Follow Survivor Incognito on Facebook

Still Magical After All These Years

Unfortunately, Diddy Kong Racing never truly received the sequel it deserved.

The Nintendo DS version introduced new features, but for me it never quite captured the same feeling as the original Nintendo 64 release.

Maybe one day I’ll return once again and complete the original game as Krunch without a randomizer.

For now though, I’m happy knowing this challenge accomplished something I hadn’t expected.

It didn’t just prove that Krunch could beat a randomizer.

It proved that, nearly thirty years after first playing Diddy Kong Racing, the game could still surprise me.

The older I get, the rarer it becomes to experience a game with that same sense of wonder I had as a child.

Somehow, a randomizer and one stubborn Kremling gave me that feeling one more time.

0

KRUNCH% Entry 7 | The Wizpig Wall Finally Falls


KRUNCH% Entry 7 | The Wizpig Wall Finally Falls

Seed: 232968 • Platform: Steam Deck • Character: Krunch • Format: No Commentary

The Race I Kept Avoiding

There is something I have been putting off for a while now.

Something waiting patiently for me in Dragon Forest.

Wizpig 1.

For those unfamiliar with Diddy Kong Racing, Wizpig 1 is one of the biggest walls in the entire game. The race itself sounds simple enough on paper:

  • Three laps
  • No balloons
  • Only zippers

In reality, it is one of the toughest skill checks in the game.

And Wizpig does not care how well the randomizer has treated you beforehand.

I have watched speedrunners destroy this race with T.T., the character many consider the best racer in the game.

The last time I personally beat Wizpig 1 was years ago on Adventure 2 using Tiptup.

This time?

I am doing it with Krunch.

Arguably the worst racer in the game.

At this point, I genuinely just want to prove to myself that it can actually be done.

Attempt After Attempt

Thankfully, the randomizer decides not to become completely evil here and gives me the standard Wizpig race.

Three laps.

Wizpig himself, however, shows absolutely no mercy.

Before starting, I establish a small rule for myself:

Five attempts maximum.

If I fail all five attempts, I reload the save state and reset mentally before trying again.

Simple.

Reasonable.

Probably necessary.

What follows is over an hour of learning how Krunch actually works under pressure.

Every failed attempt teaches me something new:

  • Be gentle with the control stick
  • Do not panic steer after zippers
  • Let the kart settle naturally
  • Know when to release the A button and when to accelerate again

More than anything else, the race becomes about consistency.

You do not need a perfect run where every zipper is flawless.

But you need to get dangerously close to one.

One bad correction.

One bad angle.

One missed zipper.

And Krunch immediately reminds you why most people do not pick him.

Attempt 7

Then Attempt 7 happens.

I get the blue boost at the start.

Good.

I need that if I want any chance of staying near Wizpig.

I hit the zippers cleanly and move into lap two right behind him.

Then, on the first zipper of lap two, I take the lead.

By lap three, I am somehow still ahead.

Not comfortably.

Not safely.

Just enough to keep believing this might actually happen.

Then the final zipper arrives.

Wizpig slips back ahead after I spend most of lap three in first place.

I hit the purple zipper.

The kart surges forward.

The finish line appears.

1st place.

Honestly, I still do not fully know whether Wizpig pushed me across the line or not.

It was that close.

A complete photo finish.

And honestly?

I do not care.

I had just beaten Wizpig 1 with Krunch.

Tears At The Finish Line

Wizpig 1 is already considered one of the toughest races in Diddy Kong Racing.

Beating him with Krunch feels like a genuine flex in anybody’s book.

I let the cutscene and credits roll while sitting there crying tears of joy.

Years ago, when I first booted up Diddy Kong Racing on the Nintendo 64, I never imagined I would one day come back and beat one of childhood gaming’s biggest walls using the character most people would never willingly choose for it.

Back then, Tiptup was enough.

Now?

Krunch survived.

The End Of Seed 232968

And honestly, this feels like the right place to end this particular randomizer.

Seed 232968 has taken me through Smokey 2, Darkmoon Caverns, Star City, Silver Coin Challenges, and more than a few moments where I questioned whether the randomizer was actively trying to ruin my day.

Most importantly, it taught me things about Diddy Kong Racing that I had never really needed to learn before.

A-tapping.

Better drifting.

Split timings.

How much speed can be gained or lost through tiny mistakes.

Then came Frosty Village.

A one-lap Silver Coin Challenge that became the wall of the entire run.

Could it be beaten?

Probably.

Given enough time, enough attempts, and enough stubbornness, I suspect Krunch could eventually force his way through.

But Survivor Incognito has always been built around one simple idea:

Surviving, Not Suffering.

The challenge stopped being an adventure and started becoming a grind.

So rather than spend weeks throwing Krunch at the same obstacle, I decided to call this run where it felt complete.

At Wizpig 1.

The wall that had been waiting for me since the beginning.

The race I kept avoiding.

The race that finally fell.

Seed 232968 may not be fully complete, but it achieved exactly what I wanted it to achieve.

Krunch survived.

And somewhere beyond the finish line, a brand new randomizer seed is already waiting.

Episode Video

Progress Log

  • Current Seed: 232968
  • Balloons: 18
  • Wizpig Amulet Pieces: 2
  • T.T. Amulet Pieces: 2
  • Bosses Defeated: Bubbler 2, Smokey 2, Bluey 1, Wizpig 1
  • Current Threat Level: Chapter complete

Continue the Journey


Entry 6 | Somehow, Star City Went Well ←


KRUNCH% Archive

— All entries in this run.

Next: KRUNCH% – DKR Randomizer 2.0 begins soon.


Super Mario ROM Hacks Archive

— All Mario ROM hack content.

0

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 4: Mapping The Castle

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 4: Mapping The Castle

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Video: Bob-Omb Battlefield is located, two switch courses are cleared, and Bowser in the Dark World refuses to stay where it belongs.

A Quick Investigation

With Rainbow Ride finally behind me, I decided it was time to start figuring out what the castle was actually hiding.

My first stop was the area that would normally contain the Secret Aquarium.

Instead, the randomizer had placed Bob-Omb Battlefield there.

I had a quick look around, but it didn’t take long to realise there wasn’t much point staying.

A lot of the stars appeared to require the Wing Cap, and since I don’t actually have access to it yet, I decided there was little point forcing the issue.

I’d rather finish a course in one visit than collect a couple of stars and immediately leave again.

With that in mind, I backed out and continued exploring.

The Vanish Cap Switch

Next, I paid a visit to the painting that would normally lead to Jolly Roger Bay.

Inside was the Vanish Cap Switch course.

That was good news.

The switch courses are useful because once they’re done, they’re done.

No wondering whether I missed a star.

No revisiting them later.

Just one objective and a clear result.

The randomizer was fairly kind here. I spawned at the top of the slide, which allowed me to collect red coins as I made my way down. The switch itself was also much closer than usual.

Getting the star turned out to be the difficult part.

The star had spawned close to my starting position, meaning I effectively had to complete part of the course backwards.

That sounds simple enough until muscle memory starts fighting back.

I’m used to travelling through this course in one direction. Suddenly doing the opposite felt surprisingly awkward.

Eventually I reached the star and collected it, putting the first switch course firmly in the completed column.

The Metal Cap Switch

The next stop was the Cool, Cool Mountain painting.

Inside was the Metal Cap Switch course.

At that point I realised I was about to clear two of the three cap courses in a single entry.

Naturally, this made me hopeful that the Wing Cap Switch might be waiting nearby somewhere.

Unfortunately, I remembered my original randomizer run.

The Wing Cap hadn’t appeared until Hazy Maze Cave during that seed, so there was no guarantee it would show up any time soon.

The Metal Cap course itself was fairly straightforward.

I’ve done the red coin route enough times over the years that most of it feels automatic now.

I still needed to make proper use of the Metal Cap in a few places, but nothing caused any major problems.

Before long, the star was collected and a second switch course had been crossed off the list.

The Garden Surprise

My plan for this randomizer has always been to work my way down through the castle before heading upwards.

Technically I could have visited the trapdoor that normally leads to Bowser in the Dark World.

Instead, I wanted to investigate the courtyard first.

The Boos had been waiting there for several entries now, and I wanted to know what they were hiding.

The answer turned out to be Bowser in the Dark World.

Of course it was.

Apparently Bowser’s first stage has decided it would rather spend this seed pretending to be Big Boo’s Haunt.

At least that answers one question.

Unfortunately, it also creates another.

It looks like I’m not getting out of going there after all.

End Of Entry Status

Two switch courses have been completed.

Bob-Omb Battlefield has been located.

Bowser in the Dark World has revealed its new hiding place.

The Wing Cap remains missing.

And the castle continues to make its own decisions regarding sensible level placement.

  • Stars Collected: 16 / 119
  • Lives Remaining: 11
  • Courses Cleared: 2
  • Switch Courses Cleared: 2 / 3

Continue The Journey

← Entry 3
Entry 5 →
The Hostile Castle Protocol Hub
Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Survivor Edition

The Hostile Castle Protocol entries are written after each recording session. Every answer the castle provides usually creates two more questions.

0

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 3: Finishing Rainbow Ride

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 3: Finishing Rainbow Ride

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Video: The final three stars of Rainbow Ride, an overdue visit to the big house, and the first completed late-game course of the run.

Back To The Big House

When the recording begins, I’m still standing on the crow’s nest of the floating ship. Unfortunately, staying there forever is not a viable strategy, so I climb down the pole and start trying to work out how I’m supposed to reach the big house without donating half my health bar in the process.

While looking around, I notice the falling logs below me and begin wondering whether they could be used as a shortcut.

I have absolutely no idea if the plan will work.

That has never stopped me before.

I stand on one of the logs and wait for it to descend. To my surprise, it lowers me directly onto the carpet route leading towards the house.

Good to know.

The castle had finally provided me with a safer route.

More Coins, More Questions

Working my way up past the maze, I spot a few extra coins and a pair of boxes sitting nearby.

The coins are what interest me most, so I grab them and realise my red coin total has reached seven.

That leaves only one missing.

At this point I’m assuming the final red coin is either inside the house or somewhere along the carpet route leading towards it.

The boxes are also worth investigating, but after hitting the first one I get blown clean off the platform.

Normally that would be a problem.

This time it actually helps because I needed a way back down anyway.

On the way back up, I pause for a quick look at the course menu just to make sure I haven’t missed anything obvious.

Three stars remain.

No more. No less.

The House In The Sky

It takes a few more trips along the carpets before I finally reach the big house.

Part of that delay comes from wanting to check the second box I’d spotted earlier.

Eventually, though, there is nothing left to do except step inside.

The moment I enter, it feels like I’ve interrupted some sort of gathering.

Almost every enemy in Rainbow Ride appears to be packed into the building together.

Apparently this is where they’ve all been hiding.

More importantly, I spot star number five.

I hop off the carpet to collect it and immediately notice something even more useful.

The final red coin.

One quick collection later and the red coin star appears back at the triangles.

While exploring the house, I also collect the last few coins needed for the 100 Coin Star.

Just like that, only one objective remains.

The red coin star.

After that, Rainbow Ride is finished.

The Final Star

Reaching the final star still requires one more risky move.

I attempt a long jump towards the maze and spend the entire jump wondering whether this is actually a sensible idea.

I’m fairly certain I did something similar during my previous randomizer run, but certainty feels like a luxury in this seed.

Thankfully Mario grabs the ledge.

From there, the rest is simply a matter of staying focused and not making a careless mistake.

I take my time crossing towards the star.

There is no point rushing now.

Not after all the effort it took to reach this point.

A few moments later, the final star is collected.

Rainbow Ride is complete.

Looking Ahead

Before leaving, I check the course menu one final time.

All seven stars have been collected.

The course can officially be crossed off the list.

Back in the lobby, I realise this has opened most of the doors currently available to me.

The light still isn’t shining down from the ceiling, so I clearly haven’t reached the requirement for that area yet.

What lies ahead remains a mystery.

One thing has become obvious, though.

If I’m going to keep track of where I’ve been, what courses I’ve found, and what the randomizer keeps throwing at me, I need to start taking notes.

The castle is only getting stranger.

  • Stars Collected: 14 / 119
  • Lives Remaining: 8
  • Courses Cleared: 2
  • Rainbow Ride Stars Collected: 7 / 7

Continue The Journey

← Entry 2
Entry 4 →
The Hostile Castle Protocol Hub
Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Survivor Edition

The Hostile Castle Protocol entries are written after each recording session. The castle decides the route. Keeping track of it is becoming its own challenge.

1

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 2: Rainbow Ride

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 2: Rainbow Ride

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Video: Rainbow Ride becomes the second course of the run, bringing difficult stars, risky jumps, and a growing appreciation for solid ground.

Course Number Two

A quick check of the castle doors revealed that there was only one place I could actually go next.

Normally this doorway would lead to Princess’s Secret Slide.

Instead, the randomizer had other ideas.

Course number two was Rainbow Ride.

Yep. Second course of the entire playthrough and already I was dealing with one of the game’s final levels.

At that point I knew this wasn’t going to be an easy run.

I spawned on the platform that would normally contain the first star in a regular playthrough. Unfortunately the star wasn’t there. What was there was the immediate problem of figuring out how I was supposed to get down.

There was really only one option available, so I checked where the platforms below were, took a leap of faith, and jumped.

I survived the landing.

My health bar didn’t come through quite as well.

Half of it disappeared on impact.

Exploring Rainbow Ride

After that less-than-ideal introduction, I worked my way towards one of the seesaw platforms and found my first star of the session.

I grabbed it and started exploring the area around me, collecting whatever coins I could along the way. Rainbow Ride is not the sort of course where I want to be careless with health, especially when the first thing it did was take half of it away for landing.

A Fly Guy decided to get involved as I reached the falling log platforms on the way towards the triangles. That gave me another hit to think about and a reminder that this course was not short on ways to become a problem.

The triangles were useful at least, since that seemed to be where the red coin star would appear. I made a mental note of that and kept moving.

Once I was satisfied there was nothing else useful nearby, I started working my way back up and spotted another star.

This one was floating above the first carpet route.

I also caught a glimpse of another star over by the maze.

So at least I knew where two of the remaining stars were.

Knowing where they were did not make them comfortable.

Backflips And Bad Ideas

The star above the first carpet looked awkward straight away. The carpet moves, the space is limited, and there wasn’t much room to stand around thinking about better options.

I only had one idea, and no real confidence that it would work.

I went for a backflip.

Somehow, it worked.

I collected the star and landed back on the carpet before the whole idea could become evidence against me.

From there I headed for the maze and used the same basic approach for the next star. Another backflip, another brief moment of concern, and another star collected.

At that point I had exhausted the stars I could clearly see. I checked the maze properly, grabbed the coins available, and looked around for anything else the randomizer might have hidden nearby.

There was nothing obvious left.

Which meant my options were starting to narrow.

The Big House In The Sky

With the easier routes running out, I headed for the big house.

That did not go well.

I failed the route twice and ended up down to two wedges of health. At that point, forcing the issue started to feel less like persistence and more like offering the castle a written invitation to end the run.

I decided to cut my losses and try again later.

There was still another route available, so I changed direction and headed for the floating ship instead.

That is probably the first point in this run where The Hostile Castle Protocol really felt like it was doing what it was meant to do. This was not just about collecting stars. It was about deciding when a route had become too expensive to keep pushing.

The big house could wait.

My remaining health could not.

The Floating Ship

The journey up the carpets towards the floating ship was tense, but it also gave me time to notice something I wasn’t expecting.

Rainbow Ride actually felt better with the background the randomizer had given it.

The music, unfortunately, did not have the same effect. It felt out of place, which is a shame, because the course itself already had enough going on without the soundtrack making things feel stranger.

Still, the route paid off.

I found another star on a box on the platform before the floating ship. Naturally, this one also required another backflip, because apparently Rainbow Ride had decided that was the theme of the session.

The ship itself had plenty of coins, which finally got me back to full health. After spending so much of the recording one bad hit away from serious trouble, that felt like its own reward.

I checked the crow’s nest and looked around the ship, but there was nothing else waiting for me there.

End Of Entry Status

By the end of the session, I had four of Rainbow Ride’s seven stars.

That sounds decent on paper.

It felt less decent while actually doing it.

Three of those stars were in awkward places, and the big house had already taken enough out of me to make it clear that charging ahead was not the smart choice.

Eventually I had to admit there was no getting around it. The big house in the sky would need to be dealt with.

Just not immediately.

After the amount of work it took to collect those four stars, I decided to stop there, pause the run, and compose myself before continuing in the next entry.

Jolly Roger Bay gave me a friendly start.

Rainbow Ride has corrected that misunderstanding.

  • Stars Collected: 11 / 119
  • Lives Remaining: 7
  • Courses Cleared: 1
  • Rainbow Ride Stars Collected: 4 / 7

Continue The Journey

← Entry 1
Entry 3 →
The Hostile Castle Protocol Hub
Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Survivor Edition

The Hostile Castle Protocol entries are written after each recording session. Every seed tells a different story. Some just start making threats earlier than expected.

1

Submerged: A Subnautica Survival Diary – Log 17 | The Descent Continues

Submerged: A Subnautica Survival Diary – Log 17 | The Descent Continues

Platform: Steam Deck
Mode: Survival – No Commentary

Video Entry

Apparently, the answer has been staring me directly in the face this entire time.

I checked my PDA and noticed something I had completely overlooked before: a clue mentioning a Disease Research Facility located 800 metres down near skeletal remains.

I have already been somewhere with skeletal remains 800 metres below sea level.

So naturally, I’m going back.

I take both my orange and purple tablets with me just in case. At this point I’ve learned that alien doors have a habit of refusing entry unless you happen to be carrying the correct glowing geometry.

One More Stop At The Aurora

Before descending, I decide to stop by the Aurora wreckage one more time. I had a feeling I didn’t properly loot it during my last visit.

Turns out I was right.

I found another hole in the hull leading deeper inside and eventually came across a Cyclops Thermal Module.

Very useful timing considering what I’m preparing for.

The Disease Research Facility

Once I reach the skeletal remains in the Lost River, I head left and finally find the Disease Research Facility.

To make this even worse, I realise I could have discovered this place during my previous visit if I had simply paid more attention. The only reason I found it at all was because I had been hunting for Ruby in the area and didn’t want to properly explore the structure without recording it.

Did I scout for an entrance beforehand?

No.

That would have been sensible.

Eventually I locate a way inside and immediately find somewhere to insert one of my alien tablets. The facility powers up enough for me to access alien data terminals, and suddenly several things become painfully clear all at once.

First: there may actually be a cure for the infection I’m carrying.

Second: the facility containing that cure is approximately 1.4 kilometres below sea level.

That is currently well beyond my capabilities.

For now.

While exploring further I recover Ion Cubes and additional alien data. I also learn something I already suspected: I am the last surviving crew member of the Aurora, and the quarantine enforcement platform is specifically preventing infected lifeforms from leaving the planet.

Good thing I didn’t build the Neptune Rocket yet. That would have been an incredibly brief launch sequence.

I also finally learn the true purpose of the Warpers.

They are effectively hunter-killers designed to eliminate infected targets.

Which means every encounter I’ve had with them suddenly makes a lot more sense.

So now I know what happened to the Aurora crew.

And likely what happened to the Degasi survivors too.

The Time Has Come

But now I finally have direction.

The cure exists.

It is below me.

And if I want to reach it, I need to descend another 600 metres beyond my current limit.

Which means the time has finally come.

I’ve spent the last several entries preparing for this off camera: building infrastructure, gathering materials, expanding the base, stockpiling supplies and trying to make sure I don’t descend into the planet completely unprepared.

I return to my larger base, empty out the lockers containing all the materials I’ve gathered and head for the Mobile Vehicle Bay.

I even wait for sunrise because if I’m about to construct giant survival vehicles, I may as well make it look cinematic.

The Prawn Suit

First up: the Prawn Suit.

It still doesn’t have a proper name or colour scheme yet. That sounds like a problem for future me.

But the important thing is that it exists.

And unlike Valentino, it can already reach 900 metres below sea level without immediately complaining about pressure.

That alone makes it valuable.

The Cyclops Problem

Then came the real objective: the Cyclops.

I press the button and immediately get informed that the water is too shallow.

Excellent start.

I briefly consider dragging everything back to the larger base before remembering my original base should still be located in deeper water.

So naturally I load the Mobile Vehicle Bay onto my back, climb into the Prawn Suit and begin walking across the seabed.

It is slower than travelling in Valentino.

But honestly?

Possibly just as entertaining.

Eventually I reach deeper water and try again.

Attempt number two succeeds.

I officially have a Cyclops.

The onboard AI calmly informs me the vessel is designed for a three-person crew.

Unfortunately for the Cyclops, there is only me.

We will adapt.

Preparing For The Descent

Before ending the expedition, I install a MK1 depth module into the Cyclops to improve its diving range.

Eventually it will need a MK2 or MK3 upgrade if I want to reach the 1.4 kilometre facility.

But for now, the next objective is preparation.

I want both the Cyclops and Prawn Suit outfitted as thoroughly as possible before continuing deeper into the Lost River.

I still have no idea what ultimately waits below the planet.

I only know one thing for certain:

I would rather face it prepared.

Continue The Journey

Previous Log: Submerged Log 16
Next Log: Coming Soon
Series Hub: Subnautica Hub

Related Subnautica Content

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The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 1: Back Into The Castle

The Hostile Castle Protocol – Entry 1: Back Into The Castle

Game: Super Mario 64 Randomizer
Platform: Steam Deck
Format: No Commentary

Video: Jolly Roger Bay, seven stars collected, and the first discoveries about Non-Stop Mode.

Back Into The Castle

I told myself I wouldn’t come back to this anytime soon.

Apparently that plan lasted about as long as most of my attempts at sticking to a schedule.

At the time of writing this, Krunch% is still ongoing, but the more I thought about my original Super Mario 64 Randomizer run, the more I found myself wanting another trip through the castle.

Before long, I was setting everything up again.

This time the difficulty has been increased a little. To keep things fair, I deleted the test save file I’d been using while checking the settings and started fresh.

Non-Stop Mode is enabled this time around, which means once I enter a course, I stay there until I choose to leave, run out of health, or the game decides to remove me from the level.

Given my previous experiences with randomizer chaos, none of those possibilities can be ruled out.

The Castle Opens Its Doors

With the settings chosen, it was time to see what the randomizer had prepared for me.

Its answer was Jolly Roger Bay.

That wasn’t what I expected.

In my original randomizer run, Jolly Roger Bay ended up being one of the more straightforward courses. I wasn’t about to complain, although the course itself seemed determined to make sure I didn’t become too comfortable.

The balancing pillars inside the cavern appeared to have developed a personal interest in my whereabouts and spent much of the session trying to introduce me to the water below.

Despite that, progress came quickly.

Seven Stars In Jolly Roger Bay

One by one the stars started falling.

The objectives themselves weren’t especially difficult, but the randomizer had added just enough uncertainty to keep me paying attention.

While working on the 100 Coin Star, I remembered that I would eventually need to raise the sunken ship guarded by the eel.

My assumption was that collecting the star inside the ship would force me to leave the course and re-enter before I could finish the final objective.

Apparently Non-Stop Mode had other plans.

After collecting the ship star, I was simply placed back into Jolly Roger Bay with the final objective still available.

That left only Can the Eel Come Out to Play?

Convincing the eel to cooperate took a few attempts. During that time I was fully expecting the randomizer to have hidden the star somewhere completely different.

Thankfully, tradition survived the randomization process.

The eel eventually emerged with the star still attached to its tail, allowing me to collect the seventh and final star of the course.

Jolly Roger Bay was officially cleared.

An Unexpected Discovery

With the course complete, I decided to experiment with the menu options.

Choosing to exit the course launched Mario out of the level and immediately cost me a life.

Useful information to have.

Not information I was particularly pleased to discover.

To make sure it wasn’t some strange one-off, I entered the course again and selected the option to return to the lobby instead.

This time Mario simply appeared back inside the castle with no life penalty attached.

Lesson learned.

The castle apparently charges a fee for leaving incorrectly.

End Of Entry Status

The first course is complete and seven stars are already on the board.

I also learned a few important things about how Non-Stop Mode behaves, which is knowledge that will hopefully save me from losing additional lives in the future.

I forgot to check how many stars are required for the various doors throughout the castle, but that’s a problem for the next entry.

I’m also not sure whether the Boos have appeared in the courtyard yet.

Those are both questions for future me.

For now, the castle has been surprisingly cooperative.

I’m sure that won’t last.

  • Stars Collected: 7 / 119
  • Lives Remaining: 5
  • Courses Cleared: 1

Continue The Journey

Entry 2 →


The Hostile Castle Protocol Hub


Super Mario 64 Randomizer – Survivor Edition

The Hostile Castle Protocol entries are written after each recording session. Every seed tells a different story. Some are simply more hostile than others.

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