Why I’m Not Chasing Clicks (And What That Means for Survivor Incognito)

When I started this blog, I knew 2 things for sure:

I love survival games.
I didn’t want to turn them into something stressful – for me or for you.

So I made a choice early on: I wouldn’t flood Survivor Incognito with SEO trickery, hyped-up headlines, or “Top 10 Ways to Get Views Fast!” guides. I wanted this to grow like a campfire — one spark at a time. Slow, steady, and occasionally smothered by a blizzard.

The Stats So Far

May was my first full month live. I got:

Some days it’s just one or two views. Others it’s a little spike from Reddit, Facebook, or Pinterest. It’s not explosive — but it’s real. And it’s mine.

324 views.
243 visitors.
And one mildly surprised blogger wondering who these brave souls are clicking through the fog.

Why I’m OK With Slow Growth

Because I’d rather build a small camp of readers who:

Actually enjoy what I like.
Like permadeath stories, region guides, or rabbit-stunning mishaps.
Stick around for the tone, not the traffic.

Clickbait can bring numbers, sure. But I’m not aiming for viral. I’m aiming for cozy. If a blog post of mine makes someone laugh, try something new in The Long Dark, or curse a moose in solidarity — that’s enough.

What’s Ahead

The blog will keep growing — one post, one map, one diary entry at a time. If you’re here reading this? Thank you. You’re part of what makes this space feel less like a webpage and more like a cabin with the fire lit.

Feel free to browse the hubs, subscribe for updates, or just keep coming back when the blizzards hit.

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Stick Around?

I post new survival diaries, game guides, and mildly catastrophic moments every week. Head to the homepage to see what’s been happening, or subscribe if you want updates without the clickbait.

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28th May 2025 0

The Doedicurus Incident: How I Lost a Fight I Didn’t Know I Was Starting

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Day 1 of ARK: Scorched Earth. I spawned, made some pants, and was murdered by what I thought was a friendly armoured pet rock. A true story of betrayal, bad aim, and Doedicurus rage.

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Welcome to the Desert. Here’s a Spear. Try Not To Die.

I woke up in the Scorched Earth desert with nothing but my fists and the overwhelming sense that everything around me wanted me dead.

Naturally, I punched a tree, made a pickaxe, and crafted myself a stunning outfit made entirely of itchy rags. Survival 101.

That’s when I saw it: a Doedicurus.
Round, slow-moving, and with the kind of face that said, “I mind my business.” It was adorable. I felt safe.

This would be my desert buddy. My spiky little friend.
I had plans. Big plans. I was going to tame it. Name it. Maybe ride it into battle.

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Then I Threw a Spear at It.

Now… in my defense, I meant to throw the spear next to the Doedicurus.
You know, to test it. Impress it. Establish dominance. Whatever people do in survival games.

What I didn’t mean to do was poke it directly in the face.

Cue a noise I didn’t know Doedicuruses could make.
Cue it rolling toward me like an angry bowling ball with revenge issues.

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The Fight That Wasn’t.

I panicked.
I had one more spear. I missed.
I pulled out my fists. They were… less effective.

The Doedicurus did not miss. It swung its tail like it was trying to launch me into the next biome.
It succeeded.

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Respawn, Reflect, Regret.

As I stared at the “You Died” screen, one thought ran through my head:
What the hell just happened?

I came here to survive.
I left wearing nothing but shame and a crushed dream of dinosaur friendship.

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Final Thoughts

Let it be known: Doedicuruses are not your friends.
They are boulders with feelings. And those feelings are rage.

Next time, I’m taming a Jerboa. At least they don’t roll over you for sport.

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Got a favourite chaotic moment?

Let me know in the comments or tag me on social—I’m always looking for new disasters to celebrate.
And if you enjoy these shorts, consider sharing the page with a fellow survivor.
Because nothing says “friendship” like a moose silently judging you from behind a tree.

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If you enjoyed that one, please check out my other stories here: Survivor’s Shorts

Also, please check out the full tale of my first day in ARK: Scorched Earth here: Day 1 Diary – ARK: Scorched Earth: Heat, Hubris & A Doedicurus

26th May 2025 0

I Was Just Trying to Get Home (And Then This Happened)

What started as a quiet trip back to Grey Mother’s turned into a wolf ambush. Here’s how my Customloper run nearly ended on Day 3.

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Just Me, a Skillet, and Regret

I’d just finished looting Paradise Meadows Farm. I had a fresh rabbit stew in my belly, a skillet in my backpack, and dreams of a cozy night back at Grey Mother’s. You know. Normal stuff.

Then this happened.

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That’s right. No warning. No howls. Just me, walking around a corner like I own the place, and a wolf showing up like he owns the place. Spoiler: he nearly did.

I did what any reasonable person would do—I ran back inside, popped painkillers like trail mix, and bandaged my wrist while re-evaluating all my life choices.

Moral of the story: Never trust Milton to be quiet, and always expect the game to humble you the second you start feeling safe.

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For more tales like this, please check out: Survivor’s Shorts

25th May 2025 0

Survivor’s Shorts Are Live – Because Chaos Deserves Its Own Page

Survivor’s Shorts is now live! A new page on the blog featuring my funniest, strangest, and most disastrous survival moments—bite-sized stories, full-sized regret.

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Sometimes a moment in a survival game doesn’t need a full playthrough post—it just needs a spotlight, a raised eyebrow, and maybe a bandage.

That’s where Survivor’s Shorts comes in.

It’s a new page on the blog dedicated to the little disasters. The sudden bear charges. The pancake heartbreaks. The moose lurking behind trees. All real stories from my permadeath runs, trimmed down and served with a side of sarcasm.

If you’ve ever screamed when you meant to crouch or felt betrayed by a breakfast item, you’ll feel right at home.

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What You’ll Find There

The Pancake Betrayal – Found the recipe. Found the syrup. Got betrayed by Cooking Level 4.

There is more coming soon. But here is what to expect for ones that are being drafted:

The Wolf That Interrupted My Mapping Session – Cartography meets carnivore.

The Moose Behind the Tree – A 5% spawn rate that showed up at 100% volume.

The Doedicurus That Broke My Spirit – One spear. No hits. Lots of tail.

The One-Shot Wonder – A bear, a rifle, and a moment of absolute panic… that somehow worked.

And plenty more moments coming soon.

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Check it Out Here:

Survivor’s Shorts

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Got a favourite chaotic moment?

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25th May 2025 0

The Pancake Betrayal: A Tale of Syrup, Hope, and Crushing Disappointment in The Long Dark

On Day 1, I found Lily’s pancake recipe. On Day 2, maple syrup. I dared to dream. But The Long Dark had other plans. Here’s the tragic tale of the pancakes that never were.

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How It All Began

It started like all great adventures do: with breakfast.

Day 1 of my Customloper run. I was cold, hungry, and rummaging through Milton like a raccoon with a pension. That’s when I found it. A recipe card tucked neatly into a drawer: Lily’s Pancakes.

Hope bloomed. Pancakes. In the apocalypse.

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Day 2: Syrup From The Heavens

Then it happened. The gods of calories smiled upon me.

I found maple syrup. Actual syrup. In a game where peanut butter is a rare treasure and soda is currency, this was the nectar of the ancients.

I had the recipe. I had the syrup. All I needed was… the ability to cook it?

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The Dream Dies

Enter Cooking Skill 4.

And acorn grounds.

Because apparently, pancakes in The Long Dark are a late-game luxury, not a wholesome wilderness breakfast. You need to:

Boil acorns

Grind them

Have mastered the culinary arts

Possibly offer a sacrifice to the RNG gods

I barely have shoes. But yes, let’s make artisanal pancake flour from forest nuts.

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The Aftertaste of Betrayal

So now the recipe sits in my inventory, mocking me. The syrup? Hoarded like liquid gold. And I? I chew on stale crackers in the corner, dreaming of what could’ve been.

One day, I will reach Cooking Skill 4.
One day, I will gather acorns, grind them, and make pancake batter.

But today? Today I make tea. And try not to cry.

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Final Thoughts

This game has broken me before, but never like this. Frostbite? Bear maulings? Fine. But withholding pancakes? That’s a new low.

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For more info on what Customloper is, please check out: The Long Dark Customloper Settings: Easier Interloper Survival Mode

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Want to read more tales like this? Please check out: Survivor’s Shorts

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24th May 2025 0