๐ŸŽ‰ 500 Views of Portable Chaos โ€“ Thank You for Stopping By!

Survivor Incognito has crossed 500 views! A huge thank you to everyone whoโ€™s joined the portable survival chaos. Hereโ€™s to more maps, more diaries, and probably more regrettable decisions.


57 Days. 500 Views. And At Least That Many Bad Spear Throws.

Somehow, this little survival corner of the internet has crossed 500 viewsโ€”and I want to say a huge thank you to everyone whoโ€™s visited, clicked, or accidentally found the blog while looking for something else entirely. (Hey, Iโ€™ll take it.)

When I started Survivor Incognito 57 days ago, it was just a space to share:

Survival game stories (usually featuring questionable decisions)

Maps and guides (so you donโ€™t get lost like I do)

And a lot of Switch-based chaos


Fast forward to today, and Iโ€™m genuinely thrilled that over 500 viewsโ€™ worth of folks have joined in. Whether you came for ARK maps, The Long Dark Customloper settings, Skyrim survival mishaps, or just to watch the chaos unfoldโ€”thank you.


๐Ÿš€ Whatโ€™s Next?

The chaos continues:

The Day One Diaries: ARK Edition is launching soon, filling the weekend gaps with fresh prehistoric panic.

The map pages and hubs will keep growing as I explore (and inevitably die in) new places.

More survival stories, more bad ideas, and probably more pinecone tea. Expect more information soon.


๐Ÿงญ Thanks for Joining the Journey

Iโ€™m just getting started. If youโ€™ve enjoyed the blog so far: โžก Bookmark the site
โžก Share it with fellow Switch survival fans
โžก Or just stick around for the next 500 views of portable disaster.

Hereโ€™s to the next milestoneโ€”and to thriving, not just surviving.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Nine


Day 9 takes me from ancient tombs to icy swamps. I dodge frost magic in a wooden shack, fight a dragon on a mountain, and uncover a vampire plot in Morthal. Janessa doesnโ€™t make it.

Missed day eight? Find it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Eight



Draugr Light: Dustmanโ€™s Cairn (Not That One)

The plan for the day? A classic dungeon crawl through Dustmanโ€™s Cairn. The reality? I walked into what might have been the worldโ€™s most disappointing annex. One room. A handful of draugr. Zero dramatic ambushes. Either I wandered into the wrong entrance, or the rest of the dungeon had a day off.

I poked around for secret doors because this is Skyrim and you never know, but found nothing. Just cobwebs, bad lighting, and the distinct feeling that Todd Howard was laughing somewhere.

Loot? Forgettable. Mood? Slightly stabby.


Bear vs. Blade at Greenspring Hollow

Onwards to Greenspring Hollow. As expected, it came with the usual occupant: a bear with severe anger management issues. True to form, it attacked on sight and asked no questions.

A few solid strikes put the beast down. I looted what little there was and handed the haul to Janessaโ€”my trusted pack mule and silent partner in crime. I didnโ€™t realize at the time that this might be her final job.


Drelaโ€™s Cottage: Hospitality Denied

A bit further along, I stumbled across Drelaโ€™s Cottage. Hopeful for shelter or at least a warm fire, I stepped inside.

That was my mistake.

Without so much as a hello, Drela greeted me with frost magic to the face. Fortunately, this wasnโ€™t my first time dealing with homicidal wizards. I chugged a Resist Frost potion, ducked behind the suspiciously durable wooden pillar in the center of the room, and played peek-a-boo until Drela ran out of breathโ€”and life.

The loot was unimpressive, but I left with my body temperature (mostly) intact and my life expectancy extended for at least another few hours.


Goodbye Janessa, Hello Dragon

At this point, I decided to cut across the mountains instead of following the road. Direct lines are always faster in theoryโ€”less so when those lines involve climbing sheer cliffs in sub-zero weather.

Halfway up, the weather turned, and I heard the familiar sound of a dragon announcing its presence.

The battle was brutal. I managed to land the final blow, but at a terrible cost: Janessa was gone. Whether she was roasted or knocked off the mountain mid-fight, Iโ€™ll never know. There was no body, no dramatic final wordsโ€”just an empty follower slot and a heavy sense of loss.

RIP Janessa.
Overburdened. Underpaid. Better than most.


Welcome to Morthal: Population, Suspicious

I limped into Morthal alone. Freezing. Exhausted. Perfect conditions to stumble into a vampire conspiracy.

The innkeeper filled me in: rumors of bloodsuckers, a burned-down house, and strange happenings. The Jarl, apparently too busy to care, delegated the matter to me after some light investigative work revealed Alva wasnโ€™t quite as human as advertised.

Following a brief round of sleuthing, a confrontation, and the discovery of vampire tomfoolery, I returned to the Jarl. With the truth exposed, she finally took noticeโ€”and handed me a new assignment: eliminate the so-called Master Vampire controlling things from the shadows.

Because of course, thereโ€™s always a hierarchy.


End of Day Nine

No warmth. No Janessa. And now I’m tasked with taking out a vampire overlord while half my gear capacity disappeared along with my companion.

Classic Skyrim.


If you want to know more, please check out The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Survival Hub

๐Ÿงญ Weekly Recap โ€“ Survive, Sleep, Repeat

Catch up on the latest survival stories from Survivor Incognito, including permadeath tips, The Long Darkโ€™s Customloper progress, Skyrim Survival struggles, and our chaotic first steps in Grounded. Your weekly roundup of cozy chaos and portable panic is here!


Monday:

๐Ÿ’€ How I Handle Permadeath (And Still Sleep at Night)
I laid out my personal rules for permadeath, how I cope when a character dies a stupid death (usually of my own doing), and why it somehow keeps me coming back for more. Survival tip: Sleep helps. So does sarcasm.

Read it here: How I Handle Permadeath (and Still Sleep at Night)


Tuesday

๐Ÿ“œ Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day Three
We went further out to sea, saw things we probably shouldnโ€™t have, and learned that fish aren’t the only things lurking in the dark. Spoiler: sanity is overrated.

Read it here: Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day Three


Wednesday

๐Ÿ” Customloper โ€“ Day Two
Mountain Town continues to be less โ€œcosy alpine retreatโ€ and more โ€œconveniently located death trap.โ€ At least we are still in one piece. Mostly.

Read it here: Customloper Diaries Day Two: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion


Thursday

๐Ÿ—ก Skyrim Survival โ€“ Day Eight
Frostbite, bandits, and the general annoyance of being overencumbered after picking up one too many cabbages. Classic Skyrim survival energy.

Read it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat Day Eight


Friday:

๐Ÿก Grounded โ€“ Day One
Honey, I Shrunk the Panic. First day in the backyard brought bugs, dehydration, and a steep learning curve. That aphid had it coming.

Read it here: The Backyard Trials: Grounded Day One โ€“ Honey, I Lost Myself in the Backyard


Coming next week:

๐ŸงŠ More Long Dark, more Dark Waters, more Skyrim, and a deeper dive into the backyard horrors of Grounded. If weโ€™re lucky, there may even be fireflies. If not, probably just death by thirst.

I’ll also hopefully have the Day One Diary for Don’t Starve up. And will explain the the rules for Snowrunner Survival. But these are both hopefully as I’m currently under the weather at the time of this going up. Thank goodness for being able to schedule posts though.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Eight

Missed the previous day? Find it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Seven


You Can’t Just Plant Cabbages & Hope For The Best

The day began innocently enough: me, a farmer. I planted crops. I surveyed my new property. I even admired the way the fence sort of stood up straight if you squinted.

Then came the harsh truth: someone needs to run the place. A steward, apparently. I considered Janessa. But Iโ€™ve seen what happens when I leave her behind โ€” bandits get braver, and I get deader. So the plantation gets to manage itself for now. Iโ€™ve got adventuring to do.

Rorikstead Road Trip & Unwanted Job Offers

headed west toward Rorikstead, thinking I might find a decent recruit or just a quiet village to loot โ€” I mean, explore.

Thatโ€™s when the courier found me. Another letter. This time from the Jarl of Falkreath, who has apparently heard great things about me. Which is wild, considering Iโ€™ve never been to Falkreath. Either heโ€™s got spies, or the Skyrim rumor mill is on fire.

The jarl wants to make me his thane. Which Iโ€™m sure is perfectly normal and not part of some elaborate trap.

Also in Rorikstead: the Alikโ€™r warriors from Whiterun were waiting to follow up on the Redguard woman situation. They asked me to lure her to the stables. Classic bait job. I agreed because gold.

Quest Cleanup, Sneaky Illnesses & Ambush Season

I polished off the โ€œWhile the Catโ€™s Awayโ€ questline and handed some newly found armor to Janessa, who continues to be my personal vault and bodyguard.

Then I realized I had ataxia, which explained why I suddenly couldnโ€™t pick locks to save my life. One quick sip of a cure disease potion, and we were back in business. No need for a healer when you carry your pharmacy.

On the road again, things took a turn. First East Empire guards ambushed me. Then bandits showed up, probably thinking I was weak from the first fight. Jokeโ€™s on them โ€” I was just angry.

I took a torch off one of the guards. Light is life out here. Especially when you’re a lizard.

Broken Fang Cave: Mistakes Were Made

For reasons even I donโ€™t understand, I went into Broken Fang Cave. It looked vampire-y, smelled vampire-y, and yes โ€” it was vampire-y.

Two of them. One was a master vampire, which seems overkill when the total staff is two. I barely made it out alive, with Janessa doing most of the heavy lifting. I now hate caves even more than I did yesterday.

Also: I lost my horse. Twice. I parked it near the cave, then it vanished. Reappeared later. Skyrim horses operate on pocket dimensions. I refuse to believe otherwise.

Whiterun Wrap-Up & Moral Ambiguity

Back in Whiterun, I sold off excess loot and completed the Redguard woman questline. Yes, I lured someone into a trap. No, I donโ€™t feel great about it. Yes, I took the 500 gold. We all have bills to pay.

That shouldโ€™ve been the end of the day. It wasnโ€™t

A Red Horse, A New Bond, & Horse Armor

On my way out of town again โ€” this time for Ustengrav and the Horn of Jurgen Windcaller โ€” I got distracted. Again. By a red horse. A wild one.

Naturally, I tamed it. Took it back to Whiterun. Named it Loki, because itโ€™s clearly a chaos beast in horse form. Gave it armor. Declared it mine.

Silent Moons Camp: I Finally Stealth Archer Properly

I made one last attempt to head toward Ustengrav, but Silent Moons Camp was too close to ignore. And finally โ€” finally โ€” I had a stealth archer moment worth writing about. I took down bandits without being spotted. Just arrows in the dark and confused grunts. Beautiful.

Found good loot. Gave it to Janessa. Called it a night.

What Actually Got Done Today

โ€ข Planted some vegetables

โ€ข Discovered I own a farm I donโ€™t want to manage

โ€ข Was scouted for a thaneship I didnโ€™t apply for

โ€ข Got ambushed โ€” repeatedly

โ€ข Became a vampire hunter (reluctantly)

โ€ข Caught a chaos horse named Loki

โ€ข Lived the stealth archer dream

โ€ข Delayed the Greybeards. Again.


For more information, please check out The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Survival Hub

Hereโ€™s Whatโ€™s Coming This Week โ€“ June 16 to 22

From fishing mishaps to Skyrim sniping and a custom cold-weather panic run, hereโ€™s whatโ€™s planned this week on Survivor Incognito.

The Week Ahead

The schedule is packed โ€” except for Monday, which is still being negotiated with the universe. But the rest of the week? Solid chaos incoming:

โ“ Monday โ€“ ???
Letโ€™s call it… a mystery. Maybe a new Survivorโ€™s Short? Maybe I finally win a wolf fight? Maybe I stare at a snow shelter and question my life choices. Stay tuned.

๐ŸŒŠ Tuesday โ€“ Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day Three
Debt cleared, upgrades unlocked, and still no idea whatโ€™s lurking beneath the boat. Letโ€™s fish. Letโ€™s panic.

โ„ Wednesday โ€“ Customloper Diaries Day 2: Blizzards, Boots, and Baseball Cap Confusion
Day 2 of my Customloper survival in The Long Dark. Mild weather? Never heard of her.

๐Ÿ—ก Thursday โ€“ Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival โ€“ Day Eight
Skyrim continues. The Argonianโ€™s sneak streak lives on, unless someone spots him โ€” in which case, panic magic it is.

๐Ÿช“ Friday โ€“ The Backyard Trials: Grounded Day One โ€“ Honey, I Lost Myself in the Backyard
Itโ€™s tiny, itโ€™s deadly, and Iโ€™ve already lost my bearings. Welcome to Grounded permadeath.

More Survival Incoming

Thereโ€™s more to come, including mystery Mondays, drowned diaries, and maybe a few unexpected wolves. Stick around โ€” the chaos is scheduled.

Here’s What You Missed This Week โ€“ Survival Recap


From rabbits with better reflexes than me to undead sniper ambushes, hereโ€™s the full recap of what went live this week on Survivor Incognito.

The Week in Review

Another week, another round of chaos, permadeath, and poor life choices in the name of survival. Letโ€™s take a look at what went live:

๐Ÿ‡ Monday: Survivorโ€™s Shorts โ€“ The Rabbit Which Got Up and Left
Yes, I stunned a rabbit. No, I didnโ€™t catch it. Yes, it got up, looked me dead in the eyes, and walked away like it had somewhere better to be.

Survivorโ€™s Shorts: The Rabbit Got Up and Left Like I Wasnโ€™t Even Worth It


๐ŸŒŠ Tuesday: Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day Two
The paranoia sets in. Fish with extra eyes, fog with extra vibes, and a to-do list that mostly reads “donโ€™t die.” Just another day on the water.

Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day Two


โ„ Wednesday: The Cold Chronicles โ€“ Day Six
Itโ€™s cold. Itโ€™s bleak. There are wolves. So naturally, I went exploring. Because thatโ€™s never gone wrong before.

The Cold Chronicles Day Six: A Voyageurโ€™s Tale of The Long Dark


๐Ÿ—ก Thursday: Skyrim Survival โ€“ Day Seven
Sneak, snipe, and regret. The Argonian continues the journey through frost, bandits, and the occasional vampire attack.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Seven


๐ŸงŸ Friday: Day One Diary โ€“ Zombie Army Trilogy
The zombies were waiting. The rifle jammed (emotionally, not mechanically). Welcome to permadeath mode, where the first day might also be the last.

Survivor Incognito: Zombie Army Trilogy โ€“ Day One Diary


Stay Frosty (and maybe carry a torch)

More survival tales are just around the corner. Thanks for reading, and remember โ€” if something looks too quiet, itโ€™s probably a wolf.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Seven

Missed the previous day? Find it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day Six


Where Am I and What’s a Spellbook?

I set out from Ivarstead with big plans: make it back to Whiterun, restock, maybe actually figure out what Iโ€™m doing. Instead, I quickly discovered that I had absolutely no idea where I was going.

Rather than rely on my highly suspect sense of direction, I remembered Iโ€™d picked up a spellbook for Clairvoyance at some point. I read it, learned the spell, and just like that, I could now cast Skyrimโ€™s version of GPS. A glowing blue trail lit the way toward my next objectiveโ€”assuming I had enough magicka to keep it active, which I didnโ€™t, but the principle was there.

A Lonely Cabin, a Note, and a Rabbit Named Thistle

While following the vague trail of clairvoyance (and mild panic), I came across an abandoned alchemistโ€™s shack in the woods. Inside was the usualโ€”alchemy gear, some scattered ingredientsโ€”and a rabbit. The note next to the rabbit revealed its name: Thistle. The game then offered me the option to feed Thistle a carrot, which I did.

Now I have a rabbit.
No dramatic bonding scene, no magical contract. Just: โ€œYou fed me, I guess weโ€™re friends now.โ€

I decided to leave Thistle at the cabin for now. Theyโ€™re safer there than following me through wolf-infested terrain, and Iโ€™m not quite ready to explain rabbit-related injuries to guards.

Wolves, Hunters, and the Temptation of Horse Theft

Continuing toward Whiterun, I encountered the usual:

A few wolves, which I dispatched with mild irritation.

A hunter on horseback who offered to trade. I was tempted to take the horse, but noticed they only had 10 gold to their name. Figured they needed it more than me.


Took the high road. The game didnโ€™t reward me for it. Standard Skyrim.

Back to Riverwood and a Missing Torch

I passed through Riverwood and unloaded some gear. Remember the torch I accidentally sold to the Riverwood Trader earlier? Gone. Apparently, it was in high demand. Either that or it spontaneously combusted.

Sold some junk, didnโ€™t freeze to death, counted that as a win.

Thieves and Stable Investments

Just outside Whiterun, a thief jumped me. Bad call on their part. Iโ€™m increasingly well-armed and increasingly done with nonsense. They dropped a few coins and a reminder that Skyrim has no shortage of opportunists.

At the Whiterun stables, I finally bought a horse. Cost me a chunk of gold, but now Iโ€™m mobile. Then I saw I could buy armor for the horse and, well, Iโ€™m not made of stone. Gold well spent. The horse now looks like it could take on a sabre cat solo.

Meet Jenassa: Professional Help for Hire

Instead of chasing down the Companions again, I walked into the Drunken Huntsman and hired Jenassa, a Dunmer mercenary with a very straightforward business model: pay her and sheโ€™ll stab things. I like her.

She joined up, and we set off toward Rorikstead, where I figured we could find some peace and maybe not be attacked by anything for five minutes.

Haunted Houses and Unexpected Assassins

On the way, we found a run-down plantation with a ghost standing out front. Naturally, the ghost was hostileโ€”because nothing in Skyrim is just there for atmosphere. I dealt with it and went inside, triggering the Unquiet Dead quest.

Thatโ€™s when an assassin ambushed me inside the house. Because of course they did.

Turns out the Dark Brotherhood wants me dead. Not sure what I did. Maybe I fed a rabbit that was on their hit list. Either way, they failed. I looted a contract from the assassinโ€™s corpse confirming someone wants me very much gone.

After dealing with the ghost problem, I was handed the keys to the plantation. I now own a haunted house with no furnishings, no heat, and no privacyโ€”but itโ€™s mine.

Dayโ€™s End: Horse, Home, Henchwoman, and Homicide

So to recap:

Learned to use Clairvoyance to avoid constant map-checking

Adopted a rabbit

Resisted temptation to steal

Bought a horse and upgraded it

Hired Jenassa as backup

Survived an assassination attempt

Acquired real estate via murder and ghosts


Not exactly restful, but itโ€™s progress.


For more information on this, please check out: The Elder Scrolls: Skyrim Survival Hub

Hereโ€™s Whatโ€™s Coming This Week โ€“ June 9th – June 14th Preview

Survival, stunned rabbits, fishing horrors, and a lot of undead. Hereโ€™s whatโ€™s scheduled for this week on Survivor Incognito.


The Week Ahead

Weโ€™re keeping the survival streak alive with another full lineup of chaos, questionable decisions, and more permadeath fun. Hereโ€™s whatโ€™s coming your way:

๐Ÿ‡ Monday: Survivorโ€™s Shorts โ€” The One Involving The Stunned Rabbit

Youโ€™ll see. It involves a rabbit, a stone, and my general lack of coordination.

๐ŸŒŠ Tuesday: Dark Waters โ€“ Day 2

The sea grows darker, the fish get weirder, and the Madness meter keeps rising. Day 2 of Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival goes live.

โ„ Wednesday: The Cold Chronicles โ€“ Day 6

The Long Dark journey continues. More cold, more danger, and probably more bad choices.

๐Ÿ—ก Thursday: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat โ€“ Day 7

The Argonianโ€™s Skyrim Survival Mode adventure rolls into Day 7. Expect more sneaking, more sniping, and definitely more repeat.

๐ŸงŸโ€โ™‚๏ธ Friday: Day One Diary โ€“ Zombie Army Trilogy

The undead rise just in time for Friday. Itโ€™s a Day One Diary entry for Zombie Army Trilogy, and letโ€™s just say the welcome committee was enthusiastic.


See You in the Wild

As always, stay tuned across the week as each new post goes live โ€” and feel free to place bets on which run falls apart first.

Hereโ€™s What You Missed This Week โ€“ June 1st Week Recap

Catch up on this weekโ€™s survival chaos: bears, zombies, Customloper runs, permadeath hubs, and one very questionable Interloper experience.


This Week in Review

Another week of survival, panic, and the occasional questionable decision. Hereโ€™s what went live across the blog:

๐Ÿป Monday: Bear Meets Panic Rifle

Sometimes you bring a rifle to a bear encounter. Sometimes the rifle just brings panic. This week kicked off with a new Survivor’s Shorts entry where I learned that even with a firearm, bears remain terrifying.

The One-Shot Wonder: Bear Meets Panic Rifle


๐ŸŒŠ Tuesday: Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day One

The boat launched, the paranoia began. My permadeath Dredge run officially set sail with the start of Dark Waters. The ocean may look calm, but we both know it isnโ€™t.

Dark Waters: A Dredge Survival โ€“ Day 1


โ„๏ธ Wednesday: Customloper โ€“ Day One

The Customloper experiment is underway. A bit Interloper, a bit Voyageur, a lot of me desperately hoping I donโ€™t freeze to death before leaving Mountain Town. So far, soโ€ฆ technically alive.

Customloper Diaries Day 1: A Woollen Windy Welcome to Milton

Side note, The Cold Chronicles and Customloper Diaries will be alternating weeks for the foreseeable. Until one of them ends of course. So next week will be the next entry The Cold Chronicles


๐Ÿ—ก Thursday: Skyrim Survival โ€“ Sneak, Snipe, Repeat โ€“ Day Six

The Argonian saga continues. Day Six saw more stealth, more arrows, and the usual healthy amount of questionable life choices while wandering Skyrimโ€™s frozen wilderness.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Suvival Day Six


๐Ÿช“ Friday: Grounded Permadeath Hub Goes Live

The hub page for The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath is officially up and running! Rules, info, and upcoming entries are all ready for you.
I also teased whatโ€™s coming next Friday: a special Day One Diary for Zombie Army Trilogyโ€”fittingly set for Friday the 13th.

The Backyard Trials: Grounded Permadeath

Zombie Army Trilogy โ€“ Day One Diary Coming This Friday the 13th


๐Ÿ’€ Saturday: The Desolation Point Debacle

Today’s Survivor’s Shorts took us into Desolation Point on Interloper. It didnโ€™t go well. (Shocking, I know.)

Survivorโ€™s Shorts: Interloper โ€” The Desolation Point Debacle


What’s Coming Next

The backlog grows stronger. Next week, expect more from Dark Waters, Customloper, Skyrim Survival, and our first look at Zombie Army Trilogy. More danger, more chaos, more very avoidable mistakes.

Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Suvival Day Six

Missed the previous day? Find it here: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Day 5


The Great Trek to High Hrothgar (Or Why Iโ€™ll Never Trust Klimmek Again)

After a night warming my scales at the inn in Ivarstead, I figured it was time to climb the famed 7,000 Steps to High Hrothgar. Fresh air, spiritual enlightenment, maybe a new shout or twoโ€”it sounded downright relaxing.

That illusion shattered when Klimmek asked if Iโ€™d kindly lug a crate of supplies up to the Greybeards. Sure, I thought. Whatโ€™s a little frostbite between friends?

Reader, I barely survived.

About 1,000 steps up, my torch fizzled out, the cold turned vicious, and wolves started popping out like theyโ€™d RSVPโ€™d to a โ€œFeast on the Dragonbornโ€ party. Frostbite crept in, my health bar cried for help, and I wondered if Klimmek would refund my soul when this all went horribly wrong.

High Hrothgar: The Frostbitten Sanctuary

I eventually stumbled into High Hrothgar, shivering and looking like Iโ€™d rolled down a glacierโ€”which, to be fair, I nearly had.

The Greybeards greeted me with the social energy of a fog bank. I grunted, they whispered, and before I knew it, I had new words of power: Ro (from Unrelenting Force) and Wuld (from Whirlwind Sprint). Great additions to my skillset, assuming I live long enough to use them.

They then dropped a fresh quest in my lap: go retrieve Jurgen Windcallerโ€™s horn. I nodded sagely while internally screaming, โ€œCan I at least thaw out first?โ€

Also, side noteโ€”where do these guys sleep? Thereโ€™s no beds, no chairs, not even a suspicious rug. Just stone, fog, and mystery. True minimalist vibes.

Mountain-Goating for Fun and Survival

Quest in hand, I faced the return journey. I couldโ€™ve taken the stairs like a rational beingโ€ฆ but no. I turned into a Skyrim-certified mountain goat and launched myself off cliffs like gravity was a suggestion.

Somehow, I survived the descent without a single injury. I donโ€™t know how physics works in Skyrim, but Iโ€™m not questioning it. If I can descend a mountain via sheer chaos and dumb luck, then thatโ€™s now the official route.

Cultists, Chickens, and Chaos

Back in Ivarstead, I expected peace and mead. Instead, I got cultists. Hooded weirdos stormed in, shouting about me being a โ€œfalse Dragonborn.โ€

Bold of them to assume I had the energy to argue.

Luckily, they made the mistake of attacking in town. Between the guards, the villagers, andโ€”yesโ€”the chickens, it became a bloodbath. Chickens pecked. Guards slashed. I think a goat even got involved. The cultists didnโ€™t stand a chance.

After the dust (and feathers) settled, I looted their robes and found a note. Turns out theyโ€™re part of some whole โ€œthere can only be one Dragonbornโ€ thing. Neat. Add that to the to-do listโ€”right under โ€œdonโ€™t freeze to death.โ€

Klimmekโ€™s Generosity and Collapse Oโ€™Clock

I reported back to Klimmek, who handed me 500 gold for my troubles. Honestly? Worth it. I delivered your box, fought wolves, scaled a mountain, survived a cultist ambush, and nearly died multiple times.

I crawled back to the inn, got a room, and collapsed into bed. Survival: barely achieved. Muscles: on strike. Brain: frozen.

Next Timeโ€ฆ

Time to track down that horn. Or maybe just follow the Greybeards around to figure out what they do when no oneโ€™s looking. Do they nap standing up? Meditate until they astral project? Organise humming contests?

Weโ€™ll find outโ€”if I survive another day.

Want to follow the journey from the beginning? Please check out: Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Skyrim Survival Hub


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