Category: Behind The Blog

The Cold Chronicles Day 3: A Voyageur’s Tale of The Long Dark

The Cold Chronicles – Day 3: Gut Decisions in Crumbling Highway

Difficulty: Voyageur
Optional Features: Cougar enabled (because I enjoy living dangerously)

Day 2 Recap

Read Day 2 here — the short version? I wandered Desolation Point chasing matches, looted the Riken, threw a torch at my first wolf (and it worked!), and finally scored a full box of matches from a glovebox. Tomorrow’s goal: find Coastal Highway. Simple, right?

Morning Plans and Rabbit Runs

They say fortune favours the bold. I say fortune clearly didn’t factor in moose. Today’s plan was simple: head to the mine in Desolation Point and hopefully find something sharp, pointy, or otherwise capable of convincing wildlife to leave me alone.

On the way, I spotted a couple of rabbits. One bolted like I owed it money, but the second caught a well-aimed stone to the noggin. Dinner sorted.

The Bridge Standoff

Feeling pretty pleased with myself, I pressed on — until I heard the low, echoing howl of a wolf somewhere nearby. Torch lit, I marched on with all the fake confidence I could muster. That’s when I saw it: the bridge to the mine… and the moose blocking the way.

He’s Just Standing There Menacingly!

I’ve heard the stories. I’ve seen the clips. One charge and that thing could turn my survival diary into a cautionary tale. I executed a tactical retreat to the church and consoled myself with some warm peaches.

The Safer Detour

That’s when I remembered: there’s another mine that leads to Crumbling Highway — the actual route to Coastal Highway. Longer walk, but blissfully moose-free. That’s a win in my book.

Abandoned Mine No. 3 Map

Inside, things were looking up: a lantern (finally, real light!), more matches, a healthy stack of coal, and best of all — a glorious, rusty but fully functional hatchet. I nearly wept. Finally, a tool I could use on wood, carcasses, or anything foolish enough to cross me.

Into the Crumbling Highway

Crumbling Highway Map

I emerged into Crumbling Highway and looted a nearby car — jackpot, more matches. The game was either feeling generous or setting me up for something terrible.

Birds circled in the distance, and experience told me that meant free meat. I found a deer carcass alongside a rabbit one, made a fire, tossed on some coal, and cooked up my finds. That’s when the wolves arrived.

Torch Trouble

Torch in hand, I hurled it at them like a dramatic warning shot… and they didn’t even flinch. Either these wolves were seasoned veterans, or my throw lacked gravitas. With panic rising, I did what any brave survivor would: sprinted to the nearest car and slammed the door like it was base in a childhood game of tag.

Basement Refuge and Hide Work

From the car, I spotted a cluster of abandoned buildings. Spooky, yes, but one had a basement. I dashed for it, dove inside, and finally found some peace. While holed up, I harvested spare clothes — accidentally shredding the socks I was wearing — and dropped my hides and guts for curing. Fancy, I know.

Tomorrow, the plan is simple: reach Coastal Highway. Hopefully with fewer moose and more matches.

Day 3 Pro Tips (Switch Edition)

  • Moose will ruin your day — avoid if possible
  • Alternate mines can bypass dangerous wildlife
  • Coal is great for long-lasting fires
  • Always keep a basement or vehicle escape route in mind
Continue the journey:
Previous: Day 2  | 
Next: Day 4

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The Cold Chronicles Day 2: A Voyageur’s Tale of The Long Dark

The Cold Chronicles – Day 2: Wolves, Mines, and Questionable Life Choices

Difficulty: Voyageur
Optional Features: Cougar enabled (because I enjoy living dangerously)

Day 1 Recap

Read Day 1 here if you missed it — the short version? Dropped into Desolation Point with nothing but the clothes on my back, made it to the lighthouse without being eaten, looted like a raccoon in a campsite, and committed my first rabbit-related crimes. Two bunnies down, a stomach full of cooked meat, and a warm(ish) bed to end the day.

Match Quest: The Early Hours

Day 2 began with a clear goal and absolutely no plan: find matches. They’re the sacred spark sticks of survival, and I was running low. The Processing Plant seemed like a solid bet — a big building, lots of corners, and surely a drawer or two with something useful.

Then I opened the lighthouse door and got my first real look at the day’s weather: howling wind and sideways snow. The kind of blizzard that whispers, “You could stay inside.” I, naturally, ignored it.

Loot Tour: Trailers and Processing Plant

First stop: the nearby trailers. They’re warm-up loot spots in more ways than one. I found food and extra clothes — which is always good — but still no matches. My hands were as matchless as my confidence was misplaced.

On to the main event: the Processing Plant. I approached with the cautious optimism of someone opening a mystery box. Inside: more food, more clothes, but no fire-starting salvation. If the apocalypse had a fashion week, I’d be ready to walk the runway, but actual fire? Not today.

Ship of Dreams (and Disappointments)

Not ready to give up, I headed for the Riken — the frozen ship that looks like it’s been halfway through sinking for years. It didn’t have my matches, but it did cough up an insulated flask. Now I could drink warm coffee in style — assuming I ever managed to heat any.

Does This Come In Other Colours?

The Torch Throw Heard ’Round the Lighthouse

Back at the lighthouse, I made a fire with my dwindling supply of matches (eleven left), boiled water, brewed coffee, and sat sipping it like the Arctic’s most underpaid barista. But I needed a bigger plan — Coastal Highway beckoned.

I grabbed my curing rabbit hide and gut (never leave home without them!) and set out. That’s when I realised I had absolutely no idea which direction to go. To make things worse, my 24-hour wolf-free grace period had expired.

One appeared out of the snow. I panicked. I threw my torch at it. By some miracle, it worked — the wolf bolted, and I stood there triumphant, heart pounding like a drum solo.

Match Jackpot

I ducked into a nearby car to regroup, mostly to breathe. Inside the glovebox, the game rewarded me for my bravery (or blind luck): a full box of matches. It felt like winning the lottery — if the lottery was cold, damp, and came with wolves.

I returned to the lighthouse with a new plan, new matches, and a healthy respect for panic-based problem-solving. Tomorrow? I find that highway. Or at least walk in a straight line until it feels like I do.

Day 2 Pro Tips (Switch Edition)

  • Matches are life — always keep a reserve
  • Trailers are great early loot stops
  • Torch-throwing is surprisingly effective on wolves
  • Don’t assume you know where you’re going — check the map
Continue the journey:
Previous: Day 1  | 
Next: Day 3

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Day 1 Diary – The Long Dark – Frozen Fails: The Day The Ice Got Me

I launched The Long Dark on Voyageur difficulty with the confidence of someone who had watched exactly one survival documentary and thought, “Yeah, I’ve got this.” I didn’t. Not even a little.

Editor’s note: This entry recounts my first-ever time playing The Long Dark, years before I established the permadeath rules for current runs. Everything that happened was real, just with less structure (and more falling into lakes).

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Step One: Make It Harder Than It Needs to Be

The game practically begged me to start in Mystery Lake or Mountain Town. But I wanted an adventure. So, I hit “Random.” I figured, why not spice things up? Worst-case scenario, I get eaten by a wolf. That would’ve been merciful.

Instead, I was dropped into Bleak Inlet—also known as “You Shouldn’t Be Here Yet Bay.” Picture a desolate, wind-scoured wasteland where the trees are tired, the wolves are angry, and the weather is doing its best impression of a meat freezer. I had no map, no shelter, and no clue where I was. Perfect.

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Step Two: Get Lost Immediately

I wandered for a while, mostly in circles. My grand strategy was “head in a direction and hope it works out.” Spoiler: it didn’t. Snow was blowing sideways. Visibility dropped to “guess and pray.” My temperature gauge wasn’t just falling—it was plummeting like a rock.

Eventually, I stumbled onto a frozen river. Did I consider the structural integrity of that ice? No. Did I remember the game has breakable ice mechanics? Also no. I just thought, “Shortcut!”

Cue sound of cracking.

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Step Three: Fall In. Twice.

I broke through the ice and dropped into freezing water. If you’ve never experienced The Long Dark’s cold mechanics, here’s a summary: get wet, get cold, get dead. I scrambled out, shivering and soaked, thinking I could recover. A rookie mistake. I had no firestarter, no dry clothes, and no shelter.

Then—because I’m nothing if not consistent—I fell in again. Same ice. Same mistake. Same freezing regret.

At this point, hypothermia set in. I couldn’t sprint. My vision blurred. My character audibly groaned in despair, and honestly, same.

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Step Four: Denial and Ruined Shacks

Still clinging to the illusion of survival, I limped along until I found what could generously be called a shack. More accurately, it was a few planks of wood pretending to be a building. No fire barrel. No door. Just wind-chill and a growing sense of dread.

I checked my inventory:

One flare

Some cattail stalks

Clothes so wet they might as well have been lake water

No matches

This was not a survival situation. This was an obituary in progress.

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Bonus Step: Existential Reflection

As I sat there, frostbitten and fully aware I was about to die, I had time to think about my life choices. Mainly:

Why didn’t I bring a torch?

Why didn’t I start in Mystery Lake?

Why does the game hate me?

But mostly: Why did I fall in the same ice twice?

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My First Death, But Not My Last

Eventually, the screen faded to black. Cause of death: hypothermia. Time survived: not long enough to justify the bravado I started with. It wasn’t a glorious end. It wasn’t even a dramatic one. It was just wet, cold failure.

But The Long Dark teaches by punishing. And I learned. Next time, I’d check the map. Next time, I’d respect the ice. And next time, I’d maybe, just maybe, not hit Random.

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Switch Controls (For People Who Prefer Not to Drown)

Move: Left Stick (try not to walk into water)

Run: Hold Right Trigger (don’t sprint blindly across ice)

Inventory: ‘X’ Button (check it before you’re soaking wet)

Interact: ‘A’ Button (essential for picking up supplies you actually need)

Crouch: ‘B’ Button (useful for sneaking… or just giving up quietly)

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Takeaways

Mistake Consequence What to Do Instead

Random spawn in Bleak Inlet Spawned in the worst possible region Choose Mystery Lake or Mountain Town
Walked on thin ice Fell in. Twice. Stick to snow-covered paths
No firestarter Couldn’t dry off, froze to death Always carry matches or a torch
No plan or direction Got lost in a blizzard Learn the map or follow landmarks

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Final Thoughts

The Long Dark doesn’t coddle. It teaches with pain. My first run was a disaster—but a valuable one. If nothing else, I now know that ice is not to be trusted, Bleak Inlet is not your friend, and maybe—just maybe—I should listen when a game says, “Start here.”

And yes, I will absolutely be trying again.

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Read More Day One Diaries Here

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I Was Just Trying to Get Home (And Then This Happened)

What started as a quiet trip back to Grey Mother’s turned into a wolf ambush. Here’s how my Customloper run nearly ended on Day 3.

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Just Me, a Skillet, and Regret

I’d just finished looting Paradise Meadows Farm. I had a fresh rabbit stew in my belly, a skillet in my backpack, and dreams of a cozy night back at Grey Mother’s. You know. Normal stuff.

Then this happened.

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That’s right. No warning. No howls. Just me, walking around a corner like I own the place, and a wolf showing up like he owns the place. Spoiler: he nearly did.

I did what any reasonable person would do—I ran back inside, popped painkillers like trail mix, and bandaged my wrist while re-evaluating all my life choices.

Moral of the story: Never trust Milton to be quiet, and always expect the game to humble you the second you start feeling safe.

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For more tales like this, please check out: Survivor’s Shorts

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Survivor’s Shorts Are Live – Because Chaos Deserves Its Own Page

Survivor’s Shorts is now live! A new page on the blog featuring my funniest, strangest, and most disastrous survival moments—bite-sized stories, full-sized regret.

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Sometimes a moment in a survival game doesn’t need a full playthrough post—it just needs a spotlight, a raised eyebrow, and maybe a bandage.

That’s where Survivor’s Shorts comes in.

It’s a new page on the blog dedicated to the little disasters. The sudden bear charges. The pancake heartbreaks. The moose lurking behind trees. All real stories from my permadeath runs, trimmed down and served with a side of sarcasm.

If you’ve ever screamed when you meant to crouch or felt betrayed by a breakfast item, you’ll feel right at home.

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What You’ll Find There

The Pancake Betrayal – Found the recipe. Found the syrup. Got betrayed by Cooking Level 4.

There is more coming soon. But here is what to expect for ones that are being drafted:

The Wolf That Interrupted My Mapping Session – Cartography meets carnivore.

The Moose Behind the Tree – A 5% spawn rate that showed up at 100% volume.

The Doedicurus That Broke My Spirit – One spear. No hits. Lots of tail.

The One-Shot Wonder – A bear, a rifle, and a moment of absolute panic… that somehow worked.


And plenty more moments coming soon.

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Check it Out Here:

Survivor’s Shorts

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Got a favourite chaotic moment?

Let me know in the comments or tag me on social—I’m always looking for new disasters to celebrate.
And if you enjoy these shorts, consider sharing the page with a fellow survivor.
Because nothing says “friendship” like a moose silently judging you from behind a tree.

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The Pancake Betrayal: A Tale of Syrup, Hope, and Crushing Disappointment in The Long Dark

On Day 1, I found Lily’s pancake recipe. On Day 2, maple syrup. I dared to dream. But The Long Dark had other plans. Here’s the tragic tale of the pancakes that never were.

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How It All Began

It started like all great adventures do: with breakfast.

Day 1 of my Customloper run. I was cold, hungry, and rummaging through Milton like a raccoon with a pension. That’s when I found it. A recipe card tucked neatly into a drawer: Lily’s Pancakes.

Hope bloomed. Pancakes. In the apocalypse.

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Day 2: Syrup From The Heavens

Then it happened. The gods of calories smiled upon me.

I found maple syrup. Actual syrup. In a game where peanut butter is a rare treasure and soda is currency, this was the nectar of the ancients.

I had the recipe. I had the syrup. All I needed was… the ability to cook it?

—

The Dream Dies

Enter Cooking Skill 4.

And acorn grounds.

Because apparently, pancakes in The Long Dark are a late-game luxury, not a wholesome wilderness breakfast. You need to:

Boil acorns

Grind them

Have mastered the culinary arts

Possibly offer a sacrifice to the RNG gods


I barely have shoes. But yes, let’s make artisanal pancake flour from forest nuts.

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The Aftertaste of Betrayal

So now the recipe sits in my inventory, mocking me. The syrup? Hoarded like liquid gold. And I? I chew on stale crackers in the corner, dreaming of what could’ve been.

One day, I will reach Cooking Skill 4.
One day, I will gather acorns, grind them, and make pancake batter.

But today? Today I make tea. And try not to cry.

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Final Thoughts

This game has broken me before, but never like this. Frostbite? Bear maulings? Fine. But withholding pancakes? That’s a new low.

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For more info on what Customloper is, please check out: The Long Dark Customloper Settings: Easier Interloper Survival Mode

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Want to read more tales like this? Please check out: Survivor’s Shorts

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Here’s What’s Coming Next Week on Survivor Incognito

Another week, another round of questionable life choices in wildly inhospitable environments. Here’s what’s landing on the blog over the next few days:

Monday – Day One Diary: No Man’s Sky
Stranded on a frozen planet with nothing but a busted scanner and a dream. Thermal protection is falling faster than my confidence, and there are plants that bite back. Perfect start, really.

Wednesday – Day One Diary: Customloper – The Long Dark
My gentler Interloper settings meet the frozen coast of the Coastal Highway. Looting begins, weather disagrees, and the chaos is only just getting started. First steps on a new permadeath run which will be starting June 8th.

Thursday – Skyrim Survival Day 5
My Argonian stealth archer continues his journey across the frosty north—this time, with fewer torches, more panic, and an increasing failing at slealth. Good times.

Friday – The Long Dark – Day 5 (Voyageur Run)
Blizzards, bears, and birch bark. What could go wrong? Find out as the saga of survival (and accidental near-death experiences) rolls on.


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As always, all runs are permadeath, all chaos is real, and all posts go live at 1PM GMT.

Got a favourite so far? Curious about what’s next? Feel free to leave a comment—or just quietly judge my survival decisions from afar.


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Here’s What You Missed This Week – Permadeath and Prybars

Survival, strategy, and a fair bit of falling into things.

It’s been another chaotic but oddly satisfying week at Survivor Incognito, where the snow is endless, the bandits are clingy, and my survival strategy often involves “run first, question everything later.” Here’s what dropped this week:

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Sneak, Snipe, Repeat: Day 3

A High Elf ambush kicked off the day, because Skyrim doesn’t believe in subtlety. Our Dragonborn-in-training wandered into Whiterun with no torch, accidentally handed in a quest they’d already completed, became Thane, fought a dragon, and looted half the city’s cheese stockpile—all without a working flashlight.
Read the chaos here:
Day 3 – Whiterun Welcomes Me

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The Cold Chronicles – Day 4

Our Voyageur finally escaped Crumbling Highway, stepping into Coastal Highway only to meet gale-force winds, a casual bear, and wolves with a personal vendetta. Despite blizzards and a questionable cliff descent, they found shelter, loot, and just so many prybars.
Read it here:
Day 4 – A Voyageur’s Tale of The Long Dark

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New Pages Launched

The Graveyard

Where runs go when they’ve gone… poorly. From unexpected wolf attacks to permadeath pratfalls, this page memorializes your greatest “oops.”
Visit The Graveyard

Rules of Survival

A breakdown of how I play survival games on the blog: permadeath is non-negotiable, no cheats, no take-backs, no mercy. Also includes series-specific rules for The Long Dark, Skyrim, and No Man’s Sky.
Read the Rules

Customloper Settings

Tired of Interloper crushing your soul but still want a challenge? Enter: Customloper—Interloper weather with settings that don’t make you cry into your bedroll. Full settings list, and a FAQ included.
See the Settings

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Customloper is Live – Interloper Weather, Voyageur Loot, No Mercy

Customloper is here.

If you’ve ever thought “Voyageur is too chill, but Interloper is just mean,” this one’s for you.

Customloper is my custom game mode for The Long Dark — combining Interloper-level weather and fire-starting with Voyageur loot and wildlife settings. It’s brutal, but fair. Cold, but not cruel. Wolves still bite, but they’ll give you 24 hours to get your act together.

This isn’t just a settings list. The guide includes:

  • Full breakdown of every Customloper setting
  • Recommended starting regions (and which ones to avoid)
  • Key survival tips that will actually help you not die
  • A full FAQ for confused and/or skeptical players
  • The custom code you can plug in and try for yourself

Read the full guide here:
Customloper Settings & Survival Guide

Coming Wednesday:

The Day 1 Diary — a full playthrough using these settings. Expect regret, cold, and probably rabbits.

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