🩸 Derailed & Doomed: A Choo Choo Charles Survival Diary Log 6: Three Eggs and a Funeral (Probably)

Faith, Paint, and Poorly Sighted Cultists

With two eggs remaining, I decide I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. Time to face destiny — or at least, sprint toward it screaming.

The first target: the mine in the middle of the island. On the way, I stumble upon a church, complete with a sermon that sounds more like a cult recruitment speech than holy scripture. I also find a can of black paint — clearly divine intervention — so I treat my train to a new coat before heading inside the mine.

The cultists here… well, let’s just say the masks are doing more harm than good. One could’ve had a clean shot on me, but apparently, I was invisible. What begins as a stealth mission quickly devolves into “grab the egg and run.” I sprint out, bullets whizzing past, praying my train hasn’t wandered off without me. Once the shooting stops, I open the map, mark my train, and plan my route to the final mine.

The Bug Spray Revelation

Two mines down, two eggs in hand, one to go — and Charles knows it. His whistle cuts through the air as I make my way toward the last mine. This time, though, I’m prepared.

I’ve learned that the bug spray isn’t just for keeping his ugly mug at bay; it deals slow, steady chip damage if used sparingly. It’s not glamorous, but it’s something. I’ll need to remember this for our inevitable final showdown.

After a short skirmish, Charles retreats. I let him go — we’ll finish this soon enough.

The Final Egg

The southern mine awaits. Inside, I get another chance to show off my lockpicking skills — not that anyone’s watching. For a brief, glorious moment, I think the place might actually be abandoned.

Then I hear the whistling.

So, back to the classic strategy: Run. Grab. Run again. I burst out of the mine clutching the last egg, a cultist hot on my heels. Fortunately for me (and unfortunately for him), I reverse my train right over him. Efficient, if a little messy.

The three eggs are mine. One final stop remains — the shrine, the signal, the point of no return. Either I end Charles… or he ends me.

Next Stop: The Final Fight

I take one last look at the map. Every track, every encounter, every scrap of metal has led to this. The next log will be the last — one way or another.

It’s time to finish this.