Spawn Location: Midlands 4
Difficulty Setting: Easy (allegedly)
Death Count: 1
Notable Quotes: “That doedicurus looks manageable.”
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Wake Up, Punch a Bush
I came to in the middle of the desert wearing absolutely nothing except a sense of misplaced confidence. Sun blazing, heat rising, and the HUD silently judging me. First instinct? Punch a bush. Gathered some fiber, thatch, and self-respect.
Leveled up once from raw enthusiasm alone. Put that point into Health, because even I could tell I was about five bad decisions away from dying.
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The Accidental Shirt Empire
Decided to craft some clothes before the sun roasted me alive. Opened the crafting menu, tried to make one shirt—accidentally made five.
Now accepting names for my pop-up desert boutique. Eventually got it together and added some pants. No shoes though. Those required hide. Hide required confrontation.
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Tooling Up & Feeling Bold
Made a pickaxe and found a water vein. Hydration status: temporarily acceptable.
Crafted a hatchet. Then a spear. Then a sun hat, because I like my survivalism with a side of flair. I had gear, water, and the kind of reckless optimism that leads straight to the respawn screen.
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The Enemy of My Confidence
I needed hide. So I looked around:
Ankylosaurus: Too many spikes. Hard pass.

Doedicurus: Round, slow-looking, vaguely adorable. I could take it.
I could not.
The second it noticed me, it went full Beyblade and chased me halfway across the dunes. I survived, barely, and took that as a sign to regroup. Obviously, I didn’t listen.
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The Fatal Spear Throw
Bandaged my pride, gathered more supplies, and returned to the scene of my failure with renewed stupidity.
Lined up the doedicurus in my sights. Threw the spear.
Missed completely.
It charged. I died.
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Summary of Bad Decisions
Crafted 5 shirts by accident: Unplanned fashion mogul
Picked a fight with a doedicurus: Lost. Twice.
Made tools and a spear: Forgot to aim before throwing
Died as tradition dictates
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Final Thoughts
ARK on Easy Mode is still full of bad decisions if you’re making them fast enough.
Doedicurus: not food, not friendly, not forgettable.
Respawning is a learning experience. Eventually.
Next time, I’ll pick a different animal to harass. Probably regret that too.
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